Amber Hollingsworth explains why asserting boundaries as orders backfires in shared homes. When both people have equal rights to the space, telling someone what to do doesn't work without their buy-in.
You could make it into a boundary. But you're trying to set these boundaries, but you're trying to tell him what to do. And that's why the boundary doesn't work, because you don't really have a way of backing it up. It's his house, too. So if you say you can't vape in the house, and this is a grown man, I think you said this is your spouse, right? This is a grown person. Like, to tell them they can't do something in their house, and I don't care if you pay all the bills. You might be thinking that because you might be defensive. Listen to me. But it just doesn't work that way.
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