Amber HollingsworthRecovery Conversation Simulator, Amber's Recovery Practice Lab · Interactive learning tool trained on Amber methodoloy

This One Change Makes Communication Easier #addictionhelp #addictionrecovery #boundaries

27 Apr 2026 · 1 min

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Amber Hollingsworth argues that in recovery relationships, make specific requests instead of rigid boundaries. Ask your partner to attend meetings or find a sponsor, then let them choose. Requests invite cooperation; boundaries enforce control and create conflict.

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It's completely okay to tell someone that you love what would make you feel better. Like, for example, you can say, I'd feel better if you were going to meetings regularly, or it would mean a lot to me if you weren't hanging out with those using friends, or I would feel more at ease if I knew you had a sponsor. That's a request. It's honest. It's totally allowed. The problem comes if you get into trying to enforce it. That's where we get into the control lane. You don't need a boundary about everything, right? You can just have a request. Now they can do it or they cannot do it. What happens that actually sets them up to have to be the good guy or the bad guy instead of setting you up to have to be the bad guy, right? They can decide whether they're willing to do that because it's helpful for you.