This is a transcript of a YouTube interview (Jay Shetty interviewing Tom Holland) about Tom Holland's journey to sobriety. Tom describes starting with 'dry January' and extending abstinence to prove he didn't have a problem, eventually committing through his birthday (June 1) and reporting he is 'a year and a half' sober at time of recording. He recounts improved sleep and fitness (supported by a sleep-tracking ring), better mental clarity, social and career effects of not drinking, and the role of supportive friends and family (including his mother). Jay Shetty, who has been sober 17 years, affirms the social and professional benefits of not drinking.
Questions this video answers
About a year and a half.
He started with dry January, extended to two months, then aimed for six months ending on his birthday, June 1.
A sleep-tracking ring (referred to in the transcript as an 'Aura ring').
17 years.
Chapters
One of the things that you mentioned recently was that you gave up drinking about a year and a half ago.
Yes.
And you said it was the hardest thing you ever did.
Yes.
And I wanted to know what was so hard about it for you. Why was it so hard?
It's interesting. I didn't one day wake up and say, I'm giving up drinking. I just, like many Brits, had had a very, very boozy December, Christmas time. I was on vacation, I was drinking a lot and I've always been able to drink a lot. I think I get my genes from my mum's side in that thing. I can drink. And I decided to just give up for January. I just wanted to do dry January and all I could think about was having a drink. It's all I could think about. I was waking up thinking about it. I was checking the clock, when's it? 12? And it just really scared me. I just was like, wow, maybe. Maybe I have a little bit of an alcohol thing. So I sort of decided to punish myself and say, I'll do February as well. I'll do two months off. If I can do two months off, then I can prove to myself that I don't have a problem. Two months go by and I was still really struggling. I felt like I couldn't be social. I felt like I couldn't go to the pub and have a lime soda. I couldn't go out for dinner. I was really, really struggling. And I started to really worry that maybe I had an alcohol problem. So I decided that I would wait until my birthday, which is June 1st. I said to myself, if I can do six months without alcohol, then I can prove to myself that I don't have a problem. And by the time I had got to June 1, I was the happiest I've ever been in my life. I could sleep better, I could handle problems better. Things that would go wrong on set that would normally set me off, I could take in my stride. I had so much, such better mental clarity. I felt healthier, I felt fitter. And I just sort of said to myself, like, why? Why am I enslaved to this drink? Why am I so obsessed by the idea of having this drink? And I would look back and recognize that I would go to events for work and I can't enjoy myself until I've had a few beers. And I just felt so much pressure. And this is one of the things why I've sort of distanced myself from the rugby community, because so much of it is about, how much can you Drink, let's get you as drunk as possible. And it's honestly been the best thing I've ever done. I'm a year and a half into it now. It doesn't even cross my mind. I found amazing replacements that I think are fantastic ones that are also really healthy. I found this one beer that is full of electrolytes and it's, you know, the carbohydrates in it are long lasting energy. So like having a beer is now actually like a really healthy thing. I'm really lucky that all my friends are super supportive about it. I've never run into that scenario where my friends are like, oh, go on, just have a beer, like you're fine. They've always sort of really supported me and I don't want to be that person that's saying to people, you should get sober, you should get sober. If I could encourage someone to drink less then that's great. But I, I don't want to start getting into the world of you need to stop drinking. Because I just, it's, it's not for me to say. I went on my own little journey. I'm really enjoying it. I'm delighted that my mum's almost has also given up. She's loving it and it's been amazing. I can't believe the difference that I feel from not drinking. Yeah, I feel amazing.
That's amazing, man. I love hearing that and I love hearing that. It's been great for you, right? I think, yeah, that's the point. Not everything has to be like, look what I did, you can do it too. It's kind of. No, this is just what's been great for me. Do you think it was partly that attitude for you, at least in the beginning where it's like, well, I can drink, I drink a lot. It comes from my mum genes and it doesn't affect me. And then all of a sudden you realize, well, wait a minute, it's more than that because I think there is that. Like I was like that as a young man as well. Like for me it was, it was easy to drink. I didn't drink daily. For me I drank a lot more socially. Sure. And I love playing drinking games with my mates. Yeah, that was what I enjoyed the most probably. And for me, when I quit, I could just quickly see how it just got me into doing things I would never do if I wasn't drunk. So for me it was more that. But yeah, I wonder for you, did you find that there's a really fine line between like, oh, I know I can drink a lot. And then all of a sudden you're kind of not addicted beyond that?
No, addicted, mate, I'm happy to say. Like, I was definitely addicted to alcohol. Not shying away from that at all. I think anyone that wakes up and has not wakes up, anyone that has a beer every day is probably got a little bit of a problem. But, yeah, you're right. I would drink and drink and drink and drink. And then you would just reach that moment where you're like, wow, I shouldn't have had that last beer. And you wake up the next day and you have a terrible headache and you're suffering. I bought one of those rings that will tell you about your sleep.
Yeah. Aura ring.
Yeah. And it was amazing because I couldn't sleep. I was like, why can't I sleep? I'm working 14 hours a day, I'm doing two hours in the gym, I'm eating really healthily and I can't sleep. What's wrong with me? I bought this ring and it was booze. It just, it was completely affected my sleep. And since I've given it up, I can sleep anywhere. You know, it's also interesting as well, going on nights out and having a great time as the sober person and then getting to that point in the night where people start, you know, spitting in your ear and everyone's, I love you, man. I love you so much. And you're like, yeah, brilliant. I love you too. I'll see you tomorrow. I'm going to bed. I love being that person now. I love seeing my friends on the golf course at 8am in the morning, feeling fresh and ready to go, and they're sort of crawling out their car. And so, yeah, so I, I, I'm over the moon to be sober. I love it.
Yeah. For anyone who is listening right now and it's going, tom, I love that for you. I want to do it too. Like, they're listening, going, I'm having too much every day. I can notice some of those things, but I'm just stuck. And it's hard because we know that addiction's that way. We know that this is heavy. It's not easy. But if someone is watching going, tom, tell me, like, what, what did you do to even get started? How did you have that courage to say, I'm going to do January, I'm going to stick at it? Were there any moments where you actually fell back and then had to get back on the horse again? Like, just walk us through that a little bit more for Anyone who is watching going, tom, mate, I want to be in your position in, like, six months.
I didn't fall back on it. I have done in the past. I've had periods of my life where I'd given up drinking and then gone back to drinking. But this time, I don't know, it was just different. I really worked to sort of change my mindset. I really asked myself, like, why do you drink? Why are you drinking? And a lot of the time my answer would be to feel more comfortable in the social environment.
Yeah.
And I just put myself in those environments and just would force myself to be there. I'd force myself to hang out and. And go to a club or go to a bar, go to a dinner.
So we weren't avoiding those places.
I was at the beginning because I didn't feel like I could go and not have a drink because of the stress of it. But then after a while, I sort of was like, mate, you've got to pull your socks up here and you can't just live in your house all the time. You've got to go out and enjoy yourself. And. And if you're only enjoying yourself because you're drinking, then you really do have a problem. But I just changed my mindset. I just. I found really good replacements. Things that I could sort of attribute to having a beer, I often found with me. Most of it is just the ritual of cracking something open and sharing it with friends and drinking it, whether it's sparkling water or a beer. I now can't. I don't associate, like, I don't see a difference.
Yeah.
But I think it's different for everyone. I had a great support system. Jack is one of my best mates and we travel all over the world. He doesn't drink, and doing it with him was. Was a really helpful experience for me. My brother is always on the road with me. He was very supportive. And, yeah, I just really set my mind to it. I really want to do this. I want to prove to myself I can do it. Yeah. And then once I'd felt the health benefits and started really feeling like my full self.
Yeah.
It's like, oh, my God, this is. This is the best. But do you not drink?
I haven't drank for 17 years.
No way. Congratulations. That's amazing.
Amazing. Yeah, it's incredible.
Wow.
It's like one of the best feelings in the world. And it's my. My biggest, like, worry when I was about to quit was like, how am I gonna hang out with my mates?
That was my biggest Worry.
I was like. My mates knew me as the guy who was like, first to the game, last to get out.
That was me, Right.
You know, the clown when I got drunk, like, life of the party, kind of like that kind of guy. And then all of a sudden, I decided I wasn't gonna drink anymore. I was like, crap, am I going to fit in? And then I remember I went into the corporate world for a bit and I didn't drink. And I was like, God, am I going to miss out on opportunities and networking? Like, you know, all the guys afterwards are like, going to get drinks and I'm like, I'll come, but I'll have a water or I'll have a soda, whatever it is. And what was really interesting for me is not relying on drinking made me rely on qualities and skills I had.
Sure.
That were actually better. Yeah. So now that I couldn't drink as an excuse to hang with the lads, I was bringing out parts of my personality that I probably would have just hidden away or ignored. Yeah. And all of a sudden you were actually getting respected and liked for who you were rather than the person who you were when you were drunk.
Sure.
And actually that worked in the workplace. And there was no one at the workplace going, oh, Jay doesn't drink, so he's not getting promoted.
Right.
It wasn't like that. People were like, oh, yeah, I really like hanging out with Jay, or he's a really good guy, or whatever it may be. And I was still getting the same opportunities and I was still getting promoted at work and whatever it was. And I think that's why I'd like to remind people that don't feel like your career or your work is going to suffer, even for you. Like, you've. I'm sure as a, you know, with your career path, you have to be at parties, you have to be at events, of course. And the fact that you're able to do that now without having alcohol and you don't. It doesn't sound like it's negatively impacting your career. If anything, it's the opposite, mate.
I honestly cannot believe, like, the amount of times I've sat down with an actor that I've really admired or sat down with a producer or director and been like, oh, you know, well, I don't drink anymore. And they go, oh, I don't drink. 10 years. And you're like, oh, my God. And I've had so many insightful conversations with people like yourself where you've heard their story, their reason for giving up, and there is a wonderful community of people, and I love it. I love being a part of that community. I'm really proud to be a part of it. I hope that, you know, I can meet other people and chat to them about it, because it's really nice. It's lovely to be like, let's go get a lime soda together, you know?
Yeah. Let's get a juice. Yeah. Let's get a smoothie.
