A short YouTube monologue by Amber Hollingsworth advising people in early recovery to practice vulnerability and honesty. The speaker argues that appropriate vulnerability fosters connection and empathy, which helps navigate difficult conversations and situations in early sobriety, while warning against over-sharing or playing the victim.
Chapters
Okay, so today's video should tie in very nicely with the last two videos. Today's video is all about vulnerability. I know, I don't like it either. I know you think, oh, you're a counselor, you're all about that. Not really. I'm not one of those touchy feely kind of counselors. That's why I see addiction, because it's not that touchy feely. It's pretty, pretty straight to the point. But learning to be vulnerable is a very important recovery skill. One of the things I love about people in recovery is their ability to be humble and vulnerable and honest. You really just can't help but like someone like this. In recovery, especially early recovery, there's going to be a lot of really difficult moments and difficult conversations and obstacles to overcome. But instead of trying to cowboy your way through those situations, force the situation or manipulate the situation like maybe you would have in the past, it's time to do something different. You see, vulnerability allows for connection. So if you're struggling, say you're struggling. If you're worried, say you're worried. If you feel insecure about something, say you feel insecure about something. Because guess what, Most of the time, those things, they come across anyway. And when we try to hide it or have all these defense mechanisms, it just comes across awkward and weird and it makes it really hard for other people to connect to us. So, like, for example, if you run into someone that you haven't seen in a long time because you've been away in treatment, or you've not been going around because you don't drink anymore or something like that, and they ask you what's going on, maybe it's a time to be vulnerable and just say, hey, you don't have to tell all of your business, but just say, hey, you know what? I had some life things going on and I had to take some time to sort through it. The right amount of vulnerability is so important now. You can be over vulnerable. Like if you're constantly whining or a victim or throwing your feelings out and everything that's done happened to you in the past, all over, to anybody that will listen and every stranger that's over vulnerability, and that will actually push people away from you. But in general, letting those walls down a little bit, being authentic and letting your inside show on the outside is going to make you come across as what a fancy counselor word might be, congruent. That means the same on the inside as on the outside. And I'm telling you, people will connect to that sometimes people ask me questions like, you know, how do you see addicts and alcoholics? All day, every day? And I usually see the ones that have gotten themselves in big trouble, and I help them get out of it. And here's what I tell them. When someone's being authentic with you and honest and vulnerable with you, it's almost impossible not to like them. So think about it. I've had hundreds, thousands of people sit on my couch, tell me some really bad stuff. But because they're being honest and open and vulnerable about it, it's almost impossible. I can't help but like them and feel for their situation. That doesn't mean I necessarily approve of their decision or what happened, but I have a strong empathy for that. Learn to be vulnerable. Let those defense mechanisms down a little bit. You'll find that life is so much easier.
