YouTube video (part 1 of a 5-part series) by Amber Hollingsworth, a master addiction counselor, explaining how addicts and alcoholics may ‘hide behind’ or attribute their substance use to mental health problems as a form of manipulation or self-deception. The chunk includes counselor framing, clinical advice about treatment order (stabilize addiction first, then address mental-health), and several first-person testimonials describing how substance use produced anxiety, depression, withdrawal, and avoidance behaviors that looked like primary mental illness.
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In today's video, we're going to be exploring how addicts and alcoholics manipulate their families and in general, all the people around them. For those of you don't know me, I'm Amber Hollingsworth, a master addiction counselor, and I've been dealing with addicts and alcoholics for the last 15 years. So you know what that means? It means I've seen a lot of manipulation over those years. This video is actually part one of a five part series, so make sure you check out all five of those. This topic of manipulation is so big, we definitely couldn't fit it into just one video. I'm going to break down the forms of manipulation into five different categories for you. And today's category is called Hiding behind Mental Health Problems. Okay, now this is a sticky area. And make sure you stick around for the whole video because you might even get to hear some real life, personal stories. I think I'll call them expert witnesses. Okay, so the idea of mental health and addiction is a little bit of a sticky topic because it is super gray. And when I say addicts and alcoholics hide behind mental health problems, I'm not saying that they don't have mental health problems. I'm saying that they hide behind it as a way to avoid dealing with the addiction. We almost always see some form of this. For example, kids saying, I'm just smoking weed because I'm anxious. Her husband saying, I'm only drinking because I'm so stressed at work. And the worst part is family members actually play right into it. So if you're a family member and you're watching this video, listen up. The reason it's so tempting for family members to fall for this is because you're dealing with someone who, who looks like they have a lot of mental health issues. They can look like they have a personality disorder. They can look like they're bipolar for sure. And I guarantee you they're struggling with some anxiety and probably depression too.
Like, one morning after my mom found the weed, she came in there and she was like. She woke me up and she was like, chaz, I just had a realization. Like, I was running on the treadmill downstairs and, like, looked over and I saw that shirt and it just hit me. You're a drug dealer. That's your drug dealing shirt. And I was like, no, all my clothes are my drug dealing clothes.
You said that you thought that that.
Was what I was thinking. Ended up using that. They caught me smoking weed as a way to get Vyvanse and Adderall. Because I was like, I'm smoking weed because I think I have add and it helps me concentrate and like slows down my thoughts and all this. I ended up working my way up to 70 milligrams of Vyvanse and then three times a day I would take 10 milligrams of the dextrostat. So it was like the.
Plus the cocaine.
Yeah, plus the cocaine and the weed and the drinking and like, occasionally like Xanax.
So the outward symptoms really do look like mental health issues. Sometimes there are mental health issues going on in there in addition to the addiction. But don't be fooled. It is not a reason to continue abusing drugs and alcohol. Maybe they're telling you it's my only way of coping or it's the only thing that makes me feel better. I promise you, abusing drugs and alcohol may feel to the person like it helps temporarily make some symptoms better. But I guarantee you, whatever that mental health condition is, it's doing nothing but making it worse. And addicts and alcoholics, they love to let you go down this rabbit hole because it means they can get off the hook. They can get you off their back by going to visit their physician and getting a medicine prescribed. You'll be off their back for another 60 days as you wait and to see if this medicine is gonna work or not. Now sometimes addicts and alcoholics, they actively know exactly what they're doing, that they're just sort of leading you down this trail as a distraction to get you off their case for a while. And other times, addicts and alcoholics are actually just tricking themselves into believing this because it can feel like the substance when you're using it is actually making things better because you feel, feel a tiny bit of relief in the moment when you have that substance, but then you feel worse afterwards. So it feels like the drug is what is helping the symptom, when in actuality what they're feeling better from a lot of times is withdrawal from that substance. Which is exactly how people get trapped in the cycles of addiction.
Being submerged in the lifestyle of selling drugs in order to buy my drugs. I was living in a world that breeds anxiety, it breeds depression, it breeds fear, from getting mugged to, I mean, being on the cops radar, getting caught by the Georgia Bureau of Investigation, you know, it just instilled a lot of fear in me and it turned me into this recluse to this guy who was scared of the world and not just situational. I think the drugs played a big part in what Was going on in my brain as well. But, I mean, I was. For a year, I became this person who was scared to leave his apartment, who was scared to drive. I completely shut everyone out of my life. There was even a period of time where I wouldn't even look at my mom. I didn't even want to look her in the eyes. I don't know if I was ashamed of myself. I'm sure that had a part to do with it, but mostly just scared. Scared of judgment and not being good enough and being alone. I remember a time where she would have to, like, go get food for me and drop it off. And there were some days where I couldn't even open the door for her. She'd have to, like, leave it at the doorstep, and I'd look out of my blinds and wait till she left. Then as soon as she did, I would go get the food and eat. I was just that scared.
Okay, now listen. I absolutely believe that you must treat mental health conditions when treating someone that has an addiction issue. They go hand in hand. And oftentimes it is an underlying reason why someone is continuing to use. And if you don't treat it, chances that they're gonna stay sober are about this big. So you have to pay attention to it. But you can't hide behind whatever that mental health issue is as a way to not address the addiction. Because I don't care how much counseling you get, how many medications you take, if you go to the fanciest, newest research center out there, you are not going to get better as long as you are abusing drugs and alcohol. It's very, very important, the order in which you treat these things. You have to get the addiction stabilized, and then you can get in there and address those mental health concerns. So stop going down that rabbit hole. It's not going to lead you anywhere. First things first, you've got to address that addiction. And you know, the best way to understand it is to hear it from somebody who's actually been there. And the way you describe your use to me, I mean, it's not like the high schooler experimentation or having fun in college. I mean, it was like, full out.
Totally out of control, problematic, using.
We're not talking about, like, I smoked some weed here and there. We're talking about you were. You could have definitely been diagnosed with, like, full alcohol dependence in high school.
Yeah.
Okay.
Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah.
But no one, really. If your parents were here and I interviewed them about it, what would they say?
We did not know what to do. With that kid.
Okay. So do you think they knew something was up? They just didn't know what?
Yeah.
Okay.
Because.
I think towards the end. Yeah. By like, senior year in college, I'd end up in a psych ward every eight months or once a year or something.
That's a pretty good sign.
Yeah. Okay. And then I got medicated and try to take that regularly drinking with ketchup.
And so your family and your friends just thought you were depressed?
Yeah.
Yeah. Is that what you thought, too?
Oh, yeah, for sure.
Okay.
And there's no anxiety, like waking up in the morning after, like, 712 days of heavy, heavy drinking.
Oh, your mind is going crazy.
Nobody's gonna tell me that I'm not anxious because I'm about to, like, flip out, you know?
Right. Coming out of your skin.
Sure.
Okay.
And then also, it's like, I'm gonna make you. You don't understand my pain, so I'm gonna educate you.
You definitely are gonna want to check out Andrew's story because this was exactly the case in his situation. And you can see, see how Andrew's alcoholism got worse and worse and worse and how he hid behind the mental health concerns, which is exactly what was keeping him sick. It wasn't until he addressed the addiction that you could even have a chance at dealing with his depression and anxiety. So make sure you watch Andrew's video because it's the perfect example of exactly what I'm talking about. And don't forget, this is only part one of a five part series. If you want to make sure addiction doesn't destroy your life or your family, make sure you're subscribed and hit the bell. And I'll make sure you have the tools, strategies, and supports to pull that off.
