A short YouTube talk by Amber Hollingsworth about unhealthy interpersonal patterns in recovery—specifically rescuer or hero thinking. The speaker explains that people who habitually rescue others may initially feel good helping, but can build resentment when others don't help themselves; that resentment can shift the rescuer into victim thinking and then into persecutor behavior. The clip warns about poor boundaries and encourages awareness of rescuing tendencies.
Chapters
Okay, we've talked about victim thinking, and we've talked about persecutor thinking. And the last one we're going to talk about today, this one's probably going to surprise you, is actually rescuer or hero thinking. So we all do this to some degree. We, in fact, we all do all those things. We all have victim thinking, persecutor thinking, and rescuers thinking. But most people don't think about this one as being sort of bad or unhealthy, but it really is. And I'll tell you why. If you tend to be the kind of person that wants to help people all the time, it can actually get you in trouble, especially if you're. Especially if you don't have really good boundaries about it. So you might see other people around you as a victim and you might feel sorry for them and you might help them. You're going to know the difference in being a helper and being a rescuer by this. When you help someone, you're gonna feel really good about it. When you are constantly rescuing someone, you eventually build a resentment about it. Because what's probably happening is you're working harder to solve their problem than they are. And when that happens, you may start out feeling good about helping them, but when they don't step up and help themselves, you get angry at them, you get mad at them, and then guess what you do. You turn into the persecutor because you built a resentment. You actually move from the rescuer, and then you felt mad because they didn't help themselves. And you're always them out or whatever it is. And so then you move to I'm the victim. So you were the rescuer. Now you're thinking, I'm the victim. I have, because poor pitiful me, I do everything for everybody. And then because of that, you probably move right on up there to the persecutor, because you're going to act ugly about it, because you're going to have that resentment. And after a while that's going to come out some way somehow. So you've got to also watch out for your rescuing tendencies because that leads you down a bad path too. It.
