Amber Hollingsworth describes how feeling deprived or treated unfairly creates a mental setup for relapse. When you think "it's not fair" about criticism from a spouse, neglect from family, or mistreatment at work, you give yourself permission to use.
The thought that's going to cause you to relapse is always some sort of thought about deprivation. It's a thought about what you don't have. It can come in a lot of different forms. For example, one form that this thought can come in is it's not fair. Let's look at some examples of that. Maybe you have a thought of my wife or my husband is always critical of me. My parents never see what I do right, they only see what I do wrong. My kids don't appreciate me. My boss is a giant narcissist who treats me like crap. Because inherently, within that statement, there's this idea of I can't help it, I shouldn't be held to the same standards because. But I do want you to understand that this is the sneaky thought that will allow you to make the decision to relapse.
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