Amber Hollingsworth (speaker) explains that addiction is a disease that develops in four stages (experimentation; heavy use; consequences with bargaining; dependency) and cautions loved ones not to wait for end-stage signs. Key indicators of a problem include inability to stop once started, repeatedly breaking promises to cut down, continuing use despite negative consequences, and bargaining/switching substances as a form of self-limitation. Hollingsworth emphasizes early intervention — problems caught in earlier stages are easier to treat and may avoid long inpatient stays.
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So your loved one has substance abuse problem. How bad of a problem do they have? How bad is it? That's what this video is about. First thing I want you to understand is that addiction is a disease and it happens in stages, just like any other thing, like cancer, like any other illness. And it's sort of varies in severity and in stage there's actually four stages to addiction. And I explain all those in another video. But the first is like experimentation and the second is like heavy use. And the third is like the consequences come in and I start bargaining, trying to cut back, but it's not working. And then the last stage is like dependency, like I gotta use or I'm gonna be sick. That's what most people think about when they think about what an alcoholic is or what an addict is. And that's kind of unfortunate to. Because that's like trying not to catch cancer until it's terminal. Okay. So don't think that just because a person doesn't like wake up and drink or use every morning that they don't have a problem. In fact, if you're waiting to that point, I'm telling you that's like end stage addiction. That's like waiting until end stage cancer. Like, that's the problem with addiction is that most people really think that it makes living under a bridge with a brown paper bagging. Yeah, that's where it can end up. That's definitely addiction. But there's a lot of stuff that happens before that point. And the sooner you catch this problem, the better. A better way to sort of recognize the issue is the person has trouble stopping once they start. So it's like once the floodgates open, is really hard to get them closed back. Whether that's with drinking or using. So if it's like I keep promising myself I'm only going to do this much, but I keep doing more than that. That's a really good indicator that there's some sort of problem going on. The fact that a person keeps using even though there's paying a lot of consequences for it, like it's causing them a lot of grief in some areas of their life. That's an indicator that there's a problem. Other than that, how bad is the problem? If you're the loved one and you're watching this, then I'm gonna tell you how bad it is. It's worse than what you think it is because any family member had come see me. Whatever it is they've caught or they know about is like the tip of the Iceberg. Because, come on, you're not gonna get caught with everything that you do. At least surely not. You're not that horrible of a drug addict or alcoholic. So they're getting by with a bunch that you don't know about. You may know about a lot, but there's more. Okay, so it's probably worse than you think, and it's definitely probably worse than they think. But it still doesn't mean that a person has to be using every day. Or people say, like, I'm not drinking in the morning, I'm not alcoholic, I drink every day after work, or whatever. It's not about what you're using and it's not about how much you're using. It's about the fact that you can't manage your use the way you want to. It means bad things keep happening to you because of your drug or alcohol use and you keep doing it anyway. It means you keep promising yourself or your parent or your girlfriend or your spouse or whatever that you're gonna do less and you do good for a while, but then you mess it up again and it just keeps coming back. It just keeps coming. The other thing I tell people is if you're questioning whether or not you have a drug or alcohol problem, you probably do. Because people that don't have drug or alcohol problems don't stop to say, hey, I wonder if I'm drinking too much. Just doesn't really occur to you. So if you're doing. If your loved one is doing a lot of trial and error and they're trying to stop, or they're trying to switch substances, or they're saying, I'm not going to drink hard liquor anymore. I'm just going to drink beer, I'm not going to do cocaine anymore. I'm just going to smoke weed or whatever it is. Those are called bargaining behaviors. And only people with problems really do bargaining behaviors. So how bad is it? Probably worse than you think and worse than they think. But it still doesn't have to be end stage. If you're meeting any of those criteria, now's the time to get help. Yes, you can be in stage four and you can be dependent and you can be like where you have to have it or you're gonna get sick and that happens and definitely get help. But don't wait until your loved one or to yourself is to that point. Because I'm telling you, if you're in one of those earlier stages, it's going to be easier to get under control. You probably can get it under control without having to go away to long stints of rehab inpatient. So take action now. Do not think that just because you're not living under a bridge that you don't have this problem. If you're making promises to yourself and you're breaking them, and you've done that more than once, you probably got something going on.
