Amber Hollingsworth (speaker) argues that severe consequences do not cure addiction and often worsen it. She reports from clinical experience (detox groups) that people commonly continue using after major losses; therefore waiting for a "bottom" is unwise because it increases brain damage, relationship loss, and resource depletion. She describes brief "moments of clarity" (lasting minutes to up to two days) that can open a window for change and recommends using trained professionals and techniques like motivational interviewing to convert those windows into sustained recovery.
Chapters
Foreign. Let's talk about the idea of consequences and how that plays into the recovery process. Now I'm getting on my high horse. Gotta look a little higher. Here we go. I have a big old like tangent about this whole consequence thing because almost everyone I know, even people in recovery, even people in treatment, treatment providers, doctors, sponsors, everyone, they talk about needing the person to have enough consequences in order to decide to get better or to hit their bottom. So to say, I have a very different point of view. So I'm gonna put a disclaimer out there and tell you this is Amber's point of view. Now it does come from years of experience of working with people with addictive related disorders. But that's my disclaimer. I'm just going to tell you what I think about this whole consequences thing. I have actually the opposite belief when it comes to the idea that consequences are going to make someone stop using. In my experience, more consequences drive more addiction. So what that means is the worse it gets, the worse the person is probably going to use. I used to do this group when I worked in detox or this sort of concept in one of the groups I ran. And I would say to a group of individuals, maybe 15 people sitting in a room in a detox facility, and I would say, alright everybody, I want you to think about the worst thing that ever happened to you related to your drug or alcohol use. You don't have to say it, just think about it and I'll wait a second, let everybody think about it. And I'm sure that these people were thinking some like serious things. I mean, you're talking about overdoses, losing your kids, losing your spouse, losing your job. I mean these are major, serious consequences have happened by the time that a person sitting in the detox facility. And I wouldn't really ask them to share it, I just wanted them to think about it. And then I would say to them, alright, now raise your hand. If you used after that point, guess what? Every hand would go up every time I tell you that story to help you understand that consequences, even the most severe consequences are not what make people stop using drugs and alcohol. So if you're a family member and you're waiting for the consequences to get bad enough, let's think about a different strategy. Actually they kind of make it worse because the worse a person's life gets, the longer they use, the more damage they're going to do to their brain, the more they're going to destroy their important relationships, which are a great resource for helping someone get Better they're going to destroy their finances. And the longer it goes on, the more destruction there is, the more limited ability and resources this person is going to have to get better. So waiting for consequences to get worse and worse and worse is probably not a good plan. Because, ask me, the way I like to think about it is you need the scales to tip a little bit. So you need a, you need a little more negative coming in than positive. But you don't necessarily need for this person to hit bottom. In my mind, bottom is death. So I'm not waiting for that. I don't know about you. If you can get this person into, and we'll talk about this in later sessions about how to do it, but if you can, you can get this individual into some sort of treatment or therapy. Even if it's just regular old one to one counseling with a person that's skilled in techniques like motivational interviewing or that has training and expertise in the substance abuse field, then this person knows how to draw motivation forward. And so there actually are a lot of things that can be done that help to focus, find the motivation inside someone and harvest it instead of waiting for all these consequences for life just to get worse and worse and worse and the person just to have this miraculous awakening and decide to get better. In my experience, that's just really not the way that it works Now. After something bad happens, a person will often experience what I call a moment of clarity. And that's when they, it's kind of like a wake up call, a little teeny one. And it's like, like, you know what? I'm not doing this anymore. You know, it can be after just like a bad night of drinking, just wake up and you feel like crap and you're like, oh my God, I'm never drinking again. That's a little teeny moment of clarity. And so I think that's why people think that consequences make it go away. But guess what? That lasts for about anywhere from five minutes, maximum two days, and that is gone. They may make all kind of promises in that moment. They may try, you know, a few things for, you know, like five minutes or so, but that's not going to get a person clean and sober. That might provide a little window to open. And if you have the right trained professional and you know what you're doing, you can use that little moment to make the ball roll. That can then help someone get into recovery. But it is not the thing that's going to keep someone in recovery. That's all for today. Thanks.
