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The Truth Behind Recovery In Relationships

12 Jul 2024 · 1 min

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Amber Hollingsworth reframes "recovery" as a broader personal-growth process relevant to everyone, not only people recovering from addiction. She introduces destructive patterns in relationships and cites John Gottman’s research—specifically the “four horsemen”—as a framework for predicting which couples are likely to separate or divorce.

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When we think about the recovery process, we typically think about that mostly for the addicted person. We say they're in recovery, but we kind of all need to be in recovery from something. Right. We all need to be our better self and focus on our own self growth. And that's what this is all about. So want to take a look at what typically happens in your relationships that are destructive? A good place to start is from what this guy named Gottman, who's done a lot of research about couples, particularly married couples. He calls them the four horsemen, meaning these are the four things that symbolize that this marriage or relationship is getting to the end. And his research is so in depth, he's figured out a way to pretty accurately predict which people, which couples will get divorced and which ones won't. By measuring these four things.