Amber Hollingsworth talks to people whose loved ones keep bringing up drinking or drug use. When someone confronts you repeatedly, it usually means they're scared, not just criticizing. Denial and secrecy make things worse. Leaning into the conversation instead breaks the cycle.
Chapters
This, if you are the person that you feel like your partner or your parent or whoever it is is coming at you all the time, I just want you to understand that there's some validity to that. They're not just negative all the time. They're not just controlling. They're not just trying to be critical of you. There is something going on there. They're seeing something. And if you can just step back a little bit and be honest with yourself, that doesn't mean I'm saying that you're an alcoholic or you have to say you're an alcoholic. Maybe they are overreacting a little bit. Probably not. That could be the case. It's still someone that you love and care about that's And they're coming at you from a scared place. And if you could respond to that fear and address what's going on, you're going to get a better reaction out of them. And then, like I said, we're going to get that cycle. It's going to be going in the right direction again. You want to be asking yourself, what are you going to do when your loved one comes at you with those questions? Or sometimes it feels like accusations or even presents you with that evidence of that they found the empty bottles or whatever it was. Are you going to deny it? Are you going to tell them it's not true? Are you going to lie? Or is that going to make you increase your sneak drinking? Or are you gonna lean into that a little bit and find out what's going on underneath that? What is the deeper concern there? And can we talk about that? Can we get on the same page? Because the worst place to be is in that cat and mouse dynamic. You're running from them and they're chasing you, and that just makes you want to hide more, which actually just escalates substance use, right? Especially if it's drinking or something, because then you're drinking in secret, which means you're probably drinking something stronger or you're drinking it faster while they got their head turned, and the whole problem just gets worse and worse and worse.
