A short YouTube talk by Amber Hollingsworth (master addiction counselor, 20+ years) explaining how to tell if someone is truly in recovery. Hollingsworth identifies three concrete signs—connection (to others and purpose), creativity (engaging problem-solving/creation), and contribution (serving others)—and contrasts true recovery with mere abstinence ("dry drunk"). The video closes with subscription/engagement prompts and a preview.
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By the end of this video, you're gonna know for sure if you or your loved one is solidly in recovery. Because I'm going to show you the three for sure signs that someone's actually doing the work. I mean, more than just abstaining from an addictive behavior. I mean, a person is in recovery. They're healing, they're growing, they're doing the work. For those of you who are new here, I'm Amber Hollingsworth. I'm a master addiction counselor, and I've been helping people and families for over 20 years now. And I've taken all that knowledge over those 20 years and poured it into this YouTub channel. So you will always be five steps ahead of addiction. It's my goal to help people before they lose everything. That's right. You do not have to hit your bottom in order to find recovery. In fact, you hit your bottom when you put your shovel down. And you can decide exactly when that is. Which means you do have power and control over your own life and your own destiny. Maybe you've heard of the term dry drunk before. For those of you who haven't, basically what it means is it means someone isn't drinking or using drugs or whatever their addiction is, but they're not recovery. I gotta be honest, a lot of times I hear family members use this term to describe any little behavior that their loved one does that they don't like. They'll say, oh, that's an addictive behavior, or, oh, they're just dry. And maybe sometimes there's some truth in that. But the thing of it is, we all have character defects, whether we're in recovery or we're not in recovery. So how do we know what behaviors are addictive behaviors, and what behaviors are just normal human beings with flawless behaviors? And how in the world do we define what recovery is? No worries, because this video is going to put an end to all that controversy. Now, you may have heard me say before that connection is the cure for addiction. And that's very much true. It's actually one of the three very solid signs that someone's in recovery. But it's not just connection. There are actually two more. But first, let's take a look at what I mean when I say the word connection. Of course it means what you think it means. As far as I feel connected to my family, I feel connected to my friends. You know, like I feel connected to other people. Why is that so important? Well, as human beings, we're wired to connect. And when we don't have that connection, we begin to get sick, we actually deteriorate. We get depressed, we get anxious, like not good things happen. And the more and more we move towards addiction, the less and less capability we have for connection. So when a person is able to connect to others on a real level, that is a sure, solid sign that recovery is happening. But connection is more than that. You also need to have a connection to your own sense of purpose. You need to have a connection to that inner voice that's trying to guide your life and tell you very important information. Now, when you're in active addiction, you can't hear that little voice at all, because it's drowned it out by all those little addictions. Addictive monster mouths. Constantly talking to you. Planning, scheming, lying, tricking you, making you feel bad, making you feel good. All the little monster mouths. You guys have seen the video. You know what I'm talking about. And if you haven't seen the video, I'll link it right up here just in case. Now, as I said before, connection isn't the only sign. The next sign is creativity. Another thing that human beings are wired to do is we're wired to be creative, which is very different than any other animal on the planet. Sure, other animals can be creative, and sometimes they can even solve problems. But humans have a capacity for this that is far beyond anything else in this natural world. And we're meant to use that ability. It's part of what fuels our spirit. Have you ever known someone who is just stuck in a job where they just had to do the same thing over and over and over again? Kind of like a factory job or something, where they just didn't have any ability to use any problem solving skills or be themselves in any kind of way? You know how much that kills your spirit? It's because we're designed to be creative. Now, a lot of people, when they hear me say that word, they think, well, I'm not an artist. Like, I can't paint and stuff. And sure, creativity can be in that kind of art, like sculpting and painting and even pinteresting, as I like to call it. But there are many ways you can be creative. Basically, it's like when your brain is activated and you get to creatively solve problems. You get to build something, you get to create something, direct something, produce something, Put new ideas together in a way that they haven't been before. That process fuels your soul. And when you're in active addiction, there is absolutely no room for creative problem solving and creation. Because 100% of your energy is over here, focused on chasing some kind of substance or behavior or thing that always leaves you feeling worse than before you started. And the third really important aspect of recovery is contribution. Because not only are we made to connect and create, we are made to contribute. And we need to feel like we are contributing, like our life matters in some way somehow to other people, other than just ourselves. That can be contributing to your family, that can be contributing to the world in some way, that can be contributing to your business, your job. Maybe you're a teacher. You. You do something that contributes to the world, to someone other than yourself, because it gives you such a strong sense of pride and accomplishment. When you have connection, creativity, and contribution going, you have such a great flow of brain chemicals. You are going to be so much happier. Literally, the thought of going back to your addictive behavior is like, so far away because you're so happy and fulfilled just exactly the way that you are. If you're going through life and you're depressed and you're anxious and something's wrong and you're not feeling right, whether you're addicted or not, and you're not sure what to do about it, I would look to one of these three categories. Is one or more of these out of whack? If so, it's going to leave you with that feeling that something's missing, that something's not right. In order to feel whole and spiritually connected, you need all three of these things firing regularly and consistently. Now, if you found this video helpful for yourself or you're thinking about a loved one and you're not subscribed to this channel, I invite you to do so. Being subscribed will help make sure that you get access to all the content that I create, but it will also make sure that other people get access to this content. Sends a signal to YouTube and to Google that says, hey, this is important information. Maybe you should show it to people. So make sure you hit that subscribe button, and if you're already subscribed, as always, just hit the like button again. It's another signal that will allow this really important information to reach the people who need it. Up next, more on how to build a life in recovery that you will absolutely love.
