A short advice video by Amber Hollingsworth about handling mistrust from family and friends during early recovery from addiction. The speaker emphasizes that past lying, omission, deception and manipulation cause deep wounds that won’t heal overnight; recommends owning wrongdoing, practicing patience and empathy toward family triggers, and persisting long-term to rebuild trust. The video closes with a subscription call-to-action.
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Today's video is all about dealing with mistrust from your family and friends. Okay, it's time for some real talk here. If you're in the situation that you're watching these videos, my guess is you've done a lot of lying or a omitting things, deception, to say the least. Manipulation. Come on now. You know you have done a lot of things to lose your trust with the people around you. And as frustrating as it is, it's not going to come back overnight. And it can be so difficult because you can be doing really well, you can be doing all the right things and for no reason at all. It's almost like you lose all your trust back. And then there are going to be some days and some things that happen, and it's like you haven't made any progress at all. And your family will spiral to the old days and have a hard time trusting you. Remember, families have triggers just like you have triggers. So you might see certain people, places and things that trigger your brain up and make you want to use. Well, your family sees certain people, places, things, attitudes, behaviors that trigger them up to make them remember the past. And it's a natural response. And to tell you the truth, you. You built this mess, so you're going to have to figure out how to deal with it. As difficult as it is, I know it can feel like if they're never going to trust me again, I might as well just go out there and do whatever. You're going to have days like that, but you've got to remind yourself the trust will come back. Forgiveness will come, but it won't come all at once. It'll come slowly over a period of time. And sometimes they may take a step or two backwards, just like in recovery. I bet there's been some steps or two backwards for you at times. You've got to practice patience with your family. You've got to own up to the fact that you built the system. That's not allowing them to trust you. So instead of getting defensive, just own it. If there's a trigger or an argument, be empathetic. Own the fact that you've done a lot of things to break their trust. That's one thing you can do that will actually help you get trust a lot faster. So just hang with it. No matter how long it takes, weeks, months, a year, whatever it takes, you've got to hang in there. You will prove yourself and they will trust you again. But how long it takes to come back is all gonna be depending on how much lies, deception, and manipulation that you've done in the past. Have you heard that saying, you make your bed, now lie in it. Hey, dude, you might as well get yourself like a down comforter and some super soft pillows. You know, those kinds that keep your head cool at night because you might be in there for a while. So get comfortable. Just if you get your expectations in the right place, it won't bother you nearly as much. Think about it like this. If you had a boyfriend or girlfriend or a spouse that cheated on you and then came clean about it, and then cheated on you again, and then came clean about it, and then cheated on you again, and then came clean about it, but this time they were really, really doing well, guess what? Your trust will have been broken so much and so deeply that even when things are going well for a really long time, if that person is just a few minutes late coming, guess what? Immediately your brain is going to go reeling back, and you're going to be angry and frustrated and scared, and all of those negative emotions are just going to come flooding in on you. That's what it's like to be your family. So have some empathy. If you or a loved one has a drug or alcohol problem and you don't want to waste a lot of time and money doing all the wrong things, save yourself the heartache. Subscribe to this channel and I'll make sure you're always five steps ahead of addiction.
