Amber Hollingsworth (host, ~20 years helping families affected by addiction) explains how to help a loved one enter treatment. Core message: "little moments of clarity" — brief windows (she states about an hour to two days) when a person may agree to get help — require immediate action. Prepare multiple, appropriate treatment options ahead of time (consider co-occurring serious mental illness, age-specific programs) and act as the "sweeper" to remove barriers and quickly connect the person to staged, continuing levels of care (example cited: Greenville Transitions for men 18–30). The video also points viewers to a downloadable treatment-options guide in the description.
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Even though it feels like it takes forever for someone to decide that they want to change and that they're willing to take action steps and all that kind of stuff, when it happens, it happens quickly. I call it little moments of clarity. And normally those little moments of clarity kind of happen after something kind of crappy has happened, and the person starts thinking a little more clearly about the situation. And during that time, they are ready and willing to make changes and even willing to get some help. If you wait until that very moment to start finding the right kind of treatment options, you've waited too long, because those little moments of clarity don't last very long. And fact, they last somewhere between an hour and two days max. So you don't have the time to start scurrying around and figuring all this out. Once they've made the statement, go ahead and do this now. And that way, if and when they get ready, you're ready. When your loved one says, I'm ready and willing to do this, you need to act as quickly as absolute possible. For those of you who are new here, I'm Amber Hollingsworth. I've been helping people and families with addiction for, like, 20 years now. I know that's a long time, right? And I've learned a lot over that big, long time, most of it the hard way. But that's why I started making these videos, so you can benefit from all those years of me learning the hard lessons. Today's lesson is all about helping your loved one get connected to the right kind of help. Now, I know a lot of people out there will tell you that they need to make the phone calls and they need to find the place and they need to get admitted and all that kind of stuff. But I disagree. And here's why. You see, when you have a person who's in active addiction, especially if they're in it far enough to need, like, a higher level of care, like inpatient treatment or even intensive outpatient treatment, they probably don't have the focus and the resilience that they need to make 100 phone calls to treatment centers and insurance companies and finding out what the rules are and how long the waiting list is, all that stuff, because to be honest, that'll send pretty much anybody over the age. And if you're battling an addiction and you're trying to get sober, I'm telling you, you probably just don't have that kind of willpower and impulse control. So even if you don't think your loved one is close to being willing to get Help or even go to treatment. I still want you to start looking into options. Now, when your loved one says, I'm ready and willing to do this, you need to act as quickly as absolute possible. You know, the vision in my head I have when I think about this, it's like that game curling. I had to look at what that's called, but it's like where they put those big rocks on the ice and they try to slide it down the ice into like these circle target things. Well, they have these people in curling called sweepers, apparently, and they have like this broom thing and they're sweeping away in the direction that they want the rock to go, as in they're clearing the path and leading the way to get them to the target. That is what I want you to imagine in your mind. Your job is to be the sweeper. Yes, they have to go and they're gonna to do the work, but you can help clear the path and make it as smooth and frictionless as possible. When your loved one gets ready, they might be willing to talk to a counselor, but they may not be willing to like go to an inpatient program. So you need to have several kinds of options available. And if you're not sure what all the options are, I'm going to put a link in the description so you can download my free treatment options guide, which just tells you all about the different kinds of levels of care, what insurance pays for typically and what it doesn't, how much things cost, free treatment options, community supports, all of that stuff. Broad overview, understanding about what's available to you. Now, after figuring out like the levels of treatment kind of thing, then you need to start thinking more about what specific kind of treatment might be the most helpful for my loved one. And there are different factors that come into play here. Like if your loved one has a pretty serious mental illness along with an addiction, then you're going to want to find a treatment program that's tailored to that. Now, most treatment for addiction will include things like depression, anxiety, sleep issues, stuff like that, adhd. But if it's a more serious significant mental health problem, like schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, anything with psychosis happening, then you may want a more specialized treatment for that. Other things to think of are things like how old someone is, are you dealing with a middle aged professional person, are you dealing with a college student? Like, for example, if you're looking for treatment for a young man between the ages of 18 and 30, then you may want to look at Greenville Transitions or at least a program like Greenville Transitions. Now, some of you may have heard me talk about Greenville Transitions before. That's because I'm a really big fan. The reason I'm such a really big fan is because it is that specialized approach. They specialize in helping young men learn how to live life clean and sober and become young adults. So that means that their programs include things like how to have fun, exercise, getting out in nature, learning to be responsible, holding down a job, all the stuff that young men need to learn how to do. Not just to stay sober, but to live happy, healthy lives. The other thing that's really good about their program that you're going to want to look for in any type of program is that they have multiple levels and stages. So it's not like, okay, you're all the way in, in this intensive of treatment and then we just send you home. That does not work. So like at Greenville Transitions, for example, they have like an initial stage where you pretty much don't go anywhere where there's not a staff member. And then they kind of like let the rope out a little bit at a time so that you take on more and more responsibility and you have more and more freedom. I can't emphasize enough how important the learning how to live clean and sober. Yes, you can send anyone to locked up treatment somewhere and they're going to be clean and sober and they will get better. You'll be able to tell you visit your loved one. You're like, oh my gosh, there they are. They're so much better. They're so great, great. Can't wait to have you back home. And then you bring them back home. Guess what happens? Yeah, you guessed right. It's not good. They fall back into old patterns. And it's not because the treatment wasn't good, it's not because they didn't mean it. But it's really important to have these levels and stages in any kind of really good plan or program. Now, if you do happen to be looking for treatment for a young man, I will put the link in the description for you to learn more about Greenville Transitions. I'm giving you them as an example so that you can understand what kinds of treatment you're looking for, what kind of questions that you want to ask. You definitely want to go ahead and be making these calls and don't be surprised if you finally think that your loved one is there and then you mention some of these options and they don't say yes right away. It feels to me like sometimes when someone really starts getting ready, I call it circling. Like, I can tell they're really close, and I don't know if it's gonna happen today or next week or in two weeks, but I know it's about to happen. You can really feel when someone's energy is getting there, and that's when you need to make sure these things are in place. Because it's kind of like when you're pregnant and you're close to nine months. It's like you don't know exactly when the baby's coming, but you know it's coming soon. When you feel that circling thing happen, it is time to have those ducks in row. Because a lot of times it's like they're fighting it. They're resisting, they're fighting it. And then all of a sudden, they're just like, okay, fine, I'm ready. And they just sort of give up. Because in the back of their mind, they've known that they needed to do that. They've tried to do it without having to do that. They're resisting it for all different kinds of reasons. And they finally just are like, okay, I'm ready, and you need to go. I say don't pass go. Don't collect $200. Go directly from where you're at to there as smoothly and as quickly as possible. Remember, think about those little sweepers in the curling game. Remove all the roadblocks and clear the path.
