Short coaching video by communication coach Raele Altano offering two practical pivots for conversations with chronic complainers: (1) ask “What would you have done differently?” to invite solution-focused responses, and (2) ask “What was one good thing?” to steer toward positives. Includes a caveat distinguishing these pivots from toxic positivity and advising genuine venting be heard.
Chapters
The next time you're talking to a chronic complainer, I want you to try one of these two responses. The first one is to say what would you have done differently? Or what would you do differently if you had the chance? This is a solution based open ended question that puts the ball in their court to answer. Sometimes the people who tend to complain want the opportunity to share what they would have done and how they could have done it better. So give them that opportunity, genuinely listen to their response, validate it in some way and start to move on. The second response is to say, what was one good thing? What was one good thing about your day? What was one good thing about the trip? What was one good thing about the event? And so on and so forth. This hopefully encourages the complainer to find the positive and lets them know that you are steering the conversation in another direction. Now this is not to be confused with toxic positivity. Let's clarify that. If someone is truly trying to vent, hear them out without trying to interject with silver linings. But for the people who are chronically negative or chronically complain, this is a great way to pivot the conversation and push them to see the good. Well, with Rael, your communication coach, this is a tricky one. So.
