Relapse Triggers and Coping Skills | Dealing With Cravings

In this video, we're going to talk about exactly how to deal with and manage cravings. Now, cravings can come on slowly over time and sometimes they come on intense and they can seem like they come from out of nowhere. But I'm going to give you my five fail proof strategies for getting through a craving without relapse. I'm going to give you these in order and it's really important that you do these in the order that I'm going to give them to you. For those of you who are new here, welcome to Put the shovel down. This YouTube channel is all about helping you understand the science and psychology of addiction so that you can get your life and your loved ones back on track and get back to living the life that you want to live. Okay, here we go. Here's your five strategies. And remember, it's important to do these in order. Number one, before you ever have the craving, when you're in a good state of mind, you need to put things in place that would make it really, really, really difficult for you to have a relapse. And usually what this means is some kind of accountability. This is like this safety net system that you're going to put in place so that you pretty much don't have the choice about whether or not to relapse. Maybe you're getting regular drug and alcohol screened, maybe you have an accountability partner that's going to check in on you and ask you the hard questions. Maybe you're getting regularly breathalyzed. Whatever it is that you need to do to put the accountability in place for you to make it really hard to relapse, that's one of the best things you can do to fight cravings. Because if it's a non option, if you don't have the choice, and you know that it's a non option, you don't spend a whole lot of time in your head doing this, well, won't I little argument thing. In fact, it makes it real easy because even if the thought pops in there, it's like, well, I really can't because I know I'm not going to get away with it. And in about five minutes I'm going to be caught with that and then it doesn't even last long. So that's the number one very most important thing that you can do to manage cravings. Number two thing that you can do is also about preventing them. Don't put yourself in situations that are likely to trigger cravings. Yeah, these are called high risk situations. Keep yourself away from the people Places and things. Now a really big newbie mistake. By newbie I mean newbie for recovery mistake that people make is they think, well, I'm just not going to drink or use or do whatever addictive behavior again, but I'm going to live my same life as I used to live before. Well, I got some bad news for you. That's just not going to work. You're going to have to change a lot of things in your life in order to make sure that you don't go back back and use. You can't keep going to the parties, you can't keep hanging around the same old people. You can't keep thinking the same way that you used to think. I tell my clients all the time, if you're used to coming home and you put on your basketball shorts and you turn on the ball game and you start drinking, then don't come home and turn on the ball game. Don't put on your basketball shorts. If you're used to listening to certain music when you use, don't listen to that music. These are just the easy, basic things that you can do to not get a craving started in the first place. Remember, change your habits, change your routines. Don't put yourself around the same people, places and things. Now another newbie mistake that sometimes people make, even though it's well intentioned, this is another big mistake, is people will tell their friends, hey, you know, I'm trying to be sober, don't use around me. But if you're still hanging around the same old friends that you know are using, even if they don't use around you, just being around them is going to remind you of all your using memories and that's going to trigger you or you're going to know that they haven't in their pocket or you're going to know that they secretly wish they could get out of standing there talking to you because they want to be going to get high. It's going to trigger your I'm missing out feeling, which is then going to trigger a craving. So I'm telling you, at least for the first while, don't do it. Step number three, if you're having a craving, the very best thing that you can do is redirect your attention. This is called the don't put gasoline on it technique. What a lot of people do when they have cravings is they start remembering when and fantasizing back and scheming and planning and thinking about someone that they know that they has it or can they get by with it and Their loved one's not going to be home for the next few hours, and they start going in their head and really thinking about it. And as you're doing that, you're throwing gasoline on it. Now, most cravings only last between five and nine minutes if you don't gasoline it. If you gasoline it, you can make a craving lasts for days and days and days. This is all about don't make it hard on yourself, right? Do everything possible to set yourself up for success. And so don't fuel it. You may not can control that first thought that jumps in your head, but you can control the second one. Don't let those thoughts keep coming. Now, the fourth thing that I want you to do if you're having a craving is I want you to call someone up and tell them. This is called telling on your addiction. It's almost like if a bully is bothering you in the schoolyard and you tell on them and it makes the bully go away. So call someone up, tell them now. Of course, this is going to have to be someone that you don't think is going to freak out or go crazy or get super upset or get really scared. It's going to be someone that you can talk to and say, man, I am really craving and want to use. You know, distract me. Tell me a funny joke, get my mind off of it. Tell me what I should do. You need to have someone like that, that you trust. Tell someone that you're having a craving, because not only does it help you to distract yourself, but also create some accountability. If someone's ever telling me that they're really craving or they really want to use, I know right then that they're really trying hard not to. Otherwise they wouldn't be telling me about it. They'd be keeping it secret. Don't keep it secret. Remember, addiction lives in darkness. Turn the light on that craving and it will go away. And then lastly, this is your fifth thing that you gotta do. If nothing else has worked so far, if that craving has gotten through all those other four things, then what I want you to do is wait it out. Now, like I said, most cravings don't last that long if you don't fuel them. So if you can keep in your mind that this feeling, this urge that you're having really isn't going to last that long, it makes it feel way more survivable. Sometimes we can get it in our head that it's going to feel like this forever. It's going to be horrible and hard forever, and we just can't take it. But that's not true. It's probably only going to last a few minutes. So a good technique to use is just to tell yourself, okay, I'm not going to promise myself I'm not going to use forever because sometimes that makes a craving even worse. But just tell yourself, you know what, I'm not going to use at least for the next two hours. Let me wait it out, or at least until after dinner or I'll reassess the situation tomorrow. I call that like the delaying technique. Because sometimes if you can delay it, if you can put it off by the time you get to that delayed point in time, it goes away. Now, if you do those first two things that I told you, you will have less cravings, they'll come less frequently, and they won't stay as long. So those first two things that I told you are really the very most important things. The last three are all about, okay, it's here. Now what do I do? And like I said, I want you to practice them in that order that I told you. Now, one of the best ways that you can prevent those cravings from happening to begin with is to practice good recovery hygiene. And I've made a list for that I call my 7 Daily Habits of Good Recovery. If you'll do these seven things just in your regular day to day practice. And they're not hard things, they're simple things that'll keep you in the good state of mind and keep you out of the craving state to begin with. Like I said, that's definitely plan A. I'm going to put a link to it in the description below. You can download it. It's 100% free. You can get that right now. And up next is my playlist on relapse prevention. This is the more advanced relapse prevention technique for you right here.