Amber HollingsworthRecovery Conversation Simulator, Amber's Recovery Practice Lab · Interactive learning tool trained on Amber methodoloy

The Boundary Mistake Everyone Makes #boundaries #addictionhelp #addictionrecovery

24 Apr 2026 · 1 min

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Amber Hollingsworth argues that boundaries aren't rules you announce to others. They're internal decisions about what you will and won't do. Telling people your boundaries usually starts arguments and puts you on defense. Just decide what you'll participate in and own it.

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Forget the word boundary for a second. Instead, I want you to ask yourself one question. What decisions do I need to make about my own life? Not their life, yours. Because most of the time, you don't even need to set a boundary at all. You just need to make a logical decision about what you will and won't participate in and then own it. And the surprising part for a lot of people is that most of the time, you don't even need to announce your boundaries. I feel like we're in a habit where we have to— we feel like we're giving someone fair notice in advance, but Honestly, it usually just starts an argument and puts us in the bagger role. A boundary isn't a speech, it's a decision.