Amber HollingsworthRecovery Conversation Simulator, Amber's Recovery Practice Lab · Interactive learning tool trained on Amber methodoloy

It's Not Personal

21 Jun 2024 · 1 min

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Amber Hollingsworth speaks directly to family members of people with addictions, emphasizing that addictive behavior (drugs, alcohol, gambling, etc.) is not personal. She urges listeners to recognize common patterns—lying to avoid consequences, manipulating others to avoid responsibility, guilt-tripping or eliciting sympathy—and clarifies this is driven by addiction-related thinking rather than a deliberate personal attack. She also notes this does not excuse hurtful treatment or mean family members should accept being treated badly.

Chapters

If you're the family member of someone who has an addiction to drugs or alcohol, gambling, anything else, you got to understand that this isn't about you. I'm not saying it's not hurtful to you. I'm not saying you should allow someone to treat you badly. But I'm saying it's not because they think you're an idiot. It's not because necessarily they're trying to treat you crappy. It's all this addictive behavior and thinking. So it's either they're lying to you because they're trying not to get caught because they don't want to be in trouble. It's they're lying to you because they. They're trying to get away with something, like right now or later today or in the future, or they're trying to manipulate you into being okay with something they've done or not done. And it's like when they're trying to either make you feel really bad for them or when they're trying to make you feel guilty for something, that's another indicator that you're being manipulated.