Amber HollingsworthRecovery Conversation Simulator, Amber's Recovery Practice Lab · Interactive learning tool trained on Amber methodoloy

What To Say When They Flip It Back On You #addictionrecovery #addictionhelp

6 Jun 2026 · 1 min

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In this segment Amber Hollingsworth offers practical advice for handling situations where someone redirects an accusation back onto you. She recommends first acknowledging the other person’s point (“you might be right, we need to talk about that”) while clearly stating that the current conversation should stay focused on the primary issue. She stresses avoiding a back‑and‑forth argument about who is right or wrong, suggesting that side issues—such as possible snooping or out‑of‑line behavior—be addressed later in a separate discussion. Amber also frames a counter‑accusation as a “verbal punch” and advises responding calmly, offering to discuss the new claim later without letting it derail the original topic.

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Respond to whatever they're saying, especially if it's some sort of accusation to you. I usually suggest that you respond to it is to say, yeah, you might be right. We do need to talk about that, or you have a point there, but right now we're talking about this. So don't get into an argument about whether you were right or you're wrong or how you handled it, because maybe you were wrong. Maybe you were snooping. Maybe you were out of line and maybe that does need to be addressed, but that can be handled in a separate conversation, right? So it's like, well, right now let's talk about this. We can come back to this. Because another technique you get a lot is, well, you make mistakes too, or you did this to me, or whatever, trying to call attention. You know, it's an attack back. So if you think of it like a verbal punch, this is just like a punch back to you, right? So you can say something like, I'm willing to talk about how I found out, but I'm not going to replace that with the actual issue.