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Sleepless, gambling, and the Disconnect

24 Jul 2024 · 0 min

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A short transcript excerpt from a YouTube interview titled "Sleepless, gambling, and the Disconnect" (uploaded by Amber Hollingsworth). The excerpt captures an exchange where a speaker reports prolonged sleeplessness (about 36–40 hours) and Amber asks whether the speaker realized they were gambling at that point.

You still hadn't slept?
No, I didn't sleep until that night so I think it was probably like 36, 40 hours before I slept.
Now at this point in the story is there any awareness at all like oh my God I'm gambling already or it was just not. The dot was not connecting yet.
It was always connected. But rather than thinking that it was a gambling addiction, what I thought was a couple of different things. It was that I was gambling in too high of a quantity to be successful, that I was a bad gambler or that I was unlucky and the quantity one was really it. I would always think like oh man, like I won my first bet if I was just able to like be satisfied for the night, like I profitable. It wasn't why am I continuing to gamble? I can't control it. It was oh, that's all I have to do to be successful.