Is Addiction A Choice, a Disease, or a Moral Failing?

Is addiction a choice? Is it a disease? Or is it a moral failure? Well, guess what, people? It's all three of those things. And I'm going to explain to you exactly why it's all three of those things. But guess what? It's mostly choice. How many of you are surprised to hear me say that? Some of you may be the. Before you get all crazy and lose your mind and click off of this video, at least stick around and listen and then make a decision for yourself what you think after you. After you hear that. Now, this whole idea that addiction is a disease. Let's talk about where it comes from and why we have this idea. And it's not wrong. It's just not the complete answer. You see, the reason they call addiction is a disease is because when you engage in addictive behavior, whether it's a substance or behavior like gambling or shopping or anything, you do it long enough and your brain actually changes. And not for the better, I would say. And so because of that, because you can actually measure these brain changes, because you can actually see these brain changes under, like, fancy scan machines, we know that it causes actual biological shifts in your brain and in your body. And that's why we call it a disease. Now, the first guy to start calling it a disease was this guy named Jelinek. I remember learning about him in counseling school. And the reason why Jelinek's disease model was so important at the time it came out was because it's this model that allowed for insurance companies to be able to say, this is a medical problem. Maybe this should be a covered service. Now, that was very important as far as making help treatment options accessible to people. So for that reason, I'm a big fan of the disease model. And I also really like how the disease model explains why you see certain behaviors when it comes to addiction, why people that have addiction make choices the way that they make, because there are biological explanations for that. However, I think that there's some missing pieces when it comes to just calling an addiction a disease. Here. Here's one of the kind of gaps in that story. Yes, when you engage in addictive behavior, your brain changes. But guess what? Your brain changes if you go outside and run a lap, your brain changes. If you decide to meditate every day, your brain changes when you're a teenager. Your brain changes when you get infatuated with someone. Those last two things, I being a teenager or being infatuated with someone, those are actually almost the exact same changes that your brain does as when it's Addicted. Now, we don't call those things diseases, right? We know that the brain changes. We know that teenagers think a certain way. We know that their impulse control is different. We know that their choice making is different. But we don't really call it a disease because it's kind of a phase that we all go through, right? We recognize that there's some brain differences there, but we don't necessarily call it a disease. So we. One of the kind of holdbacks to the idea of calling addiction to disease is the idea that yes, there are those brain changes, but those kinds of brain changes happen in a lot of different situations that we don't necessarily call a disease. Now, the idea of calling it a disease is positive in another way. Another way that it's positive is that it allows people to be able to say, I have this problem without feeling like the horrible, most terriblest person on the planet. Which is extremely important. Because in order for people to get better from this thing, they have to be able to admit that they have this thing that literally they call that step one. I have this problem, right? And if. If your shame gets in the way of that, then we have a major roadblock. So that's another reason why people continue to sort of prescribed to the idea that addiction is a disease. And part of the sort of destigmatization of addiction and part of the removing the shame of getting help is this idea of moving away from the idea that addiction is a choice or a moral failing. And I'm a fan of the destigmatization, and I'm a fan of the removing the shame. And I'm a fan of having insurance companies be able to help people get access to the help they need. But there's a lot of choice involved with addiction, a lot of it. Hang on, I'm going to explain. And even worse than that, there's some moral failure that goes on with addiction. Here's what I think addiction is. And for those of you who don't know me, I'm Amber. I am a master addiction counselor. I've been doing this kind of work for coming up on 20 years now. I've had tons of education on it. I've helped hundreds of thousands of people. And this is what I've conclusion I've come to. Other people come to different conclusions. It's all good. We're all on the same team. Doesn't matter. But I think addiction is a choice that we make. It's. Well, excuse me, it's not a choice we make. It's A thousand choices that we make. It's a thousand choices that we make that then leads to brain changes that then leads to moral failure. Because the brain changes that occur impact our ability to make moral decisions and behave in a manner that is consistent with our values. So it's not that we get this problem because we don't have morals, but more that this problem will cause a moral issue. Are you guys following me? Addiction is mostly choice. Now I know that that can sound off putting to people and it may even sound offensive. So just hang in there and let me explain. People say, well, you don't. No one chooses to be addicted. 100 agree. Thousand percent agree. No one chooses to go out and get in a car accident either, right? If I got in a car accident. Lots of people get in a car accident. But a lot of times people choose to speed. People choose to try to get through yellow light after it just turned red, right? And they get into a car accident. We don't say that those people chose to be in a car accident, but there were some choices that were made along the way. Let's talk about what those choices are. For the most part, people choose to engage in some kind of substance use that, that they know very well. Could be problematic that you grew up your whole life being told by your mama and your daddy and your family, at least your teachers are somewhere along the way that it's a bad idea and you shouldn't do it and you chose to start it. Like maybe you chose to drink alcohol. That doesn't make you a bad person. Most people make that choice at some point, right? I'm not saying it makes you a bad person. I am saying that there's choice involved. And I know what you're thinking right now. You're out there thinking, you're thinking, what about those people who got put on pain pills and now they're addicted? This really. This might cost me some subscribers. I hope it doesn't, but it probably will. Even the people who got put on some kind of pain medicine because they had, maybe they got in a car accident and they got put on a pain medicine. They weren't. They didn't make the choice necessarily to have to need that medicine. But even taking that medicine, if you're an adult or above 15 years old, we'll say that then somewhere along the way of taking that medicine, you decided you liked it and you decided to take extra of it and you decided it might work better even than it normally works if you snored it. And you decided somewhere along the way, let me get some extra from my buddy, right? You may not have made the initial decision, but you made some decisions along the way. Now, you can be prescribed pain medicine and never make any of those decisions and take it just exactly like your doctor prescribes. And you may become physically dependent on it, but that doesn't really make you addicted. The addicted part comes in the thinking. It's the obsessiveness. It's the sneakiness. It's the wanting it more and more. The planning, the scheming, the thinking. Anyone who struggle with addiction, y' all know what I'm talking about. It's not the substance. It's not the behavior. It's the obsession about the substance. It's the obsession about the behavior that is the actual addiction. It's the thinking process, not the thing that makes it addiction. And so if you got addicted to pain pills along the way, you know, you made some choices, okay, there were some choices, some lines you cross, some decision not to say something to your doctor about, hey, I think my tolerance is getting really high on this. Hey, I think I like this too much. You made a choice somewhere along the way. You make people make a choice, regardless of the substance, to do it excessively. You make the choice to hide it from other people. You make the choice to blame and redirect anytime someone says something to you about it. You make the choice to not take the steps to get better. You make the choice to not listen to what counselor told you or your treatment center program told you, or your sponsor told you or your mama told you, Right? You make the choice. You make the choice to not cope with the problems you're having in life. You make the choice to hide from situations. You make the choice to put yourself in bad situations. You make the choice to convince yourself after you've been sober for six months that this time's gonna be different. There are thousands and thousands of choices that go into addiction. It's not a choice. There's no one choice that's going to make you addicted. It's a thousand choices. Some people say, well, what about, you know, like, there's some drugs and they're just so addictive, if you use them one time, you're addicted. Not really. Not really. People say, well, what about heroin? Or what about meth? By the time you're using heroin, you are already addicted. You're not going out on the street and deciding, one day, let me just use some heroin. And it's the first day. And even if you did do that, you wouldn't necessarily be addicted. You might decide, I really like that. I think I'll do it again. I think I'll do it again and again and again. And then eventually all those choices lead to addiction. And meth is the same way. The reason people think those drugs are so much more addictive is because people tend to. Those are the drugs sort of like at the top of the ladder. So usually by the time someone is using those kind of substances, they've worked their way up the addiction ladder. So do most people who use meth or heroin get addicted to it? Yes. That's because most people were already addicted when they started using it. Does that make sense to you guys? I hope. I hope it makes some sense to you now. Why is this important? Does it really matter? Ultimately, I don't care what you call it. Ultimately, I don't care. What do I care? I care that you get better from it. You want to know why I care? This is really important because I was thinking about this as I was trying to think about my video today. You know, why is it? What's the purpose behind this video? And my first thought was, the purpose behind this video is to help people conquer addiction. And then I thought, no, it's not. It's not the purpose because I don't really care about that. The purpose is because I believe that you as an individual have a unique set of skills, gifts, and abilities that you are supposed to be bringing to the world. Every person has a unique set of skills, abilities, talents, gifts. You. There is something that you have that nobody on the planet has. Nobody on the planet before you've ever had, and no one on planet after you will ever have, only you have it. And if you are so busy engaging in addiction and you're worried about how you're going to sneak a drink behind your wife's back, then you're robbing all the rest of us of what we of what the world needs, right? And not only are you doing that, so not only is it you as an individual, why you don't need to do it, but when you do that, not only are you not fulfilling your duty to the universe to be your best self, to bring yourself into the world and give it what you're supposed to be giving it, you're impacting every person around you's ability to do that many times for generations. So when you're not living your best life, the people who care about you can't live their best life. And their kids and your kids can't live their best lives. And the chances of those people having addiction go up, right? And this goes on from generation to generation to generation. So it's not even just about getting one person clean and sober, because to me, if one person gets clean and sober, that impacts everyone that's close to them. You haven't just helped one life, you've helped all of those lives and all the people that may come into contact with that person going forward and all the people that that person is going to help with their special gift and talent going forward. Right before I hit the go live on this video, there were some of you already on here, and you guys were talking in the chat. And I saw Anthony's on here, Anthony's on here all the time. Anthony's in recovery. And Anthony was saying in the chat, he was saying about how he was involved with some legislation that has to do with parole. It was about letting people in parole live at home and. And stay home longer and how that helps. Do you see that? Do you see that is a contribution that Anthony could not bring to the world if he's out there chasing a drug, right? Whatever. That is important, right? That's not just helping Anthony. That's not just helping Anthony's family. That's helping all these people who are trying to change their lives or who are getting out of jail, out of prison. It's helping them change their lives. It's a massive impact. So the goal isn't to not drink or use. That's just like the beginning of it. The goal is to live your best life because I think you have a duty to do it. For example, you know, I'm not good at many things, right? But I know addiction. And so I consider it my duty to try to share what I know with other people because hopefully it might help somebody out there, right? And I can't do that if I'm chasing a drug. If I'm. If I'm worried about sneaking and hiding and justifying and rationalizing and. And scrounging up the money for that. I can't do this, right? And. And I believe each person out there, you got something better you should be doing. You've got something better, better way to help one person, to bring something better into the world, to make somebody's day, better to change a law, right? You've got something else better to be doing than engaging in a substance. So I don't care if you want to call it addiction or not. I don't care if you want to call it a choice or a disease or a moral failing. I've told you where I stand on it. But really, those things, they don't even matter, right? What matters is, is realizing I got better things to do, and this is not what I'm meant to be doing, because I guarantee you, it's not what you're meant to be doing. You're not put. You're not living your best life if you're chasing some substance. Now you can feel sorry for yourself and you can say, well, why do I have to have alcoholism? Other people get to drink. Why can't I be normal? That's ridiculous, right? You got better things to do. They got better things to do. Don't worry about what other people are doing. Once you stop feeling sorry for yourself and you stop chasing that thing, you make room for so much more to come into your life. You make room to give so much more. You make room to be so much more. Now, you may already be a really successful person. In fact, most of people I see in my office, they're, like, really successful. They're way more successful than I am, but they could be more successful. Because if you have an addiction, it is holding you back. There is no two ways around it. Talk to anyone who's had any addiction. You can't be your best self when you're obsessed about chasing a substance or behavior. When you're looking for pornography all day long, guess what? You're not doing anything else. When you're trying to figure out how to sneak alcohol, guess what? You're not doing anything else. You're not being creative, whatever it is that you're. Maybe you're meant to be a writer, a teacher, a mom, a dad. Maybe you're meant to be a per. A great uncle, because your nieces and nephews, they don't have anybody to look up to. Whatever it is, you got something you should be doing, it's better than that. That's why. And so ultimately, you call it what you want to call it. It's about deciding, this ain't right for me. You don't have to call it alcoholism to decide that. You don't have to call it addiction to decide that. Now, I use those terms addict and alcoholic, and a lot of people don't like to use those terms. And it's one of those things I get myself in hot water about because people get all upset about it. I use those terms because usually when people say the word addict or alcoholic, there's an automatic assumption that comes along with that label that says, I can't do this successfully. And to Be honest. Most of the reason why people don't want to use those terms, it's not because of the stigma. Let's be real. People don't want to cause themselves an addict or an alcoholic because they don't want to not engage in that behavior. And they know once they accept that they're an addict or alcoholic, they got to let it go. Totally. If I just say I drink too much sometimes, then that leaves room for, yeah, but it's okay, right? So I can still keep this in my life. If I just say, yeah, I made some bad choices along the way, but I don't want to call it addiction. What you're really doing there is you're trying to leave yourself room, wiggle room, to keep this bad habit into your life. So I choose to use those words. But you don't have to choose to use that word. You don't have to be the worst alcoholic on the planet. You don't have to be the worst addict ever to make the choice not to do it anymore. All you have to do is realize that this ain't helping me. Be my best me. I got better things to do. That's it. That's all you have to. It's all you have to know. You have to say, this is not helping me be the person I want to be. It's that simple. You don't have to be an alcoholic. All you got to do is realize that whatever the thing is, it's not serving you well, and it's not serving the people around you well, and it's not letting you be person that you want to be and that you know that you are underneath all that stuff. Now let's take a look and see who's with us in the chat. Let's hear what you guys have to say. I'm totally open to different thoughts and opinions on it. Like I said, most people we can argue about whether it's a disease or not. Who cares? We're all on the same side. We're all trying to make it better, right? You can just be. And we're just in different camps, right? Let's see who's here. I want to know what you guys have to say about all this. All right, let's see. We have Anthony. Anthony, I'm glad you're here. I hope you don't mind me using you as a little example there earlier. We have Teresa and Teresa. Before this video even started, Teresa was in the chat. She said it could be all three addictions. Anything that has control over a person look at that, Teresa. You get an A plus plus. And I hadn't even said one word yet. You knew what the answer already. I like it. Teresa says run from the areas of your weakness. Don't let your own trap. You don't get caught in your own trap. The bait will destroy you. 100Amen. Teresa. You nailed it. I love it. Let's see who else is with us today. Debbie's here. Debbie says she can't wait to hear this one. Judy is here. Judy, did you know I used to have an Angie? She was the best. I used to love to go man. JD's Anna. Anna says if it was not a disease, those addicted to substances would not have to worry about relapse for a lifetime. That's a really good point. And that's kind of one of those things of like is it is a disease. If it's not a disease, why does relapse come back? The relapse comes back because we convince ourselves of something. It's because of a choice that we make. Now, when you've had an addiction to a chemical long enough and you have those brain changes, sometimes you have to go to detox or you have to detox yourself and to make the brain changes go back. But the brain changes go back in about a week. Doesn't matter what the addiction is. In a week the brain changes are fixed. So that doesn't explain why someone goes back for a lifetime. Anna, what explains why someone goes back for a lifetime? It's a choice in there that's made a week or so back. I put up a poll on YouTube and it and I think the poll said something like, well, you know, what's the number one reason for relapse? And I can't remember exactly what choices I gave. It was like stress, not working a program, convincing yourself it could be different or people, places and things. I think those are the answers I gave. Stress can make you vulnerable to relapse. People, places and things can definitely be a trigger. Not working your program makes you vulnerable. But you know what makes you go back convincing yourself it's going to be different? It's a choice. All of those other things add up and it makes that can make it really hard not to make a choice. You know, when I say it's a choice, I'm not trying to say it's easy or it's simple. It's not an easy choice. And the longer you engage in a behavior, the more difficult the choice becomes. It's not easy by any means. I don't want to minimize it. And even if you made the 10,000 choices that got you here, it doesn't make you a bad person. We've all made 10,000 bad choices in our lives. It doesn't make you a bad person. And honestly, I think thinking of it like a choice should feel a little bit empowering. When I say it, it's not really meant to make you feel bad about it. It's meant to make you feel more empowered about it and to make you realize that you have a thousand little choices that you make. Like I said, it's not one choice. It's. It's a whole bunch of choices. And usually when someone relapses, it's a whole bunch of choices that lead you to the relapse. And so once you can identify what those choices are or were, you can help yourself not be back to that. Now, one of the things that Anna's saying that's really true about the disease part is once your brain has made those changes, if you stop the behavior of the substance, your brain kind of stabilizes back out. But if you reactivate the addicted, the addiction, like you use the substance reengage in the behavior, it reactivates the brain to go back exactly where it was. And so that's where the saying comes from. Like you, some recovery programs will say things like, once an addict, always an addict. And that's where that comes from. So I can be sober for 20 years, but if I. If my addiction was alcohol and I pick up alcohol and I drink, it's like muscle memory. Your brain remembers, and it goes back to the alcoholic state. So that part is very true. But it's also true that once you know, you never forget how to ride a bike. You've heard that same thing. Once your brain knows how to ride a bike, you get on bike, you know how to ride a bike. If you know how to swim, you can't unknow how to swim. I can't throw you into the water and tell you not to swim, because your brain is going to swim. It's going to make you swim. Because some media, it goes back to. And that's the same thing that happens with addiction. It doesn't unlearn that addictive behavior. And that's why once you have an addiction and you stabilize your brain out, there's no going back to moderation. There's no, let me do it different this time. There's no, let me, you know, see if I can just drink a couple of beers occasionally. That's why it doesn't work. Everybody tries it. That's why it doesn't work. It's because of the. The muscle memory or the brain memory. It immediately those brain changes come back. The tolerance comes back. All that stuff. I do have videos on all. If you like all that brain science, you can totally look at it. It's not that I don't believe in that. It's absolutely true. It's just there's more to the story. You got some value out of this video. And if you agree with it at least a little bit, be sure and hit the like button and do me a favor and share it with someone that you know. Because the whole goal here is, remember, it's not just to get someone to quit using drugs and alcohol. The whole goal here is to help people be their best self. Because not only does it help them, it helps everyone around them. And if we can get that momentum moving in the right direction, we can make a big step in the right. In the right direction. All right, everybody, I will catch you next Thursday at 1 Eastern. And as always, there are more resources in the description, especially if you're watching on YouTube. I'll see you then.