Signs Of A Functional Alcoholic

Hi, I'm addiction specialist Amber Hollingsworth, here to bring you the five most important signs of a functional alcoholic. And what I mean when I say functional alcoholic is someone that has a drinking problem, but still, at least seemingly from the outside, is functioning well. Generally they have a job or they're going to school and it looks like life is going on like it should be. But on the inside, things are definitely going wrong. It's important to remember that a functional alcoholic is really only one step away from a non functional alcoholic. Alright, let's begin with symptom number one. If you're a functional alcoholic, you probably have a hard time relaxing and enjoying yourself without a little bit of alcohol on board. That could look like it's hard to really enjoy or play with your kids without alcohol. That could look like if you're a college student, if the event doesn't involve drugs or alcohol, you're really not interested in going. And the thought of going to a movie or going bowling without drinking or using something just sounds lame. And you think, why would anybody even want to do that? That doesn't even sound fun. Because you see people with substance use disorders slowly and gradually lose the ability to experience fun and joy from everyday activities that don't involve the substance. Let's move on to sign number two of functional alcoholism. Sometimes when you wake up in the morning, you can't quite remember what happened the night before. And times you're really kind of scared to look at your phone, worried about what text messages you sent. And as you're going through your day, you're sort of sitting on edge, hoping someone doesn't come up to you and tell you some crazy embarrassing thing that you did the night before. If that's happening to you, then you're having blackouts, which is a major symptom of alcoholism. So pay attention to that one. Number three, this might be the most important one that I'm going to tell you about. You see, functional alcoholics and addicts will oftentimes make promises to themselves and to other people that they will cut down, control or stop their drinking. Guess what? People that don't have drug or alcohol problems don't have conversations like that. They don't make promises like that. They don't wonder to themselves, am I an alcoholic? And watch videos about am I an alcoholic? That really just doesn't occur to you unless. Unless you're having some level of an alcohol problem. So if you're watching this video trying to figure out if you're having an alcohol problem, that's a good indicator that it's highly possible. You know, oftentimes when we first get involved with a family and people are in this stage of it where they're sort of trying to see if they can cut it back or manage it or limit it, a lot of times it looks like, well, I'm just gonna drink on the weekends, or I'm just gonna drink on special occasions, or I'm not gonna drink more than four beers ever. And to be honest, a lot of the times, you're able to stick with that. But sometimes, even though that's what you intended to do or drink, it just doesn't work out that way. And when the dam breaks, it really breaks. And a lot of times that results in one of those mornings where you wake up and you're wondering, like, oh, my gosh, what did I do the night before? And you're totally embarrassed, and you're walking around just waiting for someone to come up and tell you. Totally humiliating and embarrassing. Not fun, right? I think it's important to understand that having alcoholism on any level, functional or not, doesn't really mean that you have to drink every day, all the time. But more, it means you have a hard time stopping once you start. And you often cross your own limits or promises or boundaries that you set for yourself and. Or have told other people. And that kind of leads me to symptom number four. A lot of times, there's a lot of people in your life that don't think anything at all. You seem like you have it together. The people at church, maybe your colleagues at work or school. But the people closest to you usually are the first ones to start to recognize these symptoms. And first, it starts just by making, like, noticing statements to you. And then they start to get frustrated with you. And then the people closest to you actually start to ask you to change or maybe even give you some ultimatums to change. That really starts to escalate as alcoholism progresses. And you may be thinking to yourself, well, no one else thinks I have a problem, but we're talking about the people closest to you, the ones that you really can't fool, the ones that see you all the time. Now, be careful, because you might be having a thought like this. Many of the alcoholics that I see will often tell me about this. You know, this loved one that's really close to them that thinks they have a problem. They'll tell me why that person's opinion doesn't count, so they want to disqualify while that person doesn't count. And it usually looks something like this. Usually looks like, oh, gosh, you know, she just thinks it's such a big problem because her father was an alcoholic and now she thinks everyone's an alcoholic. Or it looks like my mom, she is so uptight, like no one else's mom is like that. She's just always freaking out and reacting about everything. So be careful. If the people around you, the ones that are close to you, your friends and your family are saying something to you about it, listen to them. Don't disqualify it. I know there's a reason why you can disqualify why this person's opinion doesn't count and that person's opinion doesn't count. But. But usually, whether you like it or not, they're looking out for you because they care about you and you do need to stop and listen. And all of those things lead me to sign or symptom number five, you avoid conversations about your drinking. You really try hard not to engage in this topic of discussion and in fact might even be sneak drinking. So you know that loved one that's closest to you that's like always on your case and bothering you and thinks you have a problem, but you think their opinion doesn't count. So you might let them see that you're drinking a little bit, you know, like a couple of beers here. You order a glass of wine at dinner, but secretly you're drinking more behind their back. You got a bottle hidden in the garage or under the seat in the car, or you any number of places, or in your coat jacket at the fancy restaurant. So when your wife goes to the bathroom, you sneak an extra drink, or you walk up to the bar and take an extra shot while she's gone. Sneak drinking, that's a pretty big one. You really have to pay attention to that and be careful because denial is powerful. And just like you'll disqualify those people that are saying something to you, you'll have every reason in the world why you're doing that sneaking. Maybe you're doing that sneaking because you just want to avoid the argument or you just don't want to get someone upset. Whatever the reason, you have to pay attention to these symptoms. If you're having a hard time enjoying yourself without alcohol, if you're often breaking your own boundaries and limits, if the people closest to you are upset about your drinking, if you sometimes forget things from the night before and you really hate to talk about it all, you might have a problem. You know, I hate to be the bearer of bad news. But the sooner you can look at this issue, the easier and faster that you can address it and get it under control. You know, like to say, you really don't have to wait until you hit a bottom to solve this problem. Unfortunately, most people do, because when they're in that functional level, it's not that they can't stop, it's more that they won't stop. So don't let that happen to you. If you really identified with some of these things that we talked about, you might want to take a deeper look into the issue. I'm going to suggest that you check out my video on the three Thinking Patterns of an Alcoholic and as always, make sure that you subscribe to this channel. Because if this video was helpful, there's tons and tons more.