Raele Altano (communication coach) explains differences among three silent behaviors: stonewalling/silent treatment (withholding communication to punish or manipulate during conflict, increasing anxiety/tension), passive-aggressive silence (curt, apparently-agreeing replies meant to mask hostility and shift blame), and 'no response is a response' (withholding response as self-protection after boundaries or attempts at healthy communication have failed). She notes she will cover responses and strategies in a future video.
Chapters
All right, let's break it down. What is the difference between stonewalling, passive aggressive silence, and the no response is a response approach? I see a lot of content out there, kind of conflating the three of them and using them interchangeably. So I want to break it down and help you understand the difference and how it shows up in your communication or someone else's communication. Of course. Let's start with stonewalling or the silent treatment. This type of communication or lack of communication is meant to manipulate the situation and to punish the other person. This usually happens during a conflict when emotions are high. The person was present physically or they were engaging, and then they just stop. And a telltale sign of this is when it actually increases the anxiety and tension instead of reducing it or at least neutralizing it. Now, passive aggressive silence is when you're getting curt answers like, fine, sure, you're right, whatever you say that are meant to seem like agreement when they're not and they create a hostile environment. Once again, the goal here is to manipulate and control and make the other person seem like the aggressor. Whereas no response is a response is usually what happens when someone has tried communicating directly, resolving the conflict, or establishing a boundary. It's a method of protection at that point, not punishment. When there have been repeated attempts to communicate in a healthy way but boundaries aren't respected and there's no resolution, no response is absolutely a response. So while the concepts look similar, they are actually very different and their intentions are very different. I'm well with Rael, your communication coach. I hope this breakdown helps you understand the differences and how they can show up with different people in different scenarios. I'll cover some responses and approaches to each one in a future video, so follow along for more.
