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The Proper Way To Say It

1 Dec 2023 · 1 min

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0:49

A short advice monologue by Amber Hollingsworth on how to communicate boundaries to someone whose drinking causes problems. Amber suggests candid but nonjudgmental phrasing: explain that their drinking triggers you, that you distance yourself to avoid becoming critical, and that you’re open to connecting when they are sober; reinforce positive behavior when they’re not drinking and set a clear boundary if the behavior continues.

Chapters

I would probably just say, hey look, when you're drinking it triggers me and then I'm not so nice to be around and it and I don't think it's fair for you to be with me if I'm being grumpy and irritable and thinking bad thoughts about you. So I'm actually distancing so that I don't say or think or whatever all these negative things because I'm trying not to be super critical critical of you. However, when you're not drinking, I would love to hang out with you. I would love to talk to you and so you want to positively reinforce when they're not drinking and then you just want to say and if that doesn't work and he's just got you in that bag of her own no matter what you say, you can say I'm sorry you feel that way. But when you're drinking, this is what happens on your end and that's not good for me so I'm going to back it up.