Amber Hollingsworth describes how couples start out drinking together, but when one partner's drinking escalates while the other's slows down, it becomes a source of conflict. Partners often say they knew about the drinking from the start, but the shift over time is what creates the problem.
What is the process that couples go to when there's an alcohol problem? Usually what happens? Not always, but usually what happens is usually in the beginning, if it's an adult relationship, usually both people in the relationship drink to some degree. But sometimes one of those people, as the relationship goes on and matures, one of the people in the couple, their drinking will either slow down or normalize, or sometimes they stop drinking, but the other person's drinking not only continues, but will continue to increase and escalate. And then there becomes this conflict between the two people about whether or not the alcohol is okay. They'll frequently, often say things to me like they knew I drank when they got with me. Like, we used to drink together, and they used to be kind of fun. And now what happened?
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