A short YouTube talk by Amber Hollingsworth (channel: Put the Shovel Down) explaining how thoughts create chemical responses that drive emotions and behavior, and arguing that gratitude should be active—not just a private list. She contrasts the common 12-step gratitude-list practice with a recommended daily action: actively express gratitude to someone (via text, email, or a handwritten letter), detailing why you appreciate them; if the person is unavailable, pay it forward by helping someone else. The video ties gratitude to better relationships and recovery from addiction, and ends with a call-to-action to watch a related video on improving relationships.
Chapters
Have you ever heard someone say, or maybe you said this yourself, you can't really help how you feel? Well, that's not really completely true. In actuality, there is a ton of things you can do to control how you feel. And one of the most powerful ways to do that is to control how you think. Did you know that every time you have a thought, you get a corresponding chemical response in your brain? I like to think of it like there's an eyedropper in your brain. And so if you have a happy thought thought, you get a little drip of happy chemical. If you have a sad thought, you get a little drip of sad chemical. If you have an anxious thought, you get some anxious chemical. And those chemical responses are what determines how you feel. So you can see, it's like this biofeedback loop. You think thoughts, you feel feelings, and the feelings are what triggers behaviors. So it's easy to remember. Like this. Thoughts fuel emotions, and emotions fuel behavior. So if you want to control your feelings and your behaviors, you've got to start with your thought processes. And today we're going to focus specifically on gratitude. Now, if you're new here, welcome to Put the shovel down. I'm Amber Hollingsworth, and this channel is all about helping you understand the science and psychology of addiction so you can get your life, your loved ones, back on track. You see, gratitude is a huge part of any kind of recovery program. In fact, many people who've worked a traditional 12 step program, who had sponsors, have been told to keep a gratitude list. And the thought process is this. You get up every day, you write down 10 things you're grateful for, or you keep it in a journal or in a little notebook beside your bed. And that is a great technique because it starts your thinking out on the right path for today. And, you know, like I said earlier, if you have positive thoughts, you get positive brain chemicals which create positive feelings. And then, guess what? Positive feelings create more positive thoughts. And so you can get the whole momentum of your day started in the right direction. And of course, I'm a big fan of practicing gratitude. Most people are. But what I'd like to talk to you about today is how to take that one step further. You see, to me, when I hear the term practicing gratitude, there should be a little bit more of an active step involved in that. And so what I would encourage you to do is, hey, keeping the list is great, but sometimes it's just easy to get into. Okay, I'm thankful for my family. I'm thankful for this and you really just get into, like stuck in the process of it and get really monotonous with it and it can lose its effect. So instead, I'd like to offer you an alternative to think about. You see, practicing gratitude to me means showing gratitude. So what I would like to encourage you to do is each day think of someone who's done something great for you somewhere in your lifetime and let them know that in fact, you can do this. Right after you watch this video, get your phone out and send a text to someone who's done something really important for you. Maybe someone who was there for you or someone who taught you something. Why don't you just take two minutes and send a little text message or an email? Or Even better, take 5 minutes or 10 minutes and send a handwritten letter. And if you want to take your gratitude to the next level, make sure that you let them know exactly why you're so appreciative of what they did for you and how that affects you now and why you still remember it. The more you go into the details of it, the more you're going to really feel those feelings. Because I said, now you're having a lot of positive thoughts as you remember those things. And the fact that you're actually expressing that to someone else, that's going to get you some even more positive chemical drips in your brain. You're going to get serotonin because you're going to feel proud of yourself for how you acknowledged that other person. Now maybe you have some gratitude to express towards someone who's maybe not around anymore, or you can't get a hold of them for whatever reason. And in that case, what you can do is take that gratitude that you feel towards that person and do something for someone else. Kind of a pay it forward type of a thing. Because that's another way to really practice gratitude. I'm telling you, if you can do this one small thing each day you're gonna change the way you think, you're gonna change the way you feel, and pretty soon you're gonna be a whole different, better, more improved version of yourself. And right after that, the very next step that I want you to take is to focus on having better relationships. Because the better your relationships are, the more gratitude you're going to feel and the more positive thoughts you're going to have. So up next, I've got this video for you on how to improve any relationship immediately.
