The Different Stages of Alcoholism

You can save yourself so much heartbreak and difficulty if you just understand what the stages of alcoholism really look like. Unfortunately, most people don't recognize the problem until they're in late stage alcoholism, which makes it much more difficult to get out of the earlier in the process you can catch it, the better. So let's take a look at what those stages are so you can identify exactly where you're at in the continuum. For those of you who are new here, my name is Amber Hollingsworth. I'm a master addiction counselor, and the goal of this YouTube channel is to help people comment addiction before they lose everything. So this video is right on target for that goal. If you or someone you love is struggling with alcoholism, then you're in the right place. Subscribe to this channel, and I'll make sure that you have all the tools, resources, and knowledge to overcome this problem once and for all. Let's take a look at what early stage alcoholism really looks like. Now, in early stage alcoholism, you're not drinking every day, but you're probably binge drinking. So it's like when you do drink, you're probably over drinking. Maybe not every time, but a lot times. You could also be experiencing blackouts. And this is the worst because you wake up the next morning and you're not sure what you did or what you said. And it's a terrible feeling to be looking at your phone, trying to see if you messaged people who you called. You're looking at your social media. It's humiliating and it's embarrassing. Or maybe your friends call you up and they say, man, dude, I can't believe what you did last night. And a lot of times you don't even know what to say. Sometimes you maybe pretend that you remember. Other times you just say, I was totally wasted. And you just blame it completely on that as a way of distancing yourself from that behavior. It's just embarrassing. No one likes that feeling. You're probably also getting a reputation for being a big drinker. Now. If you drink socially at all, you're probably getting a reputation for being a big drinker. You may not necessarily see that as a totally, like, a bad thing. Maybe you see yourself as life of the party, but in all honesty, some people around you are probably beginning to check into the fact that sometimes it goes too far. And you might not even be aware that you could have some friends that are starting to slowly or at least distance themselves from you when drinking. Or maybe they're just leaving earlier in the night because they're not sure how much you're going to drink and what's going to happen. But it may not be obvious, because a lot of times they're not exactly saying something to you about it, but they are noticing it. And most likely you're lying about your drinking. You may not be lying about drinking completely, but you're probably lying about how much you're drinking or how regularly you're drinking. You're trying to minimize it in some kind of way because deep down inside, you kind of realize it's too much. Now, most people in this stage aren't even close to considering themselves having an alcohol problem. You don't even recognize this as an alcohol problem because you're not drinking every day. Maybe you're not even drinking that frequently. But when you are drinking, not great things happen. And a lot of times you go way overboard. This is actually early stages of alcoholism. And if people could recognize this earlier and imagine the amount of pain and heartache you could save yourself if you could recognize it in this stage. But hey, a lot of people miss it in the early stage, but you really need to catch it in the middle stages. So let's talk about what that looks like now. In the middle stages, you're probably still somewhat functional. Maybe you're still going to work. Maybe you're still having a lot of success at work or school or whatever it is that you're doing. Maybe you're raising your kids. You're going to all the PTA meetings. And you look highly functional to most people, but the people closest to you are really starting to catch on to the problem. And at this point, they're probably saying something to you about it, which really doesn't go over well. It makes you feel super defensive, and you get to the point where you're just, like, avoiding this conversation as much as possible. And maybe you're still not drinking every day, but you're drinking most days for sure. And it's to the point that you're, like, planning your life around it, sort of obsessively thinking about drinking. Even if you don't want to call it that. If you stop to think about it, you'll realize that you're planning your days, your events, your trips around alcohol. It's getting to the point where everything else in life is just crap you have to do before you can have a drink. Maybe you have a rule that you don't drink till a certain time of day. Maybe all of your hobbies and interests at this point revolve around drinking, and you're still trying to make it seem somewhat normal. You're definitely still probably minimizing this to others. But deep down inside, you are definitely noticing that the drinking is too much. Probably notice that you feel a lot more irritable, that you're more anxious, that you're more unhappy with your life in general. And this is because of all those brain chemical changes that you're going through. You may notice that you feel bloated, you've gained a lot of weight, or you've lost a lot of weight, but your belly seems bloated, or maybe your face is really red or your nose is really red. These are physical signs of having an alcohol problem. Even though you're still functioning, you're definitely not bringing your A game. At this point, things are starting to fall through the cracks. You may be either missing more work or not performing at your best. You may be forgetting home obligations. You may not be showing up to things the way you're supposed to. From the outside, it probably looks like things are functioning okay, but you've lost the ability to function well consistently. And it's definitely showing at this point. Now, this can be hard to recognize because you're probably going to have a million excuses as to why this is pretty much any excuse other than the fact that it's the drinking. And that's because inside that's what it really feels like, because you probably aren't recognizing how the alcohol is changing your whole viewpoint, your whole lens on everything. You're more irritable, you're more grumpy, you're more unhappy, your anxiety's up, so you're going to feel a lot more dissatisfied with everything in your life. And the more things fall through the cracks and the more you're dissatisfied, the more those situations or people, your job, your school, whatever, starts to come down on you, which then compounds it. And then you. You start to feel like it's the people, it's the job, it's the boss, it's the teacher, because they're coming at you because it's so difficult, it makes you feel defensive. And this actually causes you to miss the fact that it's the alcohol that's the problem and that these people and work and school complications are actually an effect of the alcohol, not the other way around. It's just really hard to convince people that they need to stop drinking at this point because most of us don't want to label ourselves as an alcoholic if we can stop. And most people in the middle stages actually can stop and probably do stop. For periods of time. Because another one of the signs and symptoms is that people in the middle stages will frequently take breaks from drinking. A lot of times it's like a test because you kind of know your drinking is getting too far. So you're like testing yourself. Or you may do like dry January because you're trying to not just test yourself, but prove it to someone else. Prove that you're definitely not alcoholic. How could an alcoholic stay sober for two weeks, three weeks, four weeks? But believe it or not, this whole, like, multiple attempts to stay sober and these sober breaks is actually one of the clinical criteria for alcoholism. Man, I really wish people could recognize it in this middle stage and not wait until they go to the late stage to recognize the problem. Now, most people, when you're in this late stage, you probably recognize it. But let's talk about what that looks like just in case you might still be missing it. At this point, you're probably moving from functional to non functional. You've started to put alcohol in front of everything else. Now, that may not be clearly evident because it could look like, well, I retired from my job, I didn't put alcohol first, or I just quit that job because it sucked. But you're not going back to any kind of vocational activity. Maybe you're convinced yourself, I'm going to get a job, or I'm looking for a job. But it's been a while and your relationships are really starting to deteriorate. People are actively mad at you and upset with you. They may have actually cut ties in a relationship with you, or they've really distanced themselves from you. I mean, you can feel the uncomfortableness and the tension at this point. If you stop drinking, you experience real physical withdrawal. A lot of times when people get to late stage alcoholism, they quit minimizing it so much. They stop making excuses so much because it's even worse. They just sort of buy into it. They just accept the fact that they're an alcoholic. And you can even get to the point where you just resign yourself to the fact that you're gonna drink yourself to death one way or the other. It's really hard to get through to people in late stage alcoholism because somewhere in the process, people begin to give up. It's not so much about denial anymore, but there's like a denial that you can get better. Because at any one of these stages, you can choose to put the shovel down. You hit your bottom when you put that sh. Shovel down. You don't have to experience more pain and difficulties. But you do have to recognize the problem, and you got to have some insight into the fact that if you don't stop, the problems are going to continue to get worse and worse and worse. If there's just one thing I get you to understand is, you know, you go to these meetings and people say, oh, you're an alcoholic, or you're not alcoholic. But in reality, it doesn't work that way. Alcoholism happens in stages and phases, and it seems pretty ridiculous to wait until you can't stop to make the decision to stop. It doesn't make any sense to wait till you lose everything. Yes, it's never too late if you're alive. You're still in the game, if you ask me. But the longer you let it go, let's face it, the harder it's going to be physically, emotionally, relationally. You can definitely still dig out of the hole, but it's going to be difficult. So wherever you're at in these phases, if you're anywhere in the early, middle, or late phases, now is the time to do something about it. If you're not sure exactly what to do but you know you need to make a change, I want you to watch this video next because it's going to give you some real practical advice on how to make those changes.