Get Sober Without Going To 12 Step Meetings

The first thing you got to do if you want to get sober without going to 12 step meetings is stop focusing on whether or not you're an alcoholic. Chances are you're mostly focusing on that because you're trying to convince yourself that you can solve this problem without stopping drinking altogether. Because if you are asking yourself this problem, then it means it's already causing a lot of problems in your life or you wouldn't really be questioning it. So that's really the better question you should be contemplating What. What is the effect that alcohol is having in my life? Is it taking me in the direction I want to go, or is it holding me back? Or is it taking me in the opposite direction from where I want to go? Can I be the kind of person that I want to be and keep this substance in my life, which includes, you know, can I be the kind of daughter, husband, wife, brother, sister, grandparent, coworker, CEO, physician, lawyer, Whatever the roles in your life are, can you be the best version of those roles and keep alcohol in your life? If you're questioning that, that's a pretty good indicator that it's not serving you well. You are made to be fruitful and productive and help other people in some kind of way along your journey in this life. And just like a plant which is made to be fruitful and productive, if I watered it with alcohol instead of water every day, what would happen to it? It wouldn't grow, it couldn't be productive, and it definitely couldn't be fruitful. So stop worrying about, am I an alcoholic or am I not an alcoholic? Once you come to the conclusion that alcohol isn't very well, and it's time to move on to a different phase of life, then what I'd like for you to do is I want you to come up with a new mission. I want you to focus on how do I become a better person? And I'm not just saying that because I'm saying you're a bad person. I'm saying that for some, like, scientific reasons, for some biological reasons, because when you focus on growing, learning, becoming a better person, it produces all the right brain chemistry that makes you, number one, less susceptible to any type of addiction. And number two, build a happy, joyful, joyful, meaningful life. Because your relationships get better, your finances get better, your physical health gets better, your whole life will become more manageable. And if you don't want to do it the 12 step way, that's fine. I mean, I'm a fan of the 12 steps. I'm not Opposed to anyone doing the trail steps, but for various different reasons. A lot of people don't want to go that route, and that's totally fine. I've been helping people get sober for 22 years now. Every time I say that freaks me out because it's a long time. Reminds me just how old I am. And over those 22 years, I've seen people get sober in every kind of way. In fact, most of the people I've helped in my practice haven't gone the 12 step direction, but every single one of them have had some kind of focus on how to be a better person, how to be a better leader, how to be a better father, how to build a better business, how to be a better communicator, how to grow the most beautiful, fabulous garden, how to learn to play guitar better. There's some kind of focus on self improvement. And I know a lot of times in like, early recovery days, people will say, well, find yourself a new hobby or an interest. And I'm not opposed to that either. But it's really hard to do in the early recovery days because your dopamines are all screwed up, your brain chemicals are a mess, and it's really hard to find that kind of joy and pleasure from hobbies and interests and activities. I think you need something deeper and more purposeful than that. I think you need a new mission in life. I think you need to put that, like, addicted part of your brain, that overly excessive part of your brain, which is actually kind of a great part of your brain, to better use. And the best way to do that is to figure out what your strengths are, figure out who you want to be, and start trying to be that person. Have you ever heard of formula be do have? You want certain things in life, you have to become the kind of person that can have those things. And the way that works is you become that person, and then you can have the things that that kind of person would have. Whatever that is for you. If that's be a millionaire, great. If that's be a really fantastic mother, great. If that's run a company, wonderful. If that's be a better artist, it doesn't really matter what your thing is, but you need to figure out what that thing is. Focus on becoming that kind of person by behav in the kind of ways that that kind of person would behave, and you will reap the rewards of all that hard work. Now, when we first start into something and we're becoming a new person, just like a plant grows the first Thing that has to do before a plant grows really great big and tall and produces fruit is it has to grow down into the dirt. It has to get those roots down in there so that it can support the weight of all the rewards that it is going to bring forward. And so it's hard at first. You don't see immediate results. But guess what, you can feel proud of yourself for all that work you're putting in and you could know that those good seeds that you're planting will bring forth good rewards in your life. This is exactly what we do. I see this happen all the time, every single day. This is exactly what we do. In my strength based coaching program, do you know how much I talk to my strength based clients about their drinking and using? Not that much. I mean, we talk a little bit about it. We, we talk about if they're having a hard day, cravings, I give them some tips and advice about it. But mostly what we talk about is who they are as a person, who they want to be as a person, what their strengths are, how they can build on those strengths. And that is exact what I want you to do. You actually don't have to tear yourself down as a person to overcome any kind of addiction. In fact, instead of thinking about getting rid of your addiction, it might be kind of better or healthier to say, you know what, let me just point that towards something else. Because if you're one of these addictive personality people, sort of addictive by nature, that's just who you are. And that's not a bad thing. It means that you are built for a specific reason. You have extreme focus. It means you can hyper focus on things you like to learn, grow, become. You're just, just using that quality of yourself in the wrong direction. That's all. And if you can switch it over and focus more on your strengths and start growing as a person and figuring out how to become the kind of person that you're proud of, that's all recovery is. And I'm not just saying that to be all smushy, gushy, counselory type. I'm saying it because it's the kind of brain chemistry that's going to keep you stable, happy and healthy. If you feel like you might need a little help in this direction, you want to learn more about the strength coaching program, I will put a link in the description and also right up here you can click it, you can learn more about it. And up next, I got a video for you that's going to go a little deeper into this topic. It's about how to build a meaningful life in recovery.