Amber Hollingsworth breaks down red light behaviors in recovery: victim talk, gaslighting, attacks, lies, refusing to listen, lecturing. When you spot them, exit quietly with a simple excuse like a forgotten meeting rather than engaging the conflict.
So there are clear green lights and there are red lights. So the red lights are pretty easy to see, but we fall victim into engaging with them. And those are when we hear any victim talk, when they are gaslighting us, when they're attacking us, when we fall into the whole, like, are they telling the truth? Are they not telling the truth? If they're not listening, if we're lecturing, these are red lights. These are signs that you should absolutely Figure out a way to disengage from the conversation. And I like to not just say, hey, I'm not talking to you because you're being a toad, but more say, I totally forgot I was meeting Jane for coffee and I have to run. I'm running into a meeting right now and I'm going to have to talk to you later. Something like that so that you don't add more fuel to these red lights.
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