Overcome Addiction By Yourself! 💪🏻

Can you overcome addiction by yourself? This is a question one of our recent viewers asked, and it's a good one, and I'm sure one that a lot of people have, which is why I'm going to tell you the answer to that question in this video. For those of you who are new here, welcome to Put the shovel down. This YouTube channel is designed to help you understand the science and psychology of addiction so you can recover your life and your loved ones and get back to living the life that you want to live. It's my job to make sure that you stay five steps ahead of addiction. Okay, back to our question. Can you overcome addiction by yourself? Well, I guess it depends on what you mean when you say by yourself. If you mean completely by yourself and you tell no one and you're going about the whole thing just completely by yourself, it's kind of a secret in your head. The answer is no, you can't do it that way. And I'm going to explain why. So keep listening. If what you mean by can I overcome addiction by myself, meaning do I have to go to treatment or something like that, the answer to that question is yes. You can overcome addiction without having to go to treatment, and you can overcome addiction without having to go to 12 step. It's not that you need a certain kind of help necessarily, or at least not in most cases, but you do need some kind of help. So let me explain to you exactly why that is and help you understand a little better. What are the critical, important ingredients that you need in order to overcome addiction. I this way, you can develop an effective plan and do this as autonomously as absolutely possible. So first, let's take a look at why you can't overcome or beat an addiction completely by yourself in secrecy. Well, the reason is this. My guess is if you're watching this video, you've probably already tried that several times. So you kind of already have a hunch inside, and you kind of already know that it really doesn't work. Right? Let me explain why. It's because when you have an addiction, you're so prone to rationalize, justify, run out of willpower, get frustrated, and it's just too easy to fall back into old behaviors when it's just a secret. So I like to say you can't recover in secrecy. And besides that, addiction really lives in the dark. It's practically like the condition that allows addiction to grow. That's how it survives, is in the darkness. So one of the first things you have to do in order to get better from addiction is turn the light on it. You see, the thing is, you can't really trust yourself when it comes to your own addiction. And I know if you look deep down inside, you kind of already know this is true. Let me tell you a funny story about how even my son, who's, like, nine years old, Already knows this. So this year, because of COVID he's in online school, all virtual school. And it has been a tough year for him and us alike. We all want him to go back to regular school. However, he's committed to doing virtual school for this whole year. And he's got a bad habit of not doing his assignments during the day, not logging on to some of his classes because he has all of his electronic devices. And he got in trouble last night for not logging on. He actually missed a test, so he was kind of in trouble. And he was getting a talking to about it. And I told him in the talking to, I said, listen, I'm gonna need you to come up with a solution to this problem, because this ain't working. And so I was going for a walk. I said, when I come back from a walk, we can sit down and talk about it. You think about what it's gonna take. So I go for my walk, I come back, and he says, okay, I have some ideas. And I said, okay, what is your ideas? And he said, well, I think. I think you're gonna have to take my devices away, because if I have them, it's just like, it's recess all day, and I just can't not like, get on my devices. I can't not play my phone or my switch or my iPad or whatever. As long as I have it there, it's just too tempting. And I found myself getting really frustrating with him. I was like, listen, I'm gonna need you to handle this problem, Because I don't want to have to be the bad guy coming and taking devices and all this. And then I started thinking to myself, I'm like, well, amber, kind of a hypocritical thing for you to say, because Your kid, who's 9 years old, is telling you, I can't manage this. I'm telling you right now that if I have these, it's too tempting. So even at nine years old, he's able to see that he really just can't trust himself necessarily to make the right decision. And as frustrating as it was for me to hear that, on the other hand, I really do kind of understand where he's coming from. So the first thing you got to do is you gotta acknowledge, can you trust yourself when it comes to this one issue? You might can trust yourself when it comes to every other issue out there, but not this one issue. And because of that, you're going to need some other kinds of supports. And we'll get to those supports in just a minute. Now, another reason why your recovery process needs to be somewhat out in the open is because not only does addiction live in the darkness, but so does shame and guilt and anxiety and depression and all those really uncomfortable emotions. They live in the darkness too. And as long as you're holding all these secrets inside, then what you're doing is you're almost like subconsciously pushing other people away from you. And it's hard for you to really connect with other people, for you to really accept positive encouragement, any kind of good news. Because deep down inside you feel like they don't really know the real you. And so even if they're trying to be positive or loving towards you, it's hard to really let that in because you have this whole giant wall of shame inside. And you see the antidote to addiction is connection. And so if you've got all this stuff in here blocking your ability to connect, then you're blocking your ability to recover. So you need to turn the light on all those big, hairy, ugly monster secrets you got deep down in the closet. And once you do that, you're going to feel so much freer. So you're going to have such a better ability to connect with other people telling you you're going to feel 100 pounds lighter. Okay, so now that you understand why you can't do it completely in secrecy, let's talk about the pieces that you do need in order to put together some kind of recovery plan. You don't have to go to treatment, like I said before, you don't have to go to 12 step. But I do suggest that you get a plan of some sort. Maybe that's through your church, maybe that's through Smart Recovery. Maybe that's through an online program. Maybe that's just from seeing a counselor who understands about addiction, or getting a recovery coach or a peer support specialist. There's a hundred ways and types of support you can get. It doesn't have to look any particular way. Now, I will say that if you are physically dependent on the substance, especially if that substance is alcohol or some kind of benzodiazepine or something like that, then you may very well need some medical assistance to detox or maybe even opiates or Something like that, you need some medical assistance. But even that doesn't necessarily always mean that you have to go to inpatient. I just wanted to throw that in there though, because I don't want to skip that part because it's a pretty important part. And some kinds of withdrawal can be dangerous, especially alcohol and benzodiazepines. So if you're trying to stop those substances, make sure you check with your physician to make sure that you're physically okay to do that. Alright, so back to the main topic. You've got to have a plan of some sort. And you need to put those resources strategically in place. One of the things that you need from those resources is you need to have a really good understanding of addiction. Now, if you're watching these videos, you may already have a really good understanding of addiction, because that's what we do right here on this channel. Hey, if this video or any of my videos have given you any kind of help or value, give us a like, it helps us to spread recovery. Okay? So you need a plan. That plan needs to help you understand exactly what you're dealing with. It's kind of like know thy enemy. That's the only way you're ever gonna get five steps ahead of it is to really understand what you're dealing with. And in recovery, we call addiction cunning, baffling and powerful. And let me tell you, it truly is. But once you understand the rules to the game, it's definitely possible to beat addiction. You just got to know what you're dealing with. You also need some kind of system of accountability because you are going to run out of willpower. I have some videos on willpower if you'd like to take a look at those, just so you kind of understand how that works. But there are going to be days that are harder than other days. They're going to be days when you don't feel like it and days you don't want to. And when you run into those days, you're going to need something else to hold you in place. So you see, that's not too bad, right? You need a plan. You need to understand exactly what you're dealing with. And you need some system of accountability. If you're really looking to take those steps, but you're nervous about talking to a counselor or a recovery coach or going to a meeting or something like that, then you can take a look at some of our online programs. Those programs can help you put these things in place on your own time and from the comfort of your own home. I'll put the link to those in the description. But in the meantime, on your journey of understanding exactly what you're dealing with, I want you to watch this video because it really breaks down the core components of recovery and exactly the pieces that you need.