How Addicts and Alcoholics Justify Their Drug and Alcohol Use

Now, for those of you who are on this journey with me, to stay five steps ahead of addiction, one of the most important things you're going to have to be able to do is to predict the next addictive thought. That's how you get five steps ahead. For those of you who are new here, welcome to Put the shovel down. And let me know in the comments that you're new to this channel, because I'd like to welcome you to our little community. I'm Amber Hollingsworth, master addiction counselor and founder of the Invisible Inner, a highly successful online program for family members worried about an addicted loved one. And for more information about that, check out the description below. But let's get back to our topic. Now, when it comes to the topic of rationalizing our behavior, all human beings do this. We all rationalize our good choices and our bad choices. It's the way that we deal with that little tiny ping of shame or guilt or uncomfortableness or embarrassment or whatever that uncomfortable feeling is inside. It's the way that we numb out that really uncomfortable feeling inside. So knowing that, you can understand how someone with an addiction would likely engage in rationalizing and justifying the same way as everyone else, just to a much larger extent. Now, you guys are up for a real treat today because I have two expert witnesses for you to give you their firsthand experience with rationalizing and justifying addictive behaviors. First up, meet Leon.

All right, guys. Hey. Thank you so much for having me on your channel, Amber. Really excited to be able to share a few words with you guys. Just a quick introduction. My name is Leon Sylvester. I run a company called soberclear where I work with business owners and professionals, helping them to stop drinking. And, you know. But my journey to this great life without alcohol was not a straightforward path. It took me about a decade of this chaotic lifestyle to actually find a solution and actually, you know, get sober. So we're talking about rationalizing bad decisions. Now, listen, I was an absolute master of rationalizing bad decisions. And I think that anybody that gets caught up in an addiction is a master at rationalizing, because how can you live with yourself with this very destructive behavior of destroying relationships, destroying your health? You know, because the reality is, is that addiction is a very destructive thing. So you come up with rationalizations in your own mind. You kind of. You try to justify any kind of behavior. And I had a huge list of justifications. I used to think that I'd drink because I was thirsty. I would drink because I enjoyed the taste. I used to think that I would drink because it helped me relieve stress. It used to help give me courage when I wanted to talk to, you know, a member of the opposite sex or tell somebody what I really thought about them. I drink for that. I drink because I thought it helped me relax. I drink because my friends drank. I drank because I thought I was an alcoholic. I drank for all of these different reasons. You know, these were like rationalization. So when I drank it was like in my head I knew I was doing something wrong, but at the same time I had this list of reasons that I thought that I drank for, right? And it was only when I was able to actually logically break down these, these so called reasons that I thought that this was why I drank alcohol. The only time that I was able to actually stop and enjoy the process of stopping, instead of feeling, you know, like it was this really difficult thing, was actually looking at these rationalizations and really objectively trying to understand why I kept doing it right. And I think it's a fantastic video for a topic on your channel number because we all have these rationalizations and when we're able to bring awareness to these rationalizations and see them as almost like it's really hard to put into words. But it's like these beliefs that we just hold onto with our fingertips, we just hope that these beliefs are right to kind of justify the destructive behavior that's really going on. And you know, it's probably quite a touchy subject. Probably a lot of people are going to feel a little bit uncomfortable with people sharing these kind of stories. But you know, if you are rationalizing that behavior, I really recommend that you kind of start breaking them down and really trying to look at what they are and where they come from and why. Exactly. You think about it, because at the end of the day, people are addicted to drugs and they don't realize it, but they come up with these rationalizations which, you know, they do nothing to serve you in any way whatsoever. But yeah, that's like a little bit of insight into rationalizing crazy behavior. I had a crazy, crazy time drinking. It was just not good, not good. But anyway, thanks a lot for having me on. Channel number Speak to you later.

Now, I don't know if you picked up on this, but oftentimes in rationalizing there is circular logic. And you can hear this in Leon's description. At some point his justification was, well, I think I'm an alcoholic, so I drink. That's what alcoholics do. And I'm sure in the very beginning he would tell Himself. I'm not an alcoholic, so it's okay for me to drink. You see how it's circular? There's just a no win situation. And you're really going to like our next expert witness, Kyle. He's going to break it down for you in stages.

What's up, K. Rugs? The sober dog justifications of my drug use to both myself and to other people was a huge thing in my addiction. It basically went by stages. So in the beginning of my addiction was like high school stage. The justifications I use then because I was doing well, fit like outside areas. I was doing well academically, I was doing very well on the football field. I had a part time job. So in my mind to get blackout drunk on a Friday and Saturday night was justified because I just busted my butt on the football field all week, busted my butt at a job, got, you know, B's, low A's, high B's my whole time. As that progressed to college, I lived with a bunch of football players who drank pretty heavily. I drank with different groups of people, but I always justified my drinking to myself by I might hang out with this group who drank to Blackout tonight and then that group who drank to Blackout the next night. The common denominator was always me. But this group only did it Monday and Thursday, and that group only did it Wednesday and Friday. But Kyle did it with them every night. But I'd be like, oh, everyone with me is drinking that hard. But they're all taken off tomorrow. And the next day I wasn't. When my parents and other outside family members started to question it, I would always justify it and explain it away with, but my grades are still good, but I'm doing well on the football field. But I got a job. And I think everybody wanted to believe what I said because it's like, hey, he is doing well in all these other areas. So they wanted to believe the best. You know, it's a phase, it's college. He still is doing good in school. So everyone kind of gave me the benefit of the doubt. He'll grow out of it. After college, when it really started to affect, like when the drugs came in, pills, oxy, heroin. Then it became a lot harder to start justifying. But I always found a way. I would always tell myself, you got to do heroin today or you're going to be sick. You're depressed. Heroin helps you stay, you know, not depressed. I got work today. I can't go to work in withdrawal. I got to do dope, so I got to get Some for before work, so that I'm there as a hard worker, not sick. After work. It's starting to come down. I got to go get some more. I just worked eight hours. I deserve it. And I. All these little things I would justify. And then to friends and family, I would just keep finding any and every excuse possible to justify it. But so. And so does it, too. But I still got a job, so it can't be that bad. I haven't gotten in this type of trouble yet, so it can't be that bad. I'm depressed. I'm anxious. I got anxiety. I need this. It's my medication. Like anything that would possibly come to mind to use as a valid excuse, I used. And one of the problems is a lot of them can sound somewhat valid, unfortunately, both to my own brain and to the outsider. It's like, you know, I know a lot of people do it with marijuana. Like, I need it. It's my medication. It's better than an antidepressant for me. Maybe they're right. I don't know. But I also know some people that use that as a justification to just keep smoking pot all day, every day. I did that with dope, alcohol, you know, painkillers. I got hurt in college football, so I told for years I would tell everybody, I need the oxy. It helps with my neck pain from the. You know, from getting my head crushed down and blasted in. But the amount of oxy I was taking was the doctor I saw here in Rochester, a family friend said, I don't give that to my cancer patients. You don't need anything that high, period. I found any and every justification known to mankind. And in prison, I justified it all. Because I'm in prison. I'm in the stressful place. It sucks. There's fights. People are getting stabbed. I got to get out to escape reality. That's how my whole tornado of addiction went. Just more and more and more justifications to keep justifying the previous drug use. And then whatever damage I caused, then I'd find a different reason to justify that to spiral of misery. You know, I fight with my family and get in a big argument with them. Because of that, I end up isolating myself and separating me from them more. Because of that. I feel guilty and shamed because of that. I use drugs to escape my emotions. Because of the drugs. My family argues with me more, and it's this circle and circle and circle. So that's how I justified my drug use.

Okay, pro tip here. If you're dealing with a loved one who's struggling with these type of justifying rationalizing behaviors, you want to avoid arguing with them. I know some of these justifications just don't make a lot of sense to you but if you try to come at them and attack them head on, they're just going to come up with more justification justifications and rationalizations. One of those being I have to keep doing it because you're such a big jerk ball. So as I always say, don't let them put you in the bad guy role. Now if you're watching this video for yourself and you notice that you have some of these patterns of thinking as well are these truths and maybe there is a little truth to some of them but if you back up and look at the bigger picture, does your logic make sense? Now if you want to hear more from Sober Leon and Kyle from Sober Dogs, make sure and check out the description below. But up next, a more in depth video to help you understand the psychology of someone struggling with addiction.