Amber Hollingsworth explains that people rarely quit addictive behaviors simply because they 'decide' to — change usually happens when consequences of continuing become worse than changing. She offers actionable strategies to jumpstart motivation: begin acting before you 'feel' motivated, surround yourself daily with positive influences and role models, remove enabling people/places/things, automate exposure to healthy influences, and use an 'integrity checklist' as a nightly accountability tool. She emphasizes that motivation often follows behavior and that modest initial commitment (about 51%) can grow into sustained change.
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You know people that tell you, well, I just decided I wanted to quit or I didn't want it anymore. That's not the way that it really goes down. I've been on the front lines of this issue for a very long time. And in almost every situation, people that choose to change an addictive behavior do so because they find themselves in like a rock and hard place. And the consequences of not changing are greater than the consequences of changing. Which is just a super clinical way of saying that they want something else worse to happen. Like they didn't want to lose their marriage or their kids or their health or their job, or they didn't want to go to prison. But it definitely isn't because they don't like the addictive behavior anymore. Because that's the nature of addiction, right? We like it because on some level it does something positive for us. But eventually we come to realize that the positive that it used to do is less and less and less, and the negative, harmful things are more and more and more. And when you find yourself in that situation, that's when it's time to make a change. But it can feel really difficult when it just almost doesn't feel like you're motivated to make that change. But don't worry, there's actually some ways that you can get yourself motivated to want to make that change. And I'm going to tell you exactly how to do that. So just hang in there. Way too often we wait for the right feeling to happen in order to do something in our life. Like, I'm going to wait until I don't feel depressed to go hang out with my friends, or I'm going to wait until I feel like exercising to start exercising. So most people have it backwards. They think, when I feel a certain way, I'll start a certain behavior. But actually if you'll just start the behavior, the feeling will come afterward. So step number one is getting clarity around the fact that you don't have to want to make a change to actually make a change. This video is brought to you by clearly the Remote Drug Monitoring program with rapid, reliable results. No more uncomfortable conversations or accusations. Just use your smartphone to complete a tamper proof saliva test from anywhere. Most of the time we do things because we need to, especially us adults. Now the way that you make yourself motivated to want to change is actually pretty simple. You just put that positive influence right in front of you every day. For example, if you really want to get in shape, one really good thing to do is maybe subscribe to some health or fitness magazines. Follow some health and fitness YouTubers. When you're consuming these materials, it's almost impossible to not start to feel motivated and energetic about it. It's all about controlling the influence. So this does mean that you're going to need to separate yourself from all of those things that are probably influencing you in the other direction. People, places, things, books, music, podcast, whatever. You're going to need to separate yourself from things that reinforce that old thinking and old way of feeling and put other influences in front of you. And the more autopilot you can make this, the better. Because there are going to be days when you feel more motivated than other. And if you build this into your life, into your system, just like maybe you listen to your favorite radio talk show every morning on the way to work, just build it in autopilot, it will hold you solid on those days where you're feeling less motivated than other days. It'll get you back in that zone and frame of mind. Now you might be thinking, what kind of influence should I surround myself with? Anything that makes you want to be a better version of yourself. Anything that inspires growth and creativity, all of that stuff counts. But you can also do things like listen to people's stories who have conquered this problem. Because let me tell you a little secret. After you change this behavior, the feeling really does come. And the longer you're changed, the more motivated you feel. Because what happens is you actually begin to feel much better. Your thinking clears, you feel physically better, your anxiety is better, your confidence is better, your motivation is better. And then that starts to fuel itself. Kind of like starting an exercise program. Like, you have to really make yourself do it for a while, and it's freaking miserable. But after you do it so long, it's like, then you almost have to do it, otherwise you get really cranky because now that's your new habit. You can use all of those same principles when it comes to beating an addiction, because it works the exact same way. Now, if you are in a spot where you're ready to at least try to work on yourself in some way, try to make yourself be a better person, then I want to give you access to my free integrity checklist. This is a simple, short little checklist that you can download and you can either keep by your bed at night, you can put the little checklist questions in your phone, whatever you need to do. You ask yourself these questions at the end of every night, which is going to force you to do a better job of taking care of your relationships, your mental health, your spiritual health. It's going to keep you in a better frame of mind. I will link that up in the description, and I'll also put it right up here for you. Again, it's totally free. You can just download it. It's simple and easy to use. And next up, I want you to watch this video called Addiction is really just a misdirected superpower. It's going to help light that flame inside of you and to help you want to shift. So maybe right now you don't want to change, but maybe you want to want to change, and that's all you need. You don't have to be 100%. In fact, I've never met anybody that was 100% wanted to change when they made the change. You just need to be like 51% on most days. And if you put these other things in place, your mindset will naturally follow.
