Drew Barrymore Says Alcohol Held Her Prisoner

I've changed. Like, I don't drink alcohol anymore. I'm not sober, I don't work a program. That's what else I do is. You know my own business, right? I do. I was like, this is a toxic behavior for me. And my whole life it held me back because I knew that I couldn't like surrender to something nor give it up. It was like that definition of insanity. You do the same shit over and over again expecting a different result. I was a complete prisoner of my own behavior. And finally three and a half years ago, I was like, I can't do this anymore. It doesn't work for me. I'm never gonna be that cool girl with the glass of wine at the party. Like, I'll want three bottles. That's just my personality, it's my addiction. And when I finally let go of that, it made me realize that I was capable of great change. That I totally rebelled about. I was like, I will master this toxic behavior of mine. As if I could. I just did not think I could ever stop. That was a hamster wheel I'd be on my whole life.

Was that something that you had that aha moment yourself?

Did you feel I always knew it.

In your life, push you towards that?

Because that's it. All of the above. Yeah. All my friends were mirrors. They were like, this is not working. They said it for decades. I said, I knew it for decades. And I just thought, I don't know why, I just, I know I'm gonna master this one day. And I. And finally I just gave it up. So that has led me to believe people can change. Cause I wouldn't change for decades. Like four decades. I went drinking or less, I don't know, three and a half. I'm terrible with math. So many years that the narrative was for me is this has a hold over you. You will never break this cycle. You are a prisoner of your own weakness. And every time that you fuck up in life, it has to do with this. You don't like yourself and you're probably gonna be stuck in that for the rest of your life because you won't give it up. Cause you keep telling yourself one day you'll master this. And the last three and a half years have been so awesome and so great. And I don't have any hang ups with it again. I don't work a program. I pour people drink. I have alcohol in my house. Like it's just finally became a confident decisions. So I think once a cheater, not always a cheater. I Think. Can you ask yourself, though, if I think if you're with somebody that cheats, if they can change is second? Can you ever get over it? Even if that person changed, will the past just haunt you and torture you and be in the room with you for life? Then don't be in that relationship, because you'll just keep punishing that person and yourself regardless of their change. So if you really can't ever get over it, it doesn't matter if that person's gonna change or not, because you will bring it into the future. But I do believe people can one day say, I've been stuck in a shitty cycle that I'm totally aware of, and for whatever reason, I convinced myself it would fix itself one day. And you have to do that hard, crazy work of just switching it. And sometimes maybe you're just so sick of yourself that you finally, like, let go or it's a really challenging thing and you struggle and sweat and scream through the whole thing, whatever it is. I know people are capable of change, and I've definitely seen people who don't seem to want to make that change as much as they talk about it. And it's always action over words. In fact, the less you talk about it and just do it, the better. My best friend Nan, always had this saying that I love so much. Insecurity is loud, Confidence is quiet. So just do it and shut up about it.

Yeah, we've had somebody.

It's a good way to.

We were told that just recently say.

That on our podcast. Really?

That's very funny. He's from Southern Charm.

Bravo.

We have Bravo TV show.

Yeah, I said the same thing. Yeah, but no, you're talking about evolution and change. And Ria was talking about TikTok. You're on TikTok. I feel like we see great videos. You love TikTok. One of our.

I'm so into it. Because it's, like, goofy central. Yes.

And depends on what side you're on. It is really good.

You can find yourself on a bad side of TikTok.

You can. How so?

Or if it's on your for you page. Like, you can go down a hole where, like, you just get bad. Like, my TikTok changes all the time. My algorithm, where I'll get fed. Like, really just haunting tiktoks where I'm.

Like, you know what?

This is messing with my head. And then the next day, it's all food. Food recipes.

Yeah.

Like, having a great time.

I want cleaning and then household. Yeah.

I don't want changes.

All the time.

I don't want abandoned dogs.

No.

Sometimes I get like, human trafficking.

Yeah. That's all like.

Or I get like, just really dark. Like, I, I don't even want to go down the.

But I. A lot of what I do get is creators and they do like A Day in the Life and they're in New York City and they live these awesome lives. But I wanted to ask you, if you had TikTok throughout your life, what would A Day in the life 15 at 25 and at 35.

Okay, look like that's fun. I'd be curious to ask you the same question back. 15. Oh, Like, really asking myself, did I want to keep trying to be in films? Because I was totally blacklisted. I'd gotten out of an institution. Did not. Was not welcomed. Not because anybody was mean or cruel, but it was just a, it was a fun ride. You're done. And I had to ask myself, like, did I really want to fight and prove to myself that I wanted to be here? And the answer was a really genuine yes. Like, it was my love, it was my passion. It's what my family has done since the silent films and theater and into the talkies. Like, I feel a genetic cosmic pull. And I love storytelling and I love, I love it. And I. That was a really cool revelation for me that I love what I do and I'm not doing it for anyone else or for the wrong reasons. That was 15. 25. 25.

We're going.

Partying my ass off. Living it up now. A producer, making films, hanging out and doing like the Wedding Singer and Ever after and Charlie's Angels and just really wanting to, like, make the most of the opportunity and not screw it up, but just have the best time ever. Go to concerts, kiss boys, make out the best. Dogs running around, friends up on night, work all day. The best. Oh, 25 was fun. Such good times. And then what's the next?

35.

Very quiet and meditative, thinking that I would change all of my behavior in order to become a parent. And I met this man and like, life got really quiet and serious. Not lacking in fun or beauty, but just like, okay, I think I'm ready to do my best to not screw this up. And then you make plans and it all blows up in your face. And then I just repeatedly kept it. Yeah, 35 was very meditative and like, okay. It's funny when you put it in those years because if somebody says, like, do you have a five year plan? I would never have an answer. I don't know.

We never.

People ask us all the time. We say, wherever the wind takes us.

I fall in love with what I'm doing or what's in front of me or what is possible, and I'm very focused on that. I can diversify and focus on many things at the same time, but I don't have board vision or I'm.

I also love that. I also love that if you live it more like that, when you look back at five years ago, you'd be like, wow, My. My self, five years ago would have never predicted where I am right now. And that's cool.

Like, you don't.

You wouldn't say, oh, God, I'm so off track of where I thought I was gonna be.

Five years ago, I was so broken. I was so sad about getting divorced and, like, raising my. I just. I was broken, and I was unforgiving of myself, and I never dreamt I could be at such a much more healthy, forgiving, thriving place like our blended family's amazing. The girls are happy, I'm in a job I'm in love with, my friends are good. Like, everything's okay. And five years ago, I was convinced everything was broken for life. Sam.