What's It Like To Get Sober?

If you've been thinking about getting sober, then you probably realize that quite immediately when you start thinking about that, a lot of thoughts, fears and frustrations immediately flood over you. And most often, it's those fears that keep us stuck in problematic behavioral patterns like addiction. Which is why in this video, I'm going to tell you the top 10 fears that become roadblocks to recovery. For those of you who are new here, welcome to Put the shovel down. This YouTube channel is all about helping you to understand the science and psychology of addiction so that you can get your life and your family back on track. It's my goal to keep you five steps ahead of addiction at all times. If that sounds like something that you're thinking about doing, then then consider subscribing. And if you are new here, then introduce yourself in the comments below and let me know if there's a particular resource you need and I'll point you in that direction. Okay, here we go. Here's our top 10 fears that immediately jump into our mind when we start thinking about getting sober. Number one fear is fomo. Have you ever heard of that? Fear of missing out. Essentially, when you start thinking about getting sober, you immediately think, I'm pretty sure life's gonna really, really, really, really suck if I have to give this up altogether. And I don't even know if I want to live life like that. That doesn't even sound fun to me at all. For most people, the thought of getting sober, it just feels like they're giving up everything that they enjoy in life. But here's a little secret. When you're struggling with an addiction, even if it's not full blown, but it's kind of moderate, you lose the ability to experience joy from other things. So when you start thinking about getting sober, you probably think about what it feels like now when you're sober, and it's not very good. But when you get sober for real, as in past, a couple of weeks actually, you start to experience joy and happiness and pleasure from lots of other things in life. Remember those things that you used to enjoy before? You'll probably enjoy those things again, plus some other ones. Number two fear that could be holding you back is a fear of the physical detoxing process. You may be thinking, I really want to get sober, but I don't know how I'm going to do it. I don't think I can get through the withdrawals or I don't have any insurance. I can't go into detox to do that. Or you may be Thinking, I can't take off like a bunch of days from work in order to do this and I know I'll be really sick. You could be stuck in that fear of how to physically come off of the substance, which is totally understandable. But there are lots of resources and ways to do that depending on what substance it is that you're trying to stop. Number three, thing that you may be worried about when thinking about getting sober is you may be worried about losing your life. You see, it's not just the substance that we want to hang on to, it's the whole lifestyle. A lot of times by the time we get to the point where we're thinking about getting sober, that the lifestyle has become part of our identity and who we are. And we've pretty much built our whole life around this addictive behavior. So the thought of giving up the substance is really magnified by the thought of giving up your whole identity and lifestyle. Number four, reason or fear that you might be worried about when you think about getting sober is you may be worried about I don't want to go to treatment or I don't want to talk in groups, or I don't want to go to no therapy or anything like that. You may be worried about the process of things that a lot of people do when they get sober. I'm going to give you three little keys on how to deal with that fear if that's the one you're having. Number one, a lot of people get sober without ever having to go to treatment. Number two, if you do need to get some help, treatment, groups, therapy, it's honestly not as bad as you think. And number three, if you really want to get sober, but you're really scared of those things, then you may want to consider taking an online recovery course as your first step, because you can do it in the privacy of your own home without having to talk to anyone on your own time schedule. And you're in luck, because I have one for you. I'm going to put the link in the description below. Number five, you might be worried about not being able to manage your stress or anxiety or depression or emotions without the substance, because maybe you've been using that substance or addictive behavior to self medicate some other kind of mental health problem or stress or grief or loss issue. And you're scared that you're just not going to be able to deal with that without the substance or addictive behavior. Well, I'm gonna be really honest with you. My guess is it probably will be a little Harder at first, but once you get into sobriety, you regain the ability to cope with those emotions. And what you're gonna find is, is that once you stop doing that addictive behavior and substance, your anxiety and depression is gonna go down. Now, you may have underlying anxiety, depression, mental health problem, but I promise you, if you're doing something addictive in order to medicate it, you're making it wor. Stopping. Okay, not like the first three days, but, you know, like after two weeks or so, that is gonna get quite a bit better by itself. And for a lot of people, it gets all the way better. Number six, this one might sound a little bit funny to you, but number six is you might be worried about feeling judged. Remember that one where you talked about the lifestyle a little bit ago? A lot of times, by the time you get so far into substance, you have developed your whole lifestyle around it and your identity like we talked about. And you've probably done a lot of what I call, like big talking, right? You may be the one in your friend group or in your social circle that is literally known as the life of the party, or the one that has constantly talked about how everyone on the planet should smoke weed because it's fabulous and wonderful, or you probably said and done a lot of things that if you get sober, you're gonna feel like a total hypocrite or a total loser because you're doing the opposite of everything that you've said all along. Here's what I gotta tell you about that. It's okay to change your mind. It's okay to be wrong. Don't let your ego stand in the way of you getting your life back on track, of you being able to live the life that you want to live. And if that means sort of sucking it up and saying, you know, I know I said all those things, but turns out I was wrong, or turns out it didn't work that way for me, that's okay. Don't let your ego stand in the way. And the next one really connects to that one as well, which is you're worried about what other people are going to think. Like, what will you say when your buddies are like, hey, man, you want to do this? Or when someone offers you a drink or whatever it is that you're trying to stop and you just don't know what to say and you just feel like it's going to be super awkward. I gotta tell you something right here might be a little bit painful. My guess is the people around you probably already know that You've been doing that substance a little bit too much anyway. So my guess is when you say, yeah, not for me tonight, or I'm not doing that anymore, I'm cutting back. They're gonna be okay with it, believe it or not. And if they're not okay with it, then what you're really experiencing is someone else that probably has their own substance problem or addiction problem and you're not doing it is probably triggering their feelings. Because anyone else, it's just not going to bother. So don't worry about it. Okay? I know. It's just not easy to just not worry about it. Like, I made it sound so easy. And so if you're concerned about that, then watch this video. I'll put it right up here for you. It's all about how to handle those uncomfortable social situation moments. Okay, this next one is a pretty common one that I've heard a lot too. Depends on what substance you use. But a lot of people feel like that their substance really helps them with some specific area of their personality or intelligence. For example, what I mean is people worry that they won't be as social if they don't have their substance, or they won't be as creative, or they won't have as much energy or focus. So like I said, that really depends on the substance. But it's kind of like, well, how will I talk to people if I don't drink? Or how will I work, you know, 15 hour shifts if I don't take opioids anymore or stimulants or something like that? So a lot of people have that fear that without the substance, they're not going to function as well. And because I really always want to be honest with you, I'll tell you that there may be a little truth to that in the beginning while your brain is healing and you're getting back on track. But ultimately, what I want you to know is that substance is not making you more charming. It is not making you smarter or more creative or have more energy. In fact, even though it feels like it does that for you in the short term, in the long run, it's making all of those areas more and more and more difficult for you. So don't fall into that irrational belief. Now, number nine is a little bit different. You may be thinking, well, I don't really need to get sober because I'm not really an addict, or I'm not really an alcoholic, or I don't drink every day, or I never use drugs in the morning, or I don't Use the same thing all the time, or I've never went to jail, or I've never hit my wife, or I've never pawned anything. All of these things where you might be telling yourself, I'm not as badass. So why in the world would I want to get sober? Here's what I want to say to you is if you're thinking about getting sober, then my guess is it's causing some kind of problems in your life. And you do not have to wait until the train crashes, Right? You can choose to turn this situation around before you lose everything. You don't have to wait to the nth degree to make a good decision. If you know that this train is headed for a crash, then just exit. In fact, that's where the name of this channel came from. It's called Put the Shovel Down. It comes from a recovery. Saying that means you hit your bottom when you put your shovel down. You can decide where that is. You don't have to wait until you lose everything, and I encourage you not to. Number 10 is you may be reluctant to getting sober because maybe other people in your life want you to get sober, or you've got a legal problem or something like that, where you have to. You have this power struggle in your mind going on about, I don't want to be controlled. You know, it's kind of like that, I'm a grown man or I'm a grown woman, or I can do what I want kind of thing. Well, here's the thing. If you get really honest with yourself, then you're going to acknowledge that that addiction is what is controlling you. It decides what you spend your money on. It decides how you feel. It decides what relationships you're going to keep or not keep. It's messing up your life, and it is controlling you much more than you probably even realize. Now, if you don't believe me or you want to know more about that or why that is or what the science behind that is, then I want you to watch this video next, which is going to explain to you the brain science of exactly why and how this addiction is controlling you. Right up here. So watch it next.