Amber Hollingsworth explains why people stay trapped in unhealthy relationships and addiction cycles. A few good days or an apology creates false hope that tricks your nervous system into thinking things have changed, even though the pattern of harm continues underneath.
Most people don't stay because it's bad all the time. They stay because every once in a while it gets better short-term. Like they apologize, they cry, they have a good weekend. They say they know they need to change. They go to one counseling appointment. They cut back for a few days. They act like the person that you remember. And a good moment though is not the same as changing a pattern. That little good moment gives your nervous system a hit of hope. And suddenly you're back in, you're thinking, maybe I was too hard on them. Maybe they finally get it right. Maybe this is the turning point. But if a good moment never turns into a consistent pattern, it doesn't break the cycle. One of the biggest reasons people stay stuck is because they keep measuring the relationship by the other person's potential instead of the pattern that's clearly happening.
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