Activity Anxiety: Whinypaluza Wednesday

Hello everybody, happy Winey Palooza Wednesday! No need to whine, it's Winey Palooza Wednesday. Have some wine and join us on Winey Palooza Wednesday with the Green Family.

Cha-cha-chicken!

Ella, you have to actually look at the camera. What's your deal? Are you tired mentally? Mentally tired? Will you come back for the end, please and thank you? We need your beautiful voice. Hello everyone, I hope you had a wonderful Wednesday. I am sporting my Winey Palooza fairy t-shirt. Lily and I— Lily, can you come show them your shirt, please? Lily and I are going to be Winey Palooza fairies for Halloween. I'm very—

you're gonna hand out, deliver candy instead of taking it.

Okay, come here, Miss Candy, show them your shirt. Nope, you gotta get closer. Stand up so they can see it. Thank you, little fairy. Okay, go back to your friends. Um, Lily and I decided to match and be whiny-ploosa fairies for Halloween. And if you're in my whiny-ploosa mom group, you know that one of my favorite things is to be a whiny-ploosa fairy and deliver gifts. So that is where our Halloween costume stems from. And tonight was her first night dressing up. So fun in the greenhouse! What is everyone being for Halloween? Is everybody ready for Halloween? Um, thankfully we're gonna have a full house. And it's going to be a lot of fun. Gonna be great, hopefully. So let's talk about my topic this week.

Yes.

So you can do it. I decided to title it Activity Anxiety. It was the best way to summarize how I was feeling about all the activities. And when September began, I knew we were in for major fall cheer, cheerleading, first season of cheerleading for Lily, and we were in for a hugely busy fall school soccer season for Max. It was a tongue twister, sorry about that. Yes. So I knew that it was going to be extra busy, and I remember going into September like, oh my God, how am I gonna do this?

Yep.

And I can't even believe that I'm gonna tell you that we did it.

And we got through this, people.

She's still here, and I'm in shock that it's over. I can't believe that the whirlwind is over.

I'm sure she's gonna complain about that.

No, I'm sure— no, I still feel busy. Do I look like I don't feel busy?

Fair enough. You're always feeling busy.

I definitely still feel busy.

I thought you were gonna have a vacation with all this free time.

No, but it's It's— I am patting myself and you on the back because we did it together.

Yes.

And I'm going to take you back to Lily's last competition, cheer competition. It was her last day of cheer. We did it! September and October. Yay! October is ending. We got through two of the hardest months of the year, if you ask me. Sandy, how are you? Do you think two of the hardest months of the year are September and October? Why?

Because you said if you ask me, so I thought I'd ask you.

Okay, you're being silly. Sandy, are you still standing? How did your— how did September and October go for you? It's almost over, and November should be a little bit quieter for me. I say that every month. I say that every month. So I'm gonna take you back. Yes, she's still standing. I'm gonna take you back to Lily's last day of cheer. It was her last competition. They won every single competition they were in.

Undefeated season.

Undefeated season. I am so proud of her and her team. And I was like so proud of myself. I had her uniform washed. I had the little black shorts she has to wear under her skirt. I had the black no-show socks. I was like going over their email in my mind and I kept, looking at their post of, you know, you must wear your no-show socks and you must wear your gold eyeshadow. And I'm like going over it and over it because I don't want to forget anything.

And I'm like, don't want Lily to have a ponytail that is 5 fingers from your forehead and not 4. That could be a problem.

Um, you know what, the first year of anything is a huge learning curve. And I want to tell you all that, whether it's your job or the PTA, like a volunteer job, Girl Scouts, a sport, anything that it's your first year, it's like a learning curve. And then the second year is so much easier. So here I was, it was my first year. And I was like, her ponytail needs to be 4 fingers from her forehead. And I'm like, what?

They're very specific.

And I was like, you know, going over their posts, like you must get there at noon and you must wear no-show socks. And I was like, okay, Um, it'll only get easier from here. Sandy, I completely agree with you. I think that fall is crazy and we did it. So, um, I'm, I'm like so proud of myself. I'm like, I've got everything laid out, I'm ready to go, it's going to be great. And then I'm like, why is her hair bow not with her uniform? They have a certain hair bow. They have— so they gave us makeup to use.

Can't use your own makeup. We all got to be wearing the exact same style, shade, model, make, and number.

They They gave us gold eyeshadow and red lipstick.

Not your red lips.

And I had the gold eyeshadow ready and I was like, where did I put the lipstick? So I'm like throwing the contents of my purse all over the couch going, uh-oh, we might have to use my red lipstick.

And I don't—

hopefully they don't notice. But I found it at the bottom of my purse.

It's bottomless bottom purse.

But I was like, oh my God, what's gonna happen if I don't have the bow? And what's gonna happen if I don't have the right makeup? And like my anxiety getting Lily ready was like through the roof because I want to please, I want to do a good job, and Lily is so specific of how she wants her makeup and her hair to look that it's so difficult. Hi, Tayton! Tayton's here. So did you know that you are not supposed to put eyeliner, eyeliner over your whole eyelid? Do any of you ladies know that?

According to whom?

According to the 9-year-old, right?

Well, that's her.

The 9-year-old is going to keep me up to date on the fashion trends, the fashion trends, the hair trends, the makeup trends. She's like, no, Mom, you have to do like a wing of eyeliner and you can't do the whole eye. So I perfected how to— how she likes her eyeliner. And I'm like, what the heck? You know, you get Ella ready for a show and she's like so easy, and you get Lily ready for a competition and it's like Oh, is it over yet?

An extra half hour.

So I literally show up to the competition, walk in the door, and my friend says to me, we did it, it's the last day. And she gives me five because her daughter also does cheer competition for a different team. And I don't know how the heck she did it. So we did it. We got through cheerleading my first year with Lily. So much to learn. I like can't tell you how many times I read those posts so I didn't forget something.

Do you want to tell them? Did you want me to tell them about the rest of it?

What was the rest of it?

Getting me there.

Oh, well, that's okay. I mean, you can tell them, but it's not a huge deal.

The short version is we were supposed to— Max, Ella— I was supposed to corral Max and Ella into coming to her last competition, which I did. Then I was supposed to leave at, let's say, 12:30. She texts me and says, 12:30, you're going to be here too early, you're going to be stuck in the parking lot waiting. Wait till 12:45. 12:45, we're in the car, we're starting to leave. She's like, oh my God, they're coming early, they're starting early, you better get here faster. And we're driving, and every couple minutes she's texting Ella going, tell him to drive faster but safer, tell him to speed but go safe. And I was like, Mom's freaking out, you got to get there, you got to get there, you got to get there. And then I'm like playing— I'm like, Max, go watch one of the recordings of Lily's cheer. It's the same cheer every time. Go watch it so you can say that you knew something that she was going to do if we're late. And then we got there, she's like, hurry up, hurry up, hurry up. And then we get there and they were back to running on time, and we sat there for 10 minutes waiting for it to start, and we didn't miss a thing.

I was a nervous wreck that you were gonna drive all that way. It was like half an hour away and miss— because her actual— you realize that these, you know, you go to soccer and you're watching game after game after game. You go to a cheer competition and it's like a 3-minute—

right, you could wait all day for your 3-minute slot, whereas a soccer tournament you might see 4 hours of soccer.

I didn't want you to miss her 3 minutes, so I'm so glad you made it. I was a nervous wreck. I know, getting them where they need to be causes activity anxiety. It causes activity anxiety. And I try so hard to be organized and to have everything laid out and to like be prepared and to give myself enough time. I try so hard.

Doing great, baby.

So then there's soccer. Then there's soccer. And I love that Max and Ella have a phone to take to school. Ella can't take her phone out, which sucks, but Max can. And in high school, the rules loosen up. And he— Sandy understands— the, the rules loosen up so Max can text me during the day. Not like during a class, but like in between, during lunch, in between classes. So So like every day it was like, practice changed, you got to come pick me up.

They changed the time a lot.

So like, practice is at 5, the game was canceled.

Practice is at 3.

Can you take these 3 friends home? And I was like, okay, I got to pick up the friends, take the friends home, get to Mill to get Ella to— So anyway, it's a whirlwind. Soccer and cheer were a total whirlwind. Holy moly, I can't believe they're over. Max is playing his travel soccer team, so soccer is like never over for the Green family. Wouldn't you say that?

It is year-round except for like a month in the summer.

So I drop Ella off at school and Lily is telling her that she wants to go back to theater, and Ella's like, yay, I love when you go to theater with me. She's like, cheer is over. I can go back to theater with you. And then Ella gets out of the car and we drive to Lily's school. And Lily's like, and sign me up for more cheerleading. And I want a tumbling class. And I'm like, withering away in the front seat. And I'm like, Lily, you have to pick one. I'm like, you're already doing dance. Isn't that enough?

3 dance classes, not just dance. 4. I thought there was 3, 4. You snuck another one in.

4 dance classes.

Isn't that enough? That's 4 things.

I'm like, you have to pick something. And she's like, I can't. I'm like, she's 9. I have to take control.

Yes.

And I understand why my mother would say you can only do one activity at a time. My mother is such a smart lady.

At the time, you thought she was being mean and saying no, but we have learned.

But like, my mom is like, you do the schedule to yourself.

Yes, you do.

And Lily is like, well, you never say no.

She has figured you out.

And I'm like, well, this isn't good at all that my daughter is telling me that I never say no. Well, I'm like, pick one, pick one thing. They don't need to do everything. Yes, I know that they want to. I am so thankful that Max has chosen one and Ella has chosen one. We need to work on Lily because she's gonna drive me crazy and make me live in my car. And for those of you who have one child doing activities, oh my goodness, times it by two more. Or those of you who have four or five kids in activities, yes, God bless you. Boom. So, so I'm laughing at myself because I keep everything in my phone. Okay, like everything's in my phone. Max will text and be like, you need to you know, you need to change this, you need to pick me up at this time. I keep updating my phone. I realized in September that I was forgetting things because I wasn't actually looking at my phone.

Yes, we did have that discussion. I remember this where you— I would say— you would say something and I would say, it's on the calendar, honey. And you said, yeah, it'd be good if I checked that.

I'd be like, what time are you working? Tell— he'd be like, I did put it on our calendar. So So use your calendars, but then look. So write—

actually check it.

Yes. Write everything down, but then actually look at it. And you may think that I'm sounding really stupid right now, but I bet you there are people out there who do not look at their phone like me.

Yes.

And I figure if there's something that I'm struggling with, that other—

you're not the only one.

So now I know to keep glancing at my phone through the day to see what did I forget? What do I need to do next? Yes. So I'm— I have learned to use my calendar. I have learned to be more organized. Like, instead of like frantically finding things 10 minutes before we're leaving the house, I have learned to see like, where is everything? Let's be calm. Let's lay everything out. Let's be organized.

Organized.

How many years did that take?

A while. Sandy says everything is on my phone too, and if I don't check it, I miss things.

I know.

And then I get—

and then, Sandy, and then I get mad at the end of the night because I'm like, you didn't look at your phone, so you didn't do it because you didn't look.

So you need to put a reminder on your phone to look at your phone.

Oh, so that's another thing. That is another thing.

I'll forget to buy milk because it's not on the list.

I know, I know. I go to the grocery store, they say, did you get X, Y, and Z? And I say, did you put it on the list, or did you tell me to put it on the list?

Tayton says, I'm learning not to depend on when I think things are. I have to check the phone. Amen.

I know. So here's, here's the next thing that I haven't done is my friend puts alarms on her phone all day.

Yes.

And I don't do that, but like, no, like I could be engrossed in something when I'm supposed to be in the car picking up Max. So it's like my phone needs— does your phone have alarms all day?

Yes, constantly, for every meeting, telling me what I'm supposed to be doing when. That's the whole point.

So what do you do, alert? Yeah, for every single thing. Yes, ha, 14 times a day. There's something that I'm doing wrong and I know it's not—

you're not doing it wrong, you could be doing it better.

Okay, so I'm missing stuff partly because I'm not alerting myself to do it, right?

It's got to ping you and say, look at my phone, look at me, you're missing something. Okay, Sandy says yes, I've started adding reminders. Tayton says yes, alarms. I miss alerts.

Alarms. I don't think I know how to set an alarm.

I'll show you.

Seth is gonna have to teach me that. Tayton, I do alerts. Yes, but I do miss alerts. You're right, because we don't have our phone in our hand all day long.

Make it make sound and make it loud. Hopefully you'll hear it.

Okay, so we're gonna do this after this because I'm not doing that and I'm missing stuff. Okay, but like the chaos of like we need to get out the door. Have you noticed that when you get crazy, it makes your kids crazy?

It is— crazy is contagious.

Crazy is contagious.

There's another shirt.

And crazy is contagious.

That'd be a good shirt.

So, so I try so hard. Like, Ella will be frantically getting ready for theater, like, we have to leave right now, and I'm trying not to go with her.

Yes.

Like, I don't have to be crazy because she's Right.

They don't have— they technically don't have to be crazy because you're crazy.

Well, they don't know. They don't have the brainpower to not go with me, but I have the brainpower to not go with them. So I'm like, okay, be the leader.

Yes.

Lead your family. Lead my family in calmness and organization. And usually I'm screaming out the door, I forgot my phone.

Yes, many a time I have run around the house trying to figure out where you left it and bring it to you before you drive away.

Okay, so let's talk about managing your mind through this.

Sandy says if you have an iPhone, mine is an option where the reminder stays on my screen until I remove it.

Okay, so I need to do that, Sandy. Thank you, thank you, excellent tip. Because like even the flute this morning, it was like, take Lily's flute, and then it disappears. Like, that's not helpful. Don't go away, stay until I actually get the flute.

Well, it would not know if you got the flu. I get what you're saying. Like, I want to figure that out, folks. I got a million-dollar invention.

No, I want to have to dismiss the alert. I want to be— have to—

I thought you were expecting it to track with an RFID tag where the fluke was and tell you that you brought it near the phone. That'd be impressive.

I— but, you know, I wanted to tell you about managing my mind because I would literally sit down on my couch, like, my head would be like, whoa, we've got a lot going on today. And I would be like, this is good. You want him to play school soccer. He has a team. He's met friends. He's part of something. He's excelling. His team is doing great. You love watching him. I literally would grab my mind and be like, oh no, I'm taking over. I'm managing you and I'm gonna tell you what it's like. And managing my mind is, I think, the biggest reason that I didn't go completely nuts this season.

What do you— yes, I would agree. The mind is a wonderful servant but a horrible master. You've got to be in charge.

You have to be in charge. And I had to give myself daily pep talks, and no joke, daily pep talks. You got this. And you would give me pep talks.

I do give you pep talks.

Like, I'm trying to remember some of the things you said to me. Do you remember any of them?

You can do it. We're gonna get everywhere where they need to be. It's gonna be okay. Everybody's gonna be You know, you kept them alive today. They all got fed, they all got dressed, they all got where they were supposed to go.

Well, and you would say things like, we're gonna do this together.

Yes, we're in it together.

Because sometimes I feel alone.

Yes.

And that was like the main reason I started this whole thing, is I was feeling alone.

Yes.

And when he says we're in this together, or how can I help you, like, it's like the best thing you can say to your wife.

So if any men are actually listening, um, I don't know, I think I got it from Tiffany's is probably pretty good.

Did you get me something from Tiffany's? You know, you can always do that.

See, look at that instant mood shift right there. That's good marketing.

Uh, you know, if you have multiple children, and I know some of you don't—

oh, Sandy, your Facebook posts and quotes help me. Awesome, we'll keep them coming.

I'm so glad. It helps me. I'm doing it for me too.

Emma says we are very much in this together.

Emma, Emma has been such a partner to me this school year. We are basically running the PTA together and having her like by my side, like doing everything with me. Like we don't want to feel alone. So Emma, thank you for doing it with me. And Seth, thank you for doing it with me. None of us are alone. All you have to do is reach out. I mean, if I posted in my group, you know, this, the ship is sinking, then everyone would be there to lift me up. So we all have people, we just need to tell our people when we need them.

Yes, use your support.

And I had to give myself permission. I am so happy that I actually carpooled. All of you carpooling people, I am not a carpooling person. This was probably my first season carpooling. I don't know why I think I have to do all the driving. Like, that's bizarre. Yes, we don't have to. Okay, so multiple children. If you have multiple children, one of the things I got to talk to a Pro soccer player slash soccer coach.

Soccer player, pro soccer player turned soccer coach.

Yeah, so you will— I will tell you, I will tell you when his podcast comes up because he has so much to share with us. And he was talking about balance, and he was like, you can't always be going to one child's soccer games. The other children will feel like the other— the soccer child is your favorite child. Like, we have to make sure all of our children are doing something that we love, they love, and that we're actually like attending and supporting. Yes, you know, because like all the grandparents showed up for everything and they're like, we can't go to a soccer game and then not go to Lily's cheer competition. And I was like, oh my God, they're such good grandparents. And they're right, like we need to spread it. And he also said that we don't want to do too much because it's not good for our marriage and it's not good for our family. We need time with our family and we need time with our house. And when Seth and I start to be two ships passing each other, I get really sad.

Yes.

And then I start to say to him, but I miss you.

Yes.

And then, would you remember when I would say like, you're leaving again?

Yes, it's a work thing.

No, it wasn't.

Oh, that was soccer.

No, because a lot of times, yes, you will come home from work and then leave for soccer.

Yes.

So then I don't see you.

Yes, you know, it didn't happen for necessarily for the school soccer season. That happens for his travel teams. Yes, the school, you were there.

Yes, in school a lot of times I was picking him up, right? So, um, so we did it, honey.

We did it. You did it.

We got through fall. Yes, I'm beyond proud of us. Are you proud of us?

I'm proud of us.

Um, what do you want to say about something you did successfully this fall?

What did I do successfully this fall?

Um, a lot, sure.

I, I don't know how to answer that question. Tried to make sure that I was doing my share of the driving and cheer— cheering them on and getting them places and supporting whatever it was they were doing that day.

My favorite thing was hearing Seth scream Black, Gold, and White!

Oh, I was cheering for the cheerleaders, being part of the cheer.

They would start cheerleading and they would say black, gold, and white, and Seth would be screaming with them, and it just like melted my heart.

I did not know that.

I love hearing him cheer.

I don't know if they get graded on audience participation, but it helps to get them all fired up.

You definitely help get them fired up.

Yes.

Um, so next fall it won't be my first year of cheer.

You will know where the bow goes, what lipstick to use, in which socks that don't show, but they need to wear them even though they don't show.

I'm hoping that it's a little bit easier.

Yes.

And I'm hoping that my mindset is even better and that I don't have all the anxiety that I had this year.

Right. Well, it won't be new.

And yeah, I just think that now I kind of know how to do a good job. And this year I was like, I don't know what I'm doing. What is this 4-finger rule?

Yes.

So you want to tell them about something?

Yes, I do. Um, all right, so we need your help, awesome people. Um, we need your help beta testing Rebecca's new app. That's right, there is a Winey Palooza app. Um, I would show it on my phone, but you won't be able to see it very well, so I printed it out. So you are going to go— and we'll put the link below— to winypalooza.passion.io. Your page will look like this. You're going to hit that pink button where it says Get It Now. It's going to ask you to confirm your order. It's free. So don't worry, you just have to register for it. It'll tell you your payment of $0 is successful. I'm telling you the steps. Then it will look like this. You will have awesome content. There's marital content, there's parenting content, there's all kinds of cool stuff in here from this wonderful lady for free. And then there's a little arrow. You're going to save it to your home screen if you know how to do that. There's a little arrow at the bottom, and then what happens is you have a little Winey Palooza icon It's—

where is it?

It's the W. You gotta go down right there. There's a Winey Palooza icon that will be on your phone, and you can get into the app anytime and see all the awesome content. So if you can go test it for us, let us know what you think before we submit it to the Apple App Store and the Google App Store. Please go to wineypalooza.passion.io, register for it. It's free. Let us know what you think. If there's bugs, let us know, we'll fix them.

So yes, help us test this. I continue to be blown away by my tech-savvy husband. Um, yeah, so thank you, Sandy. So, so I get to interview all of these women for my podcast and they they all have questions like, how do you do this? Or how do you do that? Or like, who does your video? And who does your content? And who markets for you? And I'm like, listen, I'm just the lady who shows up to talk to you.

That is not true. You are the talent. None of this would exist without you.

I'm like, I don't do any of the tech savvy stuff. So my heart is touched that you have built me an app. Oh, I'm touched. Oh, thank you. Um, I think he spent hours and hours and hours learning how to build this app.

Yes.

And I love being his guinea pig.

Yes.

And it's a WP button that the app looks like on your phone. Yeah, it looks like a WP when you get it. So I hope you like it. They can't see, honey.

Yes, you can. Okay, see the WP? When you save it to your phone, you will know you did it right because it will look like that.

Okay, well, thank you for my app.

You're welcome. I hope you all like it. Give us some feedback before we get it to the app stores.

Thank you for joining me again. Yes, thank you for doing fall with me, Seth.

Oh, my pleasure. That was to me.

Okay, um, yes, thank you for doing this, this with me, Seth, and thank you for getting through the fall with me.

Not with you, it's together.

Together. Together.

Those are my kids too, you know.

I know, I remind myself that every day.

You remind me every day.

So thank you everyone for joining us. I hope that you have a wonderful Halloween. I hope that you have some sort of fun plans planned.

Stay safe.

I am—

stay dry.

I am so happy that my kids want to trick-or-treat. I am savoring it because as they get older and older, there will come a time where none of them want to trick-or-treat.

I'll go trick-or-treating with you, honey, when they're too old.

Um, well then I'll pass out candy and get to see all the trick-or-treaters.

There you go, there you go.

But I'm gonna savor that they all want to trick-or-treat this year.

Yes.

Hey Ella, I did not check who was on the podcast this week, but a new one's gonna be awesome.

Go listen to it anyway.

I forgot to check, but this Friday is a new podcast.

iTunes, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, Pandora, Audible, and YouTube.

Come join the Winey Palooza mom group if you haven't. Get the app and get the app. Thank you for watching Winey Palooza Wednesday with the Green Family.

Cha-cha-cha again.

Have a good week.