310 - Building Prosperous Relationships with Bestselling Author Randy Garn

Welcome to she Sells Radio. I'm your host, Elise Archer, and this is a place where female business owners and sales professionals come to learn how to sell in a way that feels authentic to them and to break through next level income and life goals. As an entrepreneur, wife and mom, I'm relentless about having it all in my own life and I believe that you deserve to be too. Join me every week for inspiring interviews with other women who've achieved big business success, as well as for solo episodes and deep dive trainings that will help you improve your sales process process, earn more money and step into the most aligned and powerful version of yourself. And now, let's go. Welcome to she Sells Radio. I am beyond excited for the conversation I'm about to have today with a new friend of mine, Randy Garn. And Randy was introduced by a mutual friend of ours, Stephen Scoggins, who's actually going to be coming on the podcast very soon. So I just want to give him a shout out there. And I will say as soon, as soon as I connected with Randy and learned about his work, I was so blown away, as I know you will be too, and I wanted to do whatever I could do to get him on the show for you. This man is very, we don't use the word busy here, Randy, we use the word in demand. He is very in demand. So this is something I'm very grateful to be able to do and for him taking the time today. And I will say on a professional front, if you're not yet familiar with Randy, he is the New York Times best selling author, co author of the book Prosper, which I've been talking about with my clients on social media. He's a founding partner at Prosper Inc. And he's also a partner at the High Performance Institute. And when I was introduced to Randy, our friend Steven introduced him to me. I think something along the lines of the thought leaders thought leader. So if you check out his website or his Instagram, you're going to see that he is working with and spending a lot of time with people you probably know and follow like Lewis Howes, Jay Shetty, Brennan Burchard, Tony Robbins, Dean Graziosi, and a lot more. And with all of that said, what I have been so imp with in the short amount of time I've gotten to know him is his genuine, empathetic and super personal approach to how he builds relationships and the work he does, as well as just his enthusiasm for life. He's a father to six children, four of which are daughters. So we'll try to get some of his thoughts today too, on raising girls and what's that, what that has taught him as well. So I know this is going to be an amazing conversation. Randy, we're so glad to have you. Welcome to she sells Radio.

Awesome. Well, thank you for having me, Elise. It's a beautiful day today and I just, I love Stephen and anytime he says, man, you got to meet this awesome lady, I. I jump at the opportunity to build new relationships and, and see how I can serve in any way.

Absolutely. Well, I think we're going to talk about that some today too, because just getting to know you and your work, you are a master relationship builder from a place of genuine authenticity, from everything that I've experienced with you, and it's really powerful. So I want to get into that too. And I want, though, is really talking about transformation. So I know one of your specialties is guiding leaders through transformation. And our community and our audience is all about that personal transformation into the most authentic, abundant and impactful version of themselves. And so I'm just curious to get kicked off. What in your life got you so interested in helping people through transformation?

Man, it starts back from my, honestly, from my childhood days and, you know, even having my own kids, I think about this a lot. It was in that, that age of impact is between the ages of 11 and 14. And my dad was a high school football coach. He was, you know, at the high school with me all the time. We had a big ranch and he would always listen to Jim Rome and, you know, Dennis Waitley and Zig Ziglar and all of the greats when we would drive out to the ranch. And I think in my mind, just being able to have some of those really cool things like, hey, you can become what you want to become. You can make good decisions like, stay happy. Get in the habit of being happy. You know, some of the, some of the courses I remember just listening to, he'd put them in and we'd listen to them and then we talk about them out the ranch. So it's, I think at that young age, it, it really helped me to be like, I want my life to be a work of art. I want people to know that I can be trusted and that I'm. I'm going to do the best that I can and I'm committed to excellence. I also think it's like, it's, it's. Once you get to a really good place is you want to help others. I think it's such a natural thing, like the real people, the real people that are really doing transformational work have actually transformed themselves.

Yeah.

And if you follow great people, you know, that have done that is they help lift and build others up. And I think that's, that's what happens with, with real transformation. It's an internal thing that, you know, I try to get myself in such a state where I like Tony Robbins says, like how to live in a beautiful state. That doesn't mean that you're. It's all lollipop and sunshine all the time, but it does mean that you actually see life in a whole different, a whole different view. You have a whole different pair of glasses on. I'm actually working on some huge stuff right now. Some big contracts and it's, it's negotiations and it's. And it's fun and it's exciting, but it's not always like just pure joy and happiness, but it's, but it's meaningful. It's hard, it's working. Like it's. That's transformation is, is really learning how to stay in a beautiful state at all times and then as a leader helping others get there.

I love that. And it's. So I wrote a note about I want my life to be a work of art. And the piece about the beautiful state that actually changed my life. We were raised in a household and I love both my parents, like they're incredible. They were very, very book smart, very intellectually smart. And I wasn't. I love that you were introduced to personal development early on. My introduction was later in my life and learning some of the things about emotional intelligence and living in the beautiful state. It's life changing. It's absolutely life changing. So I think, you know, what you said about can I stay there when I'm negotiating this big contract, when I'm in a situation that feels times like that's the work, but that's so powerful. And you say, I wanted to speak to you definitely about relationships today because that's something that I think we can all, myself included, learn so much from you on. You say on your website, Randy, you say one essentially like one of your personal mottos is do as much as you can for as many people as you can, as often as you can and expect nothing in return. And I love that. I'm just curious, how did that, how do you see that has gotten you to where you are today? And what does that actually look like in your day to day life now? How do you embody that?

It's really, I mean it really is that was a quote from my dad, but it really is the rest. It's really living the law of reciprocity, and it really, really works. It's just amazing. And you talk about transformation. Most people that I know are in it for transactional relationships. Yeah. And if you really want to do deep, meaningful relationships and you really want to snorkel and not just. You want to not just snorkel with people that scuba dive with them, you got to be in. Get them in a transformational state. And by doing that, you find out totally what. What matters to them, what impacts them. And so I think for me, it's like really understanding how to get in the heart and mind and body of somebody to help them really become a better human. Like, I. I love. I absolutely love coaching. I love human growth. I love helping my friends and my family. Like, my best friends are the ones that will tell me, call me on my crap and be tough with me, and help me be the better person. And that's kind of friend I want to have. Like, those that love you the most, that you spend the most time with, should be the ones that actually will make you want to be that best person. How do we lift and build each other up? And so those are the best friends that I have. And so having those type of relationships, the type of relationships that I want to have are those of authenticity and with those people that you spend the most time with. Like, there's a. There's a weakness that I. That I've had that two of my friends spent two and a half hours on with me, like, saying, dude, if you just fix this one thing, you're going to be so much better for, like, what are you going to look like when you're 50? You know, I'm not there yet, but it's just like, what kind of man do you want to become? And those are the kind of friends are, like, asking me those tough questions. And so those are the people you want to associate with. And so I think as far as relationships go, you need to really understand, like, who is your core? And I had a really good mentor of mine. He said, randy, you need to write down 25 people that you want to get to know. This was after we'd had acquisition of our company and things, and I was like, hey, what do I want to become? Who do I want to know? And for me, relationships are always the most important. In fact, the biggest Harvard study that's ever been done, thousands of people, the largest study ever on happiness, was the very, very number one thing was the depth of relationships.

Wow.

And the greatest joys and the greatest sorrows in our life come within the walls of our own homes with those that are our closest friends and family.

Yeah, that's so true. That's so true. And if someone is, you know, I'm curious if someone is listening and they're hearing, they're hearing this mindset of, all right, the way you approach relationships is to. It's the law of reciprocity. Like you said, just do as much as you can for other people with no expectation of return. And maybe they're in a place, though, where they're hurting. Maybe they're in a place where they're dealing with either scarcity mindset. They're feeling like. One of my biggest goals in life is to shift the world of sales and business from one of scarcity and competition to one of generosity and love and abundance. So there's so much indoctrination that we have to approach business the old way to be successful. So maybe they've been doing it that way and they're hearing this and like, gosh, I want to do that, but, like, I'm in freakout mode about money right now. I'm in freak out mode about my next sale. How do they, how do they make that shift? How do they trust that this is actually the way to approach their life and their business and what they want to do?

I 100% know that. If, especially in your own cells or your on, on the money side is that learn to serve before you sell and learn to build those relationships, because it depends on what cells you're in too. It doesn't, it doesn't matter. You have to really understand what matters to them the most. But I always say, learn to serve before you sell. And there's some really good examples of that. I was working on a massive contract. That's one of the biggest contracts I've done. And I just wanted to go in and get the deal done. And. And a really good friend of mine that I called, Brandon Steiner from Eastern Steiner Sports, number one memorabilia, you know, guy in the nation. I could grab, you know, my Yankees things. I've got memorabilia here. I'm a sports guy. I love sports. And so he said, hey, when you go into his office, Randy, don't just try to close him, don't try to sell him. Just get to know him. Get to know him. Look on his walls, see what he likes, see who he. See who he admires. And I walked into this guy's office, this amazing CEO's office and saw that he loved the Yankees. He had a. He had a thing on it on the top of his thing and said, God made me to be a Yankee, you know.

Yeah.

And. And I look and there's his family, and he's got a beautiful son, his wife, and then another daughter. And. And I sat down with him. I'm like, hey, you're a Yankees fan. Said, yeah, I'm on the advisory board with Steiner Sports, and he's a good friend. Have you ever been to a game? And he just went off and like, we, like, spent forever and time on that. And then I said, well, hey, let's go to Yankees game sometime. Let's figure things out. We'd love to win your business. We'd love to start working together closely on a really big strategic partnership together. And we spent a lot of time on that. And then I asked him about his family, and I just said one thing to him. I said, hey, Jim. Jim, how are you? He said, I'm not doing very good right now. My. My son was just diagnosed with cancer.

Oh, wow.

And I appreciate you guys coming in and just not trying to talk about business, but he's like, I'm. I'm really struggling right now, and for me, it kind of shifted everything.

Yeah.

And so after that meeting, we said, man, we're here for you. Let's. Let's stay in touch. Let's see what we can do. He said, I've got another meeting. Some other people want to do the business. We're working things out. So I called Brandon after I said, brandon, I did what you said, you know, let's get him. Let's get Jeter to do a sign back for him or let's get something cool.

Yeah.

And. And he said, well, tell me how the meeting met. Tell me what happened. I. I said, no, let's just. Let's just get him something cool from the Yankees.

That's.

That's. I think that'll get it. He said, well, tell me what else happened. I said, well, his son's diagnosed with cancer. He's like, that's it. Let's do something for his boy. Let's do something for his son. So when you're doing relationships and we ended up having some. A really cool thing that we did for his boy. Son, and we're still close friends today, and it's still in his office. And so you just have to think about what are the things that really matter most of those customers and clients? Everybody's human. We all put our pants on the same, same way. And trying to really find out what are those really cool, unique things that you could build to dive, build deep, meaningful relationships with somebody. So you're just not snorkeling, but you're really scuba diving and doing things. I always say, never be boring, never be predictable. And that way you'll always be memorable.

Oh, I like that. Never be boring, never be predictable. And that way you'll always be memorable.

You'll always be memorable.

I love that. I love that. So you've talked a number of times now about just this depth in relationships and it, it's interesting. I was going to ask you some questions later in the interview, but I want to ask you now about this because I think you have a very unique perspective, probably for most people because of the level of influence you've built and the level of influence of your circle and the depth of the relationships that you've built as well. No doubt you come across quite a few people who are like, they're trying, they're chasing the fame, they're chasing the celebrity. Right? They're surface level. And you can feel it. You can tell it a mile away. What do you see? What are the common denominators and common characteristics of the people that you know who truly rise to the top in terms of influence and lasting influence? Right. You talk about sustainability in your book Prosper so that sustainable influence. What are some of the common personal characteristics you see amongst those people?

You know, a continual strive for excellence, a continual strive for wanting to be more and do more. And recently, the people that I surround myself with the most, the ones that I love the most and the people that I most admire, you know, once I get to know them, is that they actually see everyone. I think this is one of my gifts is that I have a tremendous faith in God. And my total belief is that we are all, we have divinity in us, no matter whether you're the CEO or the Uber driver. And so for me, it's like seeing everybody for greatness and, and the really amazing people that I know one, they don't let things get to them. They, they understand, like, dude, the struggle is the strength, the struggle is the growth. But on relationships specifically, those that I actually most admire, and myself too, is I see every single person as amazing and filled with tremendous gifts. You never know who the treasure map to the treasure is.

Just sitting with that. You never know who the treasure map to the treasure is. Say more about.

You never know who the treasure map to the treasure is. So here's just A quick example. Yeah, please. Again, our business is exploding this 2006 and seven. You know, we were some of the OGs. We had a tremendous large education, training company and coaching company. You know, hundreds of employees and explosive growth. We had a lot of people that wanted to acquire a company and do some things. We've been doing a process. We've got it down to about three people. We flew fly out to New York and we finally chose the one we're going to actually do the deal with and build a big partnership with. It was going to be life changing. We get to New York, we get out of the cab, we're running late and for this really, really important meeting. And there's this lady running with this big huge thing of fruit and she's trying to get the same elevator we're going into. We were there with my partners and then our banker was there too. And she runs into the elevator and she gets strawberry juice all over this guy's jacket and his white shirt. He loses his mind. He's like, what are you doing, lady? Are you freaking kidding me? What's wrong with you? This suit probably cost more than you make an entire year. Are you serious? Like, he lost his mind?

Wow.

And I was like, no, please, no. I mean, listen, it's just a suit. It's not. And he. So all the way up to the 16th floor, he was just like berating her. And I'm. I'm like, he's our banker. I don't know him. Well, we hired him on to help us with this whole acquisition. We get up to the 16, four and the whole window open, the whole room opens up to this huge business, this huge company. We've never been there before. She's walking in with this fruit. She goes up to the receptionist, the receptionist like, hey, Janet, you know, Tom will see you now. We're gonna. We're the one seeing Tom. You know where I'm going? Yeah, yeah. I mean, you just never know. So anyways, she goes in and then the receptionist said, hey, hold on one second. Tom will see you in just a minute. You know, and then she called us in and we go in that office and she's in there. Who do you think that person was?

Someone important, obviously. Yeah. Who was she? His wife.

It was his wife.

Oh, gosh.

We're there to sign the deal. We're sign the documents. And he basically said, you guys, the way that you treat my wife, I'm very picky about who I do business with. You know, I appreciate you guys coming all the way out to New York. But I'm not going to do the deal with. With you the way that you've been treated. So that's a real. That's real. I mean, that's what I'm saying. It's like you never know who the treasure map to the treasure is. You never know who you treat and how you treat other people, what that ripple effect may be. You never know how it will come back around. You know, I always say, like, I'd always. I. I'd always be in the situation where I don't want to ever take advantage of somebody. I want to be that kind of man. Where they said Randy Garn was a good man, and he never did take advantage of me in any way, shape, or form, and he helped me be a better person by transforming my life. He gave and he gave and he gave.

Yeah.

And. And you have to be in those circumstances. And that's why I try to see everybody as great, because you never know who they're going to become or what they're going through or what's happening in their life or how it actually may affect you. Because karma is a real thing. I have 100 believe in it. And so it comes back around. So that's just an example of why you should always treat everybody with love and kindness and respect.

Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Well, and that story is a powerful example of karma right there. Boom boomerang. Right. Right back. So, yeah, so see the divinity in others. I love that we talk about that with our clients in sales coaching is the impression of increase. Right. Just always seeing increase for others, seeing the greatness in who they are. So I love how. I love how you shared that. I want to take a moment. There's so much I want to ask you. And also wanting to honor your time. So I want to take a moment and talk about something from your book. So this book attracted me for a number of reasons. I mean, one, as soon as Steven told me, you know, I need to connect with you and see what you're all about, I started reading it. And I love, love, love the focus on prosperity in all areas. Right. So the book is prosper, create the life you really want. When I look at the content my audience is most interested in, it's almost always about abundance, prosperity, generosity, giving. So you say in the book, there are these six prosperity practices, right? Or habits that we. That we can embrace in order to live a more prosperous life. And so one of them is living in your prosperity zone. And I want to take just A moment to read through how you describe this and then go a little bit deeper here. So in the book you say your prosperity zone is the place where what you love to do more than anything in the whole world also makes you money. You are truly in the zone when what makes you money makes you and other people happy and when work doesn't seem like work at all. And I read that and I thought, okay, I have not been in the prosperity zone and I am now grateful to be in the prosperity zone in my life. But I know the pain of not being there. And so if somebody is listening and they think I'm definitely not there in my life right now. You obviously read the book as you talk through how to get there. But what are some things that they can do to start to find their prosperity zone if they realize that's not how they're making money and living right now?

You know, I think you, you need to take a deep breath. And I always say, like, if you don't have your strategy on one page, you don't have a strategy. So for you to get in your prosperity zone, you have to really have a clear, a clear vision of how you're going to earn that income that is really aligned with what God creates you to be and what, you know, the measure, like really measuring up to the measure of your creation in a big way. And so a lot of people will, will really, I, I say spend a lot of time on, on that. So really prosperity is a three legged stool. It's, it's the balance between money, happiness that we talked about and that a lot. Big part of that is relationships and then sustainability. Is it good for me? Is it good for others? Is it good for, you know, the ecosystem? Can I do it over long periods of time? Because if you're making a lot of money and you're not happy, it's not sustainable. Right. And we all know a lot of people that are happy that aren't making a lot of money. So that's not prosperity. Money is a key component, happiness is a key component, and sustainability is a key component. And that's why living in that prosperity zone, the only way to get there is that those three things align. And that's like right in that center of the Venn diagram.

Beautiful.

So, so I think spending a lot of time understanding like what drives joy, what are you super good at? A good example of that is a really, while we were writing the book, we interviewed a really prominent entertainment attorney that handled, I mean, people from Michael Jackson to, you know, Just humongous artists. He's making millions of dollars a year. He's traveling all over to the. These red carpet events and everything. He was miserable. His next door neighbor had a car detailing business that he did with his kids from 5am to 3 and then never missed a baseball game. They made great money, but they had a detailing car detailing franchise his kids were involved with. He's doing that. He was making money super happy and he loved it. And they ended up like, continuing to build that business up. But the entertainment attorney told me and my partner I would do anything that I could to sway him to live his life.

Wow.

I don't have a relationship with my kids. My marriage is a disaster. I'm making great money. Everybody thinks I'm doing all these great things, but inside I'm all. So you have to really understand what prosperity means and ensure that you're getting. We only live one time, Elise. Like we only live one time on this earth. So you gotta get real clear on who you're gonna do stuff with, how you're gonna accomplish it, and is it making an impact?

Yeah. So powerful. That's so powerful. And that's something. Another conversation for another day. But I, I relate to and I understand building up the life that you think is gonna make and doing all the outer things for success and realizing it's completely. It's empty without those other elements as well. So I think if someone is wanting to really integrate, you know, the happiness piece, the sustainability piece, and the money. Right? Because you're not saying don't go make money, you're saying, yeah, make plenty of money. Right? We, we love that and that's important. And adding in those two other elements is. Is where it's at and what is most important. I want to ask you two final questions here. I think we should have, hopefully have time for both. So coming back to the thought leadership piece, Randy. So there is so much on the horizon with thought leadership that's changing. Right. And I was speaking with a colleague not too long ago who was. He was talking about how he had used ChatGPT to write the framework for his whole next book. And so I am so curious with what you do and with, you know, just the impact that you're making. What do you see with the future of thought leadership given the current environment and what's coming down the pipe? So, you know, it's. It's so easy now to use AI to write amazing articles or create great content or help create your personal brand. So where do you see things going and what do you think is going to last? What is going to be most important moving forward in your opinion?

I think, I think, I mean you hit it right on the head at the beginning of this is that there's a really good book that was written in 1990s called the Experience Economy by Joseph Pine. And I, he, he actually said this is where we're going, that we're going to go from, you know, commodities to goods to services, to experiences. Right. So a lot of things in the thought leadership space is taking us to experiences and, and like what are the type of life experiences that we're having? He said there's another phase that's coming and it is really the transformation stage. And that's where you really, that's where a true thought leader and a, through a real individual will take you places you never thought possible and will literally change your life to be better. And so even with chat gbt, if you're using that great. Like if it's doing stuff to improve humankind and mankind, I'm all for it, you know, So I don't think there's. So you have to think about that. If you go from a good, a good could be my book. You know, a service could be coaching, an experience could be coming fly fishing with me or doing a live mastermind or an event. That's, that's what I'm talking about. And every time you go up in those levels, there's more value driven and you can charge more price. Okay, that makes sense.

That makes sense. Yeah.

The fourth level is transformation where it's like I never ever, ever this. They become your disciple. They never ever want to leave you because you have changed people's lives. That is where the real, like I think Tony's done that. Amazing. He is transformational. Like when you go to UPW or Date with Destiny or whatever, like you, like something changes in you if you're willing to do that. And I always say there's two types. There's two types of people. Those that love to learn and those that actually take action and will apply the learning. So that's where you got to get the learner. You've got to be so good at training that you can train that learner to transform. So I think it's important to understand if they like you, they'll listen to you. If they trust you, they'll buy from you. If they have an experience with you, they'll never leave you. But if they, if you transform their life, they will become a massive disciple and refer like Crazy. And that's how you grow your business. That's the sustainability that we want to get to.

That's super powerful. That's super powerful. And that's. It's an interesting perspective. We started talking more about AI on the show and what that looks like, but we haven't talked about kind of that ladder. Right. Of value and where it ties in and where it makes sense. So I think for those who have been concerned about, you know, how much is this going to replace what I'm doing, where my value is, It's. Well, if you can provide that true transformation for people, that's not something that's replaceable.

Not replaceable, right.

Yeah. Powerful. Yeah. Final question for you, and then I'd love to share where everyone can connect with you. So I told you before we hit record, when I have men on the show, I love to give them the opportunity to give a shout out to a special woman in their life. And you mentioned your wife Charlotte, and I'm sure she's an amazing lady. I would just love to know from you what's the number one life lesson that you have learned, Randy, from Charlotte?

Man, she is just consistent. I mean, one of the things that really attracted to me is she's gorgeous, she's beautiful inside and out, but she's also just so consistent. She's an amazing mom. You know, I asked her. I asked her. I was actually speaking at our church, and I asked her a question. I was like, hey, Char, do you believe in angels? You know, I wanted to know because we. I do.

Yeah.

I said, hey, do you believe in angels? Because you're preparing for this. And she's like, heck, yes, I believe in angels. You live with one every single day.

Me, I like this woman.

I love her confidence. I love her sassiness. You know, she's. She loves everyone. She all she wants to do, and she's been just an amazing. She's built a company. She's just an amazing mom. She's amazing, amazing business partner, life partner, and she really is my best friend. There's nobody else that I'd rather be than. Than hang out with her.

That's. That's the way to do it. That's where it's at. So shout out to her. That's awesome. Hey, thank you so much. This was an incredible conversation. There are so many places where I know we could go deeper, but I feel like we hit on so many valuable points here. So, Randy, if someone wants to connect further, can you tell them where to go to get the book? And to learn more about the work you do and how to connect with you.

Yeah, they can just go to randygarn.com and I'm there.

Amazing. All right. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. Absolutely. Yeah. And to you, my listener, thank you so much for tuning in. Connect with Randy online. Go to randygarden.com get his book Prosper. When you talk about transformation, it really will transform how you think about the way you live, the way you work, the way you make your money. So thank you as always for being a listener of she Sells Radio. I'll see you on our next episode. Bye for now. Thank you so much for tuning in to today's episode. If you found value in it, I would be forever grateful if you took a moment to leave me a review as well as screenshot and share this episode on your favorite social platform to help spread the love. And as a thank you for being a listener, I would love to send you my free guide five sales scripts to increase your closing rate by 50% or more. Just head to elisearcher.com scripts for instant access. Always remember, you are worth believing in and going after what you want. Making more money and growing your business and sales in a way that feels great to you is your birthright. And it's my honor to be on your journey with you. All right, my friend, I'll see you next week on our next episode. Bye for now.