How Do Drug Addicts Think

What the heck are they thinking? That's exactly what we're going to cover. In today's video, I'm going to explain in detail how people addicted to drugs and alcohol think. We're going to delve into the psychology of addiction, and I want you to pay close attention, because if you have a loved one with a drug or alcohol problem, you absolutely have to understand the nature of the beast. When people say you're powerless and you can't do anything, that's because you're trying to interact with your loved one and you're trying to play by the normal universal laws. Well, those don't apply anymore. And in this video, I'm going to explain exactly why. Hey. If you're new to this channel, I'm Amber Hollingsworth, master addiction counselor, and it's my job to make sure you stay five steps ahead of addiction at all times. So if that's something that you need to do, subscribe to this channel and hit the bell so you don't miss a thing. Okay, we are gonna break down the thinking process of people addicted to drugs and alcohol in three separate levels. Have you guys seen that movie Inception? You know, when they go in, like, levels, deep dream levels, they keep going down. We're going down three levels today, so you might want to get your pen and paper out. The very first thing I want you to understand about the psychology of addiction really starts with the biology of addiction. Because what happens when you are dependent on a substance, it keeps you stuck in a real primitive survival part of your brain. Now, most of you probably have taken a psychology class in college or high school, and you might have even learned about this thing called Maslow's hierarchy of needs. It's this pyramid, and Maslow talks about how you have various needs, and some are at the base of the pyramid, and some are at the top of the pyramid. And you can't move on to your next level until you satisfy the base, base level of needs. Now, at the bottom of Maslow's hierarchy of needs are things that have to do with safety. If you're not physically safe in a situation, it's going to be really hard for you to think about whether or not you're getting a raise tomorrow. You see what I mean? You got to be safe to be able to think about the next thing. If you haven't had any food to eat in two weeks, then you're probably not thinking about what your friend thinks about your new hairdo. You see, you've got to have these base needs met it's kind of like, I'm gonna worry about this if that's okay. I'm gonna worry about this if that's okay, I'm gonna worry about this. Well, in chemical dependency, you actually stay stuck down in these base level needs. So let me translate for you what that means for you. Basically, if you're interacting with an addicted person and you're wondering to yourself, like, why don't they care about their career more? Why don't they care about what people think of them? Why don't they care about their hygiene? Why don't they care about. You name it, fill in the blank. It's because they can't care about those things because they're stuck down here. The biology of the dependency makes them where they get stuck down there and they can't get any further up until they satisfy that need. Now what's interesting about this is when you're dealing with someone and they actually have their substance in them. Like if you're dealing with a person addicted to pain pills and they actually have the substance in them, then they actually think about the next thing. It's that Maslow thing at work. So if they're running steady on pain pills, then they are thinking about their grades and their career and the promotion that they want to get. But not until they've got that need met first. Same thing with alcohol, same thing with anything else. And so that might explain to you why it seems like your loved one actually on some level functions better on the substance. Because it's like, now that I've got that base need met, I can think about other things. Okay, that's level one. I hope you got your grounding coin in your pocket because we're going a little deeper. Alright? Level number two in understanding the psychology of addiction has to do with shame and rationalization. So when you're stuck down there in that bottom level of Maslow's hierarchy of needs or Maslow's pyramid, then you're constantly doing things that don't really fit with your value system. Some of those things you feel guilty over, some of those things you feel embarrassed over. And some of those things you feel flat out shameful for because you find yourself doing things that you never thought that you would do. And all of those things ultimately make us feel very shameful about ourselves. And shame is the most uncomfort human emotion that there is. Think about something for just a second that you're shameful about. I bet you feel kind of squirmy, right? You're like, let's Talk about something else. I don't blame you. And so we all have these natural defense mechanisms against shame. Let me give you a tiny little example, and maybe you can relate. So let's say you went to the mall and you went to return a T shirt or something that you got and didn't fit. And you walk by the shoe store and you're like, oh my gosh, I am in love with these shoes. You look at the price tag and it's like, super expensive. And you're like, that's really not in the budget. But then you rational, and then you buy the shoes and you feel a little bit guilty on the way home, you have that, like, buyer's remorse. Immediately you're probably going to start rationalizing that purchase. Almost like if you walk through the door and you're at home and someone says, why'd you spend all that money? Then you have a reason in the back of your head. So you start to rationalize that we all do this, all people do this. And it's not necessarily a bad thing. It's just a defense mechanism. But when you're stuck in addiction, you're making these kind of choices and engaging in these kind of behaviors that are causing you to have to rationalize, like, all the time. So it's a constant rationalization and justification and minimization of other things. And so what happens is eventually that leads you into level number three. Because once an addict has been to that point where they've been rationalizing and justifying and minimizing so often for so long, they actually get to a point where they're full out delusional. Now, if you've ever dealt with someone in late stages of addiction or alcoholism, I bet you know exactly what I'm talking about. Because it's like you're thinking, are you living in the same world I'm in? Like, you're not seeing the same view that I'm seeing. It's because this person that you're dealing with, they're really not seeing the world the same way you are for a couple of reasons. One of them goes back to that level number one, and that is that the person that you're dealing with is either operating under the influence of a substance, which totally messes with their filter and how they take in information from the world, so it messes their lens up. They don't see it the way other people see it, or they don't have the substance and they're in a little bit of withdrawal, which also messes their lens up and makes them take in information feels differently and it computes differently than it would a. So at any given point, intoxicated or not intoxicated, information is coming through a messed up lens. So they are literally not seeing the world the same way that you're seeing it now. You combine that with tons and tons and tons of rationalization, justification, minimizing, and what you have is a person that is fully delusional. I'm serious. Let me give you an example. Just last week, Campbell called me in the morning because she was really worried about one of her clients. It this girl who has stolen a bunch of jewelry from her mother because she actually got caught trying to go to the pawn shop and sell it. She got arrested, and when the parents came to pick her up, she was ticked off at them, like it's their fault, like there's something wrong with them, like they did something. And her thinking in her head is, mom, that's been in the jewelry box for 15 years. You were never gonna use it anyway. Why are you making such a big deal about it? This is literally what this girl is thinking. I had another client once, this was years ago, who had gotten a lot of trouble, had been doing a lot of bad things. So his parents had, like, shipped him out across the country to go stay with the grandparents. And then he stole a bunch of money from them, so they shipped him back home. And then the kid ended up in my office. I say he's a kid who's probably like 17 or 18. And I was asking him about the money that he stole from the grandparents, and he said, well, I mean, they have a ton of money and they would just leave cash out, like sitting on the table or on the dresser. I mean, what do they expect if they put it there? Yeah, I'm gonna take it. Delusional. Do you see what I am talking about here? It's like, what in the world. When you have that feeling inside of you and you really want to put your hands around their neck or their shoulders and shake them and say, what the heck? That's when you know you're dealing with delusional behavior. And that's why none of the regular stuff is gonna work. When you're dealing with an addict, you really gotta understand the rules of the addicted universe. Otherwise you. Everything you say and do is just gonna bounce off of them. Like they have this force field. They do. They have a force field of delusion around them and everything you do is just gonna totally bounce off. Now, if you really want to understand the Psychology of addiction. The best way to do that is to hear it from people who've been into addiction and come out the other side. Because if you listen to enough people long enough, you're going to start to see these patterns and understand what I'm telling you. Because you know what? I didn't learn this stuff in counseling school. These are things that I've lear after talking to hundreds, thousands of people with drug and alcohol problems over the course of a bunch of years. These are the patterns that I've noticed. And if you'll take just a minute and listen to these stories, you're going to see it too.

Decided that while I was doing that, like, I was gonna, like, stop doing drugs or hard drugs, I was still gonna smoke.

Why did you stop that?

Because I knew that, like, if I wanted to be, like, super successful with it, like, I was not gonna be able to continue, like, the same habit like I did.

I think I figured out if I, like, drank the first one really quickly, I start feeling good.

Okay.

And then the next one, I could kind of, like, nurse it. And then depending on how I was feeling, I could maybe grab one from the fridge downstairs or maybe, like, drink a glass of wine with dinner.

The long term treatment I went afterwards when I would break a rule because, like, that never stops.

I had a big first heartbreak there in college, and I went straight down.

The rabbit hole of that, like, to.

Deal with those emotions to what I knew. How did I deal with anxiety and fear and depression?

Drug. So your treatment center was what they call, like, a wilderness treatment? Yeah. Okay.

So, you know, I was just backpacking. That's all we did two weeks at a time. Then we come back and wash our clothes and go right back out. I loved it.

I really did.

And. And after that, I took the suggestion to live in a halfway house afterwards. It was my first experience with a halfway house, and it was great. But at the end of the day, I still had those reservations to drink.