Amber Hollingsworth (master addiction counselor) argues that the common belief that people must "hit rock bottom" to recover from addiction is a harmful myth. She explains that addiction involves continuing use despite severe negative consequences, that consequences alone rarely produce lasting change, and that recovery depends more on a person becoming convinced they want a different life, managing willpower, and sustaining moments of clarity rather than waiting for a catastrophic event.
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This idea that people have to hit rock bottom to get better from addiction is probably the most destructive myth out there about addiction. And in this video, I'm going to explain to you why that is and give you a little bit more realistic view on what actually helps people to get better. So if this is something that you've been struggling with for yourself, or even thinking about it for a loved one, this video is going to help you clarify what's really going on here and how addiction really, really, truly works. And even more importantly than that, how recovery really works. For those of you who are new here, I'm Amber Hollingsworth, master addiction counselor, and this channel is all about helping you understand the science and psychology of addiction so you can get your life and your loved ones back on track, get back to living the life that you want to live. So we've all heard it. There's this notion out there that in order for someone to really and truly want recovery for themselves or decide to get better and beat their addiction, they have to hit this rock bottom or they have to hit bottom. We've all heard it, and for some reason, we just accept it without a whole lot of real rational, analytical thought. So let's take a little bit deeper look at that. You know, one of the most basic definitions of addiction is something that someone does despite the fact that it's causing negative consequences in their life. So this idea of rock bottom being this major consequence that's going to make someone stop, and this other idea over here that we have about what addiction really means, means people keep doing it despite the consequences. It's like we believe both of these thoughts at the same time, but they don't go together. They're kind of opposites. Because in reality, we know that when you have an addiction, you keep using, even though the negative consequences you keep coming. I really, really, really want you to understand that consequences do not cure addiction. In fact, most of the time, consequences make addiction worse, definitely not better. Now, behind most myths, there's a little tiny grain of truth. So I'm going to tell you what that grain of truth is. But it's really not enough to make this a valid point. The grain of truth there is that after something really bad happens to someone that's related to their addiction, they may have this wake up call moment. I call it like this little moment of clarity where they stop and they think, I'm sick of this. I don't want to do this anymore. I just want this to be all over. And even though the person has that thought, it usually doesn't stay around very long. Which is why this whole idea of hitting rock bottom is just such a false notion. It doesn't make people get better. A long time ago, when I worked in a detox facility, I would ask my group in the detox unit of the hospital. I would say, I want in here to think of the worst thing, the worst thing that's ever happened to you because of your addiction. And then I say, now I want you to raise your hand. If you used. After that worst thing happened to you, guess what happened? Every hand in the group would go up. So think about the things that happen to people. People lose their kids, People lose their lives. People lose their loved ones, their jobs, their freedom, their homes. The most severe things that can happen to you can and will happen to people because of their addiction. And yet they keep using. You know, so many times we have it in our head that, well, if the person's homeless or if they lose everything, they'll finally realize what they're giving up, and they'll get it together, and they'll get their act straight. Sometimes those big bad things that happen Will make us think for just a moment, hey, maybe I don't want to do this. But that in and of itself is just not enough to get someone to actually get better from addiction. Which is why I think it's so important for you to stop telling yourself this, Stop telling other people this, Stop waiting for it to happen. And for God's sake, please stop punishing yourself. When you're stuck in addiction, you're really stuck in this dilemma of instant relief or ultimate relief. Because when it comes down to it, you're in a constant state of uncomfortability. Based on the biological effects of the addiction, Based on the social ramifications. Your family's mad at you, all these consequences that you've wrecked up. And so you're in this constant state of uncomfortableness. And it's so easy to stay in that addiction. Because you're just looking for some kind of immediate relief to that. The problem is, the longer you search out the immediate relief to that, the more uncomfortable your situation is going to get. And so, essentially, you get stuck in the trap. And it feels like you just can't get out. Now, there will be points along the way where something bad enough will happen. The consequences or the uncomfortableness of that thing will, for a short time, outweigh the uncomfortableness of the addiction. In those moments, you'll be in this readiness or this willingness state to overcome the addiction. To deal with that. Like, for example, if you just got put in jail, if you just lost your kids, if some really bad consequence, that uncomfortableness begins to outweigh the uncomfortableness of not having the drug. When people really say it's like this hitting bottom thing, but it's really a matter of seeking relief. And it's in those moments where a lot of times people will be willing to do something different. However, whatever that uncomfortableness is will eventually stabilize. Even if you're thrown in prison or in jail, you know, you kind of eventually get used to that, even though it's really bad. I'm not saying that in a good way. I'm just saying that that stabilizes out, and then the addiction then comes back to take the forefront, and you're looking for that immediate relief, uncomfortableness. The decision you have to make here is, can I get out of this immediate need for relief in order to get the ultimate relief, in order to get out of this trap, this cycle once and for all? And that doesn't come because something really horrible happens to you. That comes because you finally get into this place of, I don't want to be stuck here anymore more. You start to envision something better for your life. You start to believe that things can get better. That's why people really get and stay sober, because they come to believe that things can get better, and they can get into their rational, thinking mind, and for a minute or two, they can get out of this trap of, I just need to feel better right now, right now. And in order to do that, it's really a willpower issue. In the beginning of getting out of the addiction trap, it's really all about managing your willpower. And that's another saying you've heard right. Addiction isn't a willpower issue. Wrong again. Addiction is a willpower issue. Not that you don't have willpower. It's just that the addiction is eating through your willpower at a million miles an hour, Causing you to constantly be low and running out of willpower. Therefore, another one of those reasons is keeping you in the trap of addiction. I tell my clients all the time, you don't have to hit bottom. You just have to be convinced. And you have to know in your heart that you will if you don't stop. You just have to know that's where you're headed. And you know the craziest thing about this? I've seen people get clean and sober, be clean and sober for months, weeks, years, and then all of a sudden, they have a craving or they want to use or something bad happens, and then they start sort of moving back into that addictive thinking, and they will literally tell themselves, well, I didn't really hit rock bottom, or, well, I think I was just getting sober for this other false reason. They start to tell themselves this lie, which then allows them to go back to the addiction. That's one of the reasons why this thought is such a destructive, counterproductive thought. So for goodness sakes, please stop waiting for rock bottom. Because as we say in recovery, you hit your bottom when you put your shovel down, wherever that is, that's your bottom, and you're done, and you can walk away.
