How To Find A Good Addiction Counselor (2020)

When it comes to addiction, not just any counselor will do. Which is why in this video, we're going to talk about the top six criteria and things you need to be thinking about in order to find the very best counselor, either for yourself or for your loved one struggling with addiction or that's an early recovery. For those of you who are new to this channel, welcome. I'm Amber Hollingsworth, master addiction counselor, and you're watching Put the Shovel down, the YouTube channel dedicated to helping you understand the psychology of addiction so you can recover yourself or your loved one from addiction and get back to living the life that you want to live. And so if that sounds like something that you need to accomplish, consider subscribing. Okay, so now let's get into the list. Okay. Criteria number one that I have listed here for you is is really, really important to pick somebody that has the time in their schedule to dedicate to, give to you or your loved one to that you're going to need. I know a lot of good counselors and good psychiatrists, but if you can't get in with them in a timely manner, like it takes six weeks, eight weeks, four months to get in with somebody, and then once you do get in, you can only come and see them every three weeks or once a month because that's all the time they have in their schedule that is not going to do you any good. Because when it comes to addiction, when someone's ready to get help or talk to someone about that, that needs to happen quickly before the window closes. And if you're just meeting with someone every three or four weeks, occasionally, I'll do that just a few times with clients for maintenance. But I don't usually get into that because that's really just like catching up. And it's really awkward. You can't get any momentum that way. So definitely pick someone that has the ability to get you in in a pretty quick manner and the time to dedicate to helping you solve the problem that you want to solve. Okay, moving on to number two. Make sure that you get someone that is dual trained. And what that means is someone that's trained not just in addiction, but someone that is also trained in other kinds of mental health issues. Maybe someone's also trained in family therapy or someone that's also trained in all the other kind of mental health diagnosis that come along with addiction. Because rarely do we see someone that has an addiction problem that's not also struggling with anxiety or sleep problems or depression or some of that other stuff that comes Along. And the two things are usually top up pretty tight together. And you don't usually make progress on either one of those things, either the mental health things or the addiction, without addressing them both. Now, there is an order in which you need to do that, but that's for another video. Just know that you need someone that has the ability to talk to you about both things. Number three, look for someone who has some flexibility of thinking. And what I mean here is, I don't know why, but especially when it comes to addiction. Like, there's this sort of, like, I call it, like the conveyor but treatment system where it's like, no, this is the program, and you got to fit in this box. And if you don't fit in this box, well, you're just not willing, or you can't come to this program, or we can't help you, or come back when you're ready to do whatever it takes. You know, that kind of thinking. Because everybody is different. Addiction is the same. It's pretty predictable. Y' all know how I feel about that. But recovery is different for every single person that I've ever treated. Because you've got to have the ability to think flexibly about how to help this particular person with their certain circumstances, find their path to recovery. Flexibility. Okay, these last two are super important. Number four, personality. Maybe one of the most important things to consider might be the most important thing to consider. This is a pretty close tie, is personality. Does the personality of the counselor mesh with the client? This is so important. One of the biggest things that I try to figure out when any new person or family calls us is sure, I ask some questions about what the problem is. But honestly, the problems that come to us, they sound real similar because people come to us for a real similar problem. But what I do need to know a lot about is about the person. What's the personality like? You know, what were they like before the addiction? Because who are they going to relate to? Are they going to relate to someone that's more outspoken or someone that has more of a softer, quieter side? Who you're going to fit with is of vital importance. Because it's awkward enough to be talking to, like, a stranger person about your problems. You really need someone that you can feel safe with, build rapport with fairly quickly so you can get down to business. That personality fit is, oh, so important. Okay, number five is definitely a biggie. You need someone with experience. Now I'm going to spend a little time on what I mean by experience. Now a big issue in the land of addiction and recovery Is whether or not a person needs a counselor that is in recovery themselves. And I think there are pros and cons to that. And I'm going to take this little moment right here to tell you what I think those pros and cons might be so that you can make some decisions for yourself or to help your loved one make some decisions. Most people, a counselor that's in recovery because they feel like that counselor is going to be able to understand them. And in some ways, there is a little truth to that. I feel like people that are in recovery have a sketch eye that is slightly more developed. So sometimes a person in recovery can call out some bs pretty quickly. And I think dealing with addiction, it's important if you're a counselor dealing with addiction, that you be able to see what the truth is, is, because otherwise you're just gonna be going down all the wrong rabbit holes. But a con for having a counselor that's in recovery, and this isn't for all of them, but this happens sometimes, and I might say even frequently, Is that people in recovery Sometimes have a difficult time Detaching their experience from your experience. And so there's a tendency to project what they went through, what they did, how they thought, how they felt, what they needed, Onto the person that they're trying to help. And that can be a little bit frustrating to be sitting on the other side of. Now, I've been doing this work for a really long time, and one of the things that I do is supervise other counselors in training. And this is one of the things that I've noticed. Counselors that are in recovery themselves, they're either really awesome or really not that good because they're blocked from their own experiences. And they, more than anyone else, can get really bogged down into this whole idea of there's only one way to do things. This worked for me. This is what you got to do. I'm not opposed to that, but that's called a sponsor, which is slightly different than a counselor. But I do think that it is extremely important for you to have someone who has experience. So I feel like a better question for you to be thinking or asking is, how many people has this person helped get into recovery? That's a better question. Because just because a person's in recovery themselves doesn't necessarily mean they're going to be good at helping someone else get in recovery. Sometimes they are really good, and sometimes not so much. But that experience is essential. So what you're looking for Is experience at can you get me where I need to be? Now, I know that this is a controversial topic and people get really hot headed about it. People say no, only an addict can help another addict. Well, well, I gotta say, I don't really subscribe to that belief and to be really honest with you, I know I might get some hate comments down here about this, but part of that thinking is just a symptom of addiction. It's a way that addicts and alcoholics want to disqualify listening to the advice of someone else. And they'll do it no matter what. If you're a counselor in recovery and you're dealing with an addict or alcoholics, like oh well, you're not in recovery from meth, you don't understand me, or oh well, you're not in recovery and have three kids, you don't understand what it's like to be a mom in recovery. You know, it's like a constant. It's like you can go to a meeting and they're constantly disqualifying. So that thing of no, I've got to have this person or you don't understand me, or you don't know me honestly is symptomatic of the problem. And even if you're dealing with a counselor, coach or whatever, this in recovery, that addict thinking will try to disqualify that, well, you're too young, well, you're too old, well, you got in recovery 20 years ago and it's not the same anymore. You know, there's a constant reason to disqualify. So I would not use any of those excuses as who can and can't help you. You're looking for someone that's got some experience and knows how to get you from point A to point B. Okay, and this last one here is a little bonus for you. If you really want to have someone that's going to be the most effective and really be able to help someone get, stay and maintain recovery, you really need someone who can help you address the family issues. Because it's not just about getting a person clean and sober. It's about healing all the trust and the wounds and all that mess that's going on within the family. Because if you don't address that, then the whole family system will continue to fall apart even if a person's trying to get better. And I hate to say it, but oftentimes we'll suck that person back down into the chaos just because it's the norm. And if you don't deal with all that damage that's been caused, it's just gonna be really hard for someone to maintain their recovery. Okay, now that you know how to select a really awesome addiction counselor, the next thing you need to understand is when is addiction counseling appropriate? Because there are times in the recovery process where it is appropriate and where it's not gonna be so helpful. So, in order to help you understand that, I've created an entire playlist on understanding addiction treatment options. Now, I'll be really honest with you here. It's not the most exciting stuff that I talk about, but it is very, very important. The reason is because if you. Because if you guess wrong, this may be your last shot at this. And if you guess wrong, you're probably gonna waste a ton of money and a ton of time chasing all the wrong leads. So please, please, please educate yourself about what the options are and know how to select the best option for you. Now, in addition to that playlist on understanding addiction treatment options, there's a link in the description below for a guide that I personally wrote to help levels of care, all the different kinds of treatment. It includes, you know, what you need at what time, how much it costs, how to find it, pros and cons of each kind of treatment, all the information that you need. You can get it for free. Just click the link in the description below.