Amber Hollingsworth (host of the "Put the Shovel Down" YouTube channel) argues that the common belief that people must "hit bottom" to stop an addiction is a myth. She outlines why bottom moments often fail to produce lasting change — people forget painful events, learn the wrong lesson (bargaining/loopholes), and in cases like opioid overdoses, the person may not remember the event (and Narcan can immediately restore them). Instead, lasting change more commonly comes when people accept they cannot control the substance and/or when the substance stops 'working' (pros no longer outweigh cons). Recovery is usually a slow, trial-and-error process; many people experience repeated 'bottoms' before genuinely deciding to quit (often summarized as getting "sick and tired of being sick and tired"). The video ends with a CTA pointing to a free checklist for daily recovery habits and links to follow-up videos.
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So many people believe that in order for someone who has an addiction to drugs or alcohol, in order for them to stop and stay stopped, they have to hit bottom. But I'm here to tell you that is a myth. And in this video, I'm going to explain exactly why that is. For those of you who are new here, I'm Amber Hollingsworth, and you're watching Put the Shovel down, the YouTube channel designed to help you understand the science and psychology of addiction so you can develop a strateg to beat this thing, get your life and your family back on track, and get back to living the life that you actually want to live. Okay, back to our topic. First thing, let's talk about why bottom doesn't make people stop. And secondly, we're going to talk about what actually does make people want to stop. So there are several reasons why hitting a bottom doesn't really do it for people. First reason is because sometimes when people hit a bottom, yes, they'll like, something bad happens. Maybe they get a DUI or they boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, whatever. Maybe they threaten to leave and they think, okay, like, I gotta get my act together. The thing of it is is they'll may do better for like a little while, but eventually they forget about the negative bad thing. That's sort of like a natural defense mechanism we all have. We tend to forget about painful things from our past, and then they start just remembering the good thing about the addiction and not the bad things. So the further they get away from that bottom, the, the less they remember about how painful it was. And then it just kind of slowly they slide back to old behaviors. Now, the biggest reason why hitting bottom doesn't really work is because when people hit a bottom, yes, something really bad happens and they learn some kind of lesson, but they're not exactly learning the right lesson. A lot of times what people learn or get from hitting a bottom is they don't need to let that bad thing happen again. So basically, they start to think, okay, this really terrible thing happened, not necessarily because I gotta stop doing this addiction, but because I need to stop hanging out with that person, or I need to make sure I don't drive, if I drink hard liquor, or I need to make sure I'm not in these situations. So it's kind of like you'll miss the big picture and focus on trying not to let that one bad thing happen instead of understanding that in order to not let bad things happen, you kind of have to give up the substance, the drugs and the alcohol. Now, a third Reason why, why hitting bottom doesn't really work, especially if we're talking about a bottom that's like an overdose or something like that. A lot of times when your family and somebody's overdose, you think for sure, like, this has got to be the bottom. Like, oh, my God, like, they were literally dead. The ambulance people have to bring them back to life. Like, this has got to be it. Like, how much lower can you go? But that doesn't really impact the person because they don't remember it. Right. So if you were there as the family member and you were witnessing, it's traumatic for you. You probably can't sleep. You can' function, like, for days, weeks, months, maybe even longer. But they don't really remember that. So it's much more traumatic for the people that were there than it is for that person. And speaking of that, if the overdose is an opioid overdose and they got basically brought back by Narcan, they're actually gonna come back and immediately be on draw. So that's another really big reason why hitting that bottom doesn't particularly work. If it were up to me and you had to be Narcan, you'd have to go to some kind of mandatory length of time of treatment. Because a lot of times what they Narcan people, they bring them back. Literally, that person leaves the hospital, whatever, and goes right back out and uses again, and sometimes even overdoses again. It is true that most people take a moment to really, like, inwardly reflect and think through things after something bad has happened. And the truth of it is, most people that have a substance abuse problem are going to hit a bunch of bottoms. They're going to sort of drag along the bottom. So let's talk about if that doesn't make people change. What actually does make people change. What really gets someone to change isn't necessarily that the bad thing happened. What really gets people to change is sort of two things, one more important than the second. But the first thing is that they get that they can't control the substance use anymore. Because like I said before, a lot of times when you hit the bottoms, they start thinking, okay, if I do it this way, or if I don't mix these two drugs, or if I don't go to place, or if I stay away from this drug over here, the bad things won't happen. I call that the bargaining. And it's not until somebody really, truly grabs a hold of the fact that it's not going to get better that they're not going to at least not going to be able to consistently manage it. And that there really is no, like, loophole around the problem, that if they continue the addictive behavior, they're going to continue to hit bottom after bottom after bottom. That's one thing which is a big piece of the puzzle that has to be there as far as somebody stopping the addictive behavior. Like, really stopping long term stopping that key piece has to be there. And the other thing that gets there is that the substance or the addictive behavior really stops working for them. Now, it may not have quit working completely, but it's definitely not the same. You know, a lot of times you get to the point where you just. You have to be able to drink just to function. You have to be able to drink just to go to work. You have to be able to use just to finish your shift for the day or something like that, and it's not even fun anymore. So you get to the point where really the pros don't outweigh the cons anymore. And you get to the point where you're like, there's no loophole magic way for me to get around this system. There's no way for me to keep this in my life and let it work and function. And it takes a long time, usually years, for people to really come to terms with that fact. And pretty much the only thing that will get you to come to terms with that fact is sort of going through the trial and error process yourself. A lot of times, people that ultimately stop using forever and ever and ever, if you ask them, it's probably because eventually, like in 12 steps, you'll hear people say, I just got sick and tired of being sick and tired. Like, I just finally came to terms with, I don't even like this. This doesn't even work for me anymore. And there's no loophole way for me to get around it and get back to the good part and not have the bad part. When you come to terms with that, really kind of get ready to walk away. And when you do walk away under those circumstances, you tend to stay away because it's like you get it and you know it. On a deeper level now, a lot of times this is not some big, crazy, horrible crisis event that triggers that. It's really just whatever causes you to come to terms with that and realize that sometimes it just happens. You just eventually you just get sick of trying to wrestle with it. You get sick of trying to manage, you get sick of trying to fight it, and you realize it's not going to work. And it's not fun or helpful anymore and you're tired of being held hostage by it. Whereas those big bottom moments, you start to bargain with it, right? You start to think, well, I can get around that bad thing happening or I can outrun that bad thing, but it doesn't necessarily really sink in. That's going to make you quit long term. Sometimes bottoms can make people quit for a period of time, but not until they really, really, on a deeper level, sort of understand and get that it's not great. They don't even like doing it. And there's no loophole. Are they really going to stop doing it forever? Make sure you stay clean and sober. I've got a free resource for you that you can get from the link in the description and it's all about. It's a simple checklist of daily habits that if you practice them consistently, will ensure that you maintain your recovery. Now, if you're watching this video and you're in recovery or you know someone who's in recovery, let me in the comments. What was the thing that did it for you? When was it that you finally decided enough is enough? Or when was it that this friend or loved one that you know, this person you know, decided that enough was enough? Maybe it was after a bottom, but I'm kind of guessing even if it was after a bottom, it was probably after like multiple bottoms until you came to those conclusions that we just talked about. Now, up next, I have two videos for you and the first video is for you if you are trying to get cleaness over and it' how to take easy, simple steps that are guaranteed to work. And the second one is for those of you out there who are already sober, but you want to make sure you stay sober because the second video is about the key to relapse prevention. I'll put them right up here. All you have to do is click them.
