Amber HollingsworthRecovery Conversation Simulator, Amber's Recovery Practice Lab · Interactive learning tool trained on Amber methodoloy

Denial: The Big Picture

27 Nov 2023 · 1 min

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Amber Hollingsworth describes "denial" as a multi-faceted defensive stance—not just literal claims like "I don't have an addiction," but broader minimizations ("it's not really hurting you," "you're overreacting," others can't see it). She frames denial as adversarial: when someone feels threatened (a survival response), attempts to help can be perceived as threats. Hollingsworth uses the metaphor of approaching a wounded dog—requiring calm, slow, gradual interaction—to illustrate why interventions must be gentle to avoid triggering defensive reactions.

Chapters

We talk about denial. Denial is more than just, I don't have an addiction. That's a piece of denial, but there's a bunch of other pieces of it too. It's not really hurting you. You're overreacting. They can't see those things either. So there's that denial. So when you layer in that bad guy roll over top of somebody's brain who's already over here on fire, you can see why it's just such an adversarial thing. If you're trying to help like a wounded dog or something in your neighborhood and you're trying to walk up and help it, it's going to see you as a threat. So you have to interact in a very calm, very slow, very gradual way so that dog doesn't bite you even though you're trying to help it. That's what it like. Because this person feels under threat in a lot of ways, they are under threat. They're in like a survival zone.