How To Know If Your Addicted Loved One Is Just Using You?

Now, sometimes it's more obvious than others when an addict or an alcoholic is using you. So you kind of got like this nice guy mask and this bad guy mask. And it may look like the bad guy is the only one that's in it for themselves and that they're totally selfish and don't care about anyone else. But this mask over here can be exactly the same way. It just is prettier. It just looks nicer, but doesn't mean it really is nicer. It's actually just a slightly more effective technique. Why is she wearing a mask? Here are four signs that an addict or an alcoholic is just plain using you. You see, the sad truth of it is, is that as addiction progresses and goes along, the addicted person has less and less and less ability to put anyone else's needs first. Now, when they're earlier in the process, in those stages that you might think of or refer to as like a functional alcoholic or a functional addict, they have more ability to care about other people and actually put their needs ahead of theirs. So they sometimes, but probably not consistently. Basically what has to happen for them to do that is it's like they gotta have their gas tank full, meaning they have to have the substance in the right amount so that that calms down that part of their brain where they're constantly chasing the substance. So when they have just enough and they're sort of leveled out, then they can care about other things because they can stop chasing it. But it doesn't last very long because they got to get back on the chase. That's the whole thing about addiction. Now, I really do want you to know it's not because that people that have addictions are inherently selfish, bad people or bad morals or just want to take advantage of you. That's not really it at all. It's just that the addiction puts you in that state. Doesn't matter who you are, if you are addicted, it's going to put you in that state. Don't think I'm an evil person. It's going to eventually put you in that survival zone. It's going to make it very, very hard to consistently put other people's needs ahead of yours or even balance their needs with yours. Now, sometimes it's more obvious than others when an addict or an alcoholic is using you. But it's not always obvious. And the reason for that is because as part of having an addiction, you have to get really good at manipulating your environment. And that manipulation can take various different types of forms. Sometimes people manipulate by being charming and charismatic and seeming very caring and concerned and all that kind of stuff. And that's the way they're manipulating. Sometimes people manipulate by being demanding to get with they need or throwing a fit or emotionally blackmailing or making you feel guilty if you don't give them what they want. So you kind of got like this nice guy mask and this bad guy mask and it may look like the bad guy is the only one that's in it for themselves and that they're totally selfish, don't care about anyone else. But this mask over here can be exactly the same way. It just is prettier, it just looks nicer, but doesn't mean it really is nicer. It's actually just a slightly more effective technique. And what you're usually going to find is that people will play the nice mask until the nice mask doesn't anymore and then the bad guy mask comes out. Put a little mask emoji in the comments below if you know what I'm talking about. But just in case you're having a hard time really figuring out, Are they just using me? Do they care about me? Here are four things that might help make it a little bit clearer. Number one, they mostly always avoid you, which kind of looks like they only come around or call when they need something. Every time you want something from me, you interlock your fingers. Number two, when they do show affection, care and concern towards you, it feels very, very insincere and kind of icky. Like you just know deep down inside like that you're both playing this game with each other and it feels fake and you don't really like it. Stop playing games. Just tell me right now. Number three, they never really make attempts to return the favor like give back the money that they borrow or help you out with something when you need help or give you the ride to the airport or help you take care of your kids or do any of those other things like you do for them. It seems like it's a one way street of a relationship. Now. Number four is going to be very black and white. There's no maybe sort of kind of around this one. If the person is stealing from you, they are definitely using you. They are using you. Raisuli. This means that their addiction has gotten to a point where they are in that state of desperation. I mean deep down inside they, they may have the feeling of caring about you, but they can't really behave in a consistently caring way towards you. But now if you want to understand more about this survival, desperate dysregulated state of addiction and why people that have addictions are hurtful to other people. I want you to watch this video next. It's going to add a lot more clarity for you.