Episode 030 My Life Suckers Whinypaluza Podcast with Deva Dalporto and Rebecca Greene

No need to whine, it's Whiny Palooza! Have some wine and join us on the Whiny Palooza Podcast with Rebecca Green.

Welcome to the Whiny Palooza Podcast. I'm your host, Rebecca Green. I'm a wife, mother of 3, and licensed clinical social worker. I also have 3 fur babies at home too. My passion has always been to help children and their families. I always dreamed of being a wife and a mother. Parents are always learning through their struggles, failures, and successes and joys. I am no stranger to this wild ride of parenting, and I know behind every great parent lies a team of supportive friends and family. I want to be part of your support system. I want you to know that you are not alone. We are in this parenting world together. Join me every week for insightful discussions with experts on parenting and marriage, as well as other parents who have found the secret to successes in parenthood. You'll learn tips and tricks to make life with your family better than ever. I hope you will follow along with me while we dive into what it takes to achieve a happy family.

Hello everyone, this is Rebecca Green for the Whiny Palooza podcast, and I am super duper excited that I get to talk to Deva Dalporto today. So welcome, Deva! Thank you, thank you for being here. For those of you who don't know, and I'm sure everybody knows who she is, but I'm going to introduce her anyway. She is known for her funny viral videos about motherhood and her music parodies, for which NBC dubbed her the Weird Al of YouTube Moms. Her videos have garnered more than 450 million views and have been featured on Good Morning America, The Today Show, ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox, CNN, People, HuffPost, Parents.com, Redbook, Good Housekeeping, and many more. Deva also has collaborated with dozens of top brands including Clorox, General Mills, JCPenney's, Clinique, Twizzlers, Chef Boyardee, and many others. Deva was one of the first women to create humorous viral videos about motherhood, and her work sparked an entire category of mom video creators and influencers, shaping the new real, raw, irrelevant mom— ooh, irreverent. Look at me, I'm not even saying the right word. Mom Content Prevalent Today. Let's introduce her properly. Can I just say wow to all of that? That's an awesome mouthful. Thank you. I am so, I am so impressed with you. And you know, I really want to sincerely tell you that, you know, it's been a hard year for so many people and we need to laugh. Like, you are bringing joy to to so many people. So I just wanted to start out by telling you thank you.

Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.

If you put on one of her videos, if you have not checked a video, go check it out. You will get up and you will start dancing and you will feel so much better.

You can laugh at me, I'm happy.

I am not laughing at you, I'm dancing with you.

Dance with me, laugh at me, laugh with me.

So I have to, I have to start with asking you Can you tell us what inspired you to make your first video?

Absolutely.

Back in the day?

Yeah, back in the day. Gosh, I am like OG YouTube.

Do people even use YouTube anymore? I think it's TikTok now. Yeah. I'm old, so maybe I don't count.

Yeah, same, same, same. Yes, back in 2013, I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder called Hashimoto's. And I had been working as a writer for Nickelodeon's parenting website, and we wrote funny parenting content.

Funny. Okay, that makes sense.

So I got a lot of chops there, and when I got Hashimoto's, I could barely make it through the day. You know when you're in that first trimester of pregnancy and you're so tired by 3 o'clock, you just want to call it? I was like that every day. Oh yeah, it was brutal. So I finally— I loved my job. It was a perfect mom job because I could hide in the bathroom and have a conference call and work on my own hours and times, work around nap time. So I was really reluctant to step away, but I physically had to.

So sorry.

Yeah, it was, it was rough. And so I went on medical leave I became very depressed. I had this incurable autoimmune disorder, which I now manage, but it was definitely a shock to the system. And I had wanted to be an actress, and my husband during this period of time bought me a video camera to cheer me up, and I was pissed. Can you say pissed on your podcast?

You totally can say that.

I felt pressured by it. You know, I just wasn't in a place where I felt like I wanted to use a video camera or create anything. And then I finally did, probably 9 months later, made a video with my family. I had The Fox was going viral, Elvis's song.

Yeah.

And I made a version called What Does the Kid Say?

I, I've heard it. It's awesome. So yeah, wipe me, wipe me, wipe my butt.

And the noises kids make. Instead of fox.

Yes, it's awesome.

And I ran home, hid in the closet, wrote the lyrics while they're all screaming for dinner, and invited over my best friend Jackie Haggerty and her family. And we shot the video in my backyard. We had no idea how to even use the camera. Taught ourselves, yeah, taught ourselves how to edit. My husband and I taught ourselves by watching YouTube tutorials.

Of course, right? Of course.

Learned iMovie. And then when it was done, we were like, this is really cute. Let's put it on YouTube so our friends and family can see it. And the day it went on YouTube, it got millions of views and it was nuts.

So you— were you just doing this for fun?

Yes.

You had no idea?

I mean, when I did it, there were no mom video creators, right? So I didn't even know that it was a thing that could exist.

Started it out.

Yeah, there were probably like beauty YouTubers and, you know, other kinds of YouTubers, but I was an old mom. I didn't know any YouTubers. I didn't even know— it took me 18 months before I understood you could get subscribers.

I mean, it took me a while too. I know there's always something new. I was telling my friend this morning, I, I mean, thankfully my husband keeps up. I can't keep up. Now he's talking about Clubhouse all the time and I'm like, stop, just stop.

I know, please do not give me another platform, please.

Can I just, can I just work on the podcast? Seriously. So you have so many awesome topics. Where does the inspiration come from for the songs?

The inspiration has always just come from my life, directly from my life. If you know me in real life, you know that I have no filter and I overshare.

Me too. There you go, see? I get it. I get it.

It drives my kids bananas, but yeah, so I'm just kind of an open book. And so, yeah, whatever is kind of going on in my life is what I share. I haven't created a lot of content this past year because the pandemic has been so hard and having the kids home so hard. And I feel like it's been mentally draining. I actually was on the Today Show with a bunch of amazing women talking about the impact the pandemic had on our careers and our livelihood.

Yes. It's like huge. I can't believe how many women have left their jobs, changed their jobs. I mean, we all, I mean, we were just talking about the fact that our kids are home today, you and I. Yeah.

I mean, you, as a woman, you want to be able to do it all, but there hits a point where doing it all can quite almost literally kill you. And that's what was kind of happening with my Hashimoto's is I was working and parenting 2 small kids. My husband worked out of state, so I only saw him on Saturdays. It was incredibly intense and I want to be able to do it all, but I think I've realized that sometimes something has to give. And usually that would be myself, right? My health, my exercise.

Yes, I know, I know. Well, you are very lucky and you touched on the fact that your kids get to go back to school. Which I'm like, oh, is it coming? Is it coming? So now that the kids are hopefully getting back to school, do you think that you're going to jump back in?

Yes, so my son went back. Yeah, my son went back in person about 2 weeks ago. So incredible. It had devolved to a place that was just not working. I mean, he would be naked in bed, refusing to turn on his camera on Zoom, playing video games on the sly. It was like, this is not working.

Yeah. How old are your kids?

They're 11 and 14.

Yeah, it's rough. I know, I know. My son, when he's in his room right now and I peek in and I'm like making sure he's not gaming. I, so I, I understand. Yeah, totally understand. I would love to know which video is your favorite and why.

Wow. It's like choosing a favorite child. Do you want to know that?

It's actually my question. Don't admit that. I'm totally, totally kidding, kids. You better hope they don't listen to this. Wow.

I mean, my husband's favorite is the first one, just because it was— and even the thumbnail for that is amazing, which I never changed. It's a horrible picture of my face with the volume icon over my mouth because we didn't even know what we were doing. Now I've got all these, you know, slick thumbnails with like cutout pictures and writing on them, but we just leave that one because we love it.

That's awesome.

I love the Adele parody because I got glammed up for it, and usually I just look like— like, I laugh when they say, oh, this celebrity posted a photo without makeup. I'm like, I never post a photo with makeup.

I know, I know. Everyone's always like, why do you have makeup on? Because I never put makeup on. Yeah, Suburban Funk was fun.

I loved that one. I don't know, I love them all. There's very few that I, I don't love, and I usually— they're like my little babies while I'm working on them. I love them. Um, I was recently kind of looking back at them like, wow, they're pretty great.

They really are. I mean, Suburban Funk is— I mean, I love them all, but I think that might— I might have to call that one my favorite.

One of my favorite things about that video as well is one of my best friends refused to ever be in my videos, and when we're in the beginning sitting on the bench, she's walking in the playground behind, and so she's in the video, and I love Yeah, she really wanted to get it and I got her.

That is awesome. I hope you showed her.

I'm sure she saw.

Oh yeah. What would you say that you like best about what you do?

The creating. Um, I love to create. I feel most excited and alive when I'm creating. The part I, I dislike is the promoting. I am not a natural salesperson or a self-promoter, and I wish that wasn't a part of being an online creator.

I know, I know, I know. My husband has a marketing business and he— his ideas, like, he's always in my head with his ideas and I'm like, can you just do it? I don't like that part.

Not my thing. And I love the community. I mean, I've made so many amazing connections through MyLifeSuckers. So that, that's amazing.

That's awesome. That's so great what you do. Can you tell us something positive that a mom has said to you that makes you want to keep providing more content for us?

Absolutely. Yeah, I would say in answer to your last question and this question, the comments that I receive are the things that do keep me going. Because let's be honest, creating— I mean, there was a point in time— I'm kind of on hiatus right now, but there was a point time where I was creating 3, 4 videos a week.

It is, it is a grind. That's a lot. That's a lot.

It's a lot of work. But then I would receive a message or an email from a mom who said, you made me feel less crazy. You helped me get through a really hard point in my life. And just, you know, a lot of people say, I thought I was the only one. And to know that you're not alone. For me too, right? When I made my first video, I thought I was the only one, right? Maybe I was the only one who couldn't pee alone. Maybe I was the only one because when all you saw were these media representations of women who were juggling it all flawlessly and their kids in their matching white outfits, right? It's like, then you're like, oh, my life does not look like that. We've got like spaghetti sauce all over our white outfits, right?

Yes. Yes, your first video, I was like, wow, like she just like honed in on exactly what kids say all the time. The wipe my butt, wipe my butt. I'm like, I still say, I mean, I'm not going to embarrass her, but I'm like, we're past this. Like, no, we don't do this anymore. Yeah, yeah.

Hygiene is a long process. I will tell you now, with tweens and teens, it's like, okay, can you flush the toilet?

Oh my God, that's one of our biggest fights. See? You understand.

I am living it.

I'm like, it's like 2 seconds. You really seriously can't flush the toilet? Yeah. Oh my gosh. Can you tell me, you have so much more experience than I do. How do you handle the negative comments? Can you give me some advice with that? Sure.

So My first video was posted on Reddit Cringe, and I don't know if you've ever heard of it.

No!

It's basically a subreddit where they post cringeworthy things and then they attack you. And so that very first video, I was not planning on being a YouTuber. I didn't even know YouTuber existed, really. Um, and I got attacked. Death threats, rape threats, told the reason people shoot school children was because of me, and all, all these crazy things.

Oh my gosh.

And in a way though, it was a gift, right? Because it was so brutal and so intense, and it showed me kind of the dark side so early on. And so I feel like I kind of became numb to it a little bit. Also got advice from, like, Jill at Scary Mommy, who we'd worked together at Nickelodeon. She told me, "Ignore the trolls. Don't engage." So I think that was really good advice that I normally follow. Every once in a while I will crack and something will get to me or I'll respond. Recently I had an incident where I kind of responded and got caught up in something and just have to really, really, really try to realize these people don't really know you. You know, if your content's— my content doesn't even curse, but if it's offending you, I'm sorry.

Gosh, I just am always perplexed. Obviously we love positive comments because we're doing this because we want to help people. But when someone says something negative, I'm like, what possesses someone? Why do you even need to say that? It's just so sad. But thankfully there's a million more positive comments. There are.

Yeah, the ratio is pretty good.

Yes. Yes. So we joke a lot about motherhood, but what is your favorite part? About being a mom? Cooking dinner, the laundry. No, I'm kidding. No, never the laundry.

I would say as they get older, something else as well, but I will say from just the incredible, deep, insane amount of love that you are capable of as a human being. Like, of course I love my husband and I love my friends and love my family, but the love that you have for your children is unparalleled. And to be able to be capable of something like that as a human being, I mean, what else are we here for, right?

Right, right. It's so true. I can—

go ahead.

No, go ahead.

And as they get older, I think something I'm really loving is just how amazing they are, and I'm watching them become human beings. Like, my son is the funniest, most clever. He has the comedic timing of— and he just, he cracks me up every day, and I just, I love it so much. And my daughter is just such a fierce, amazing young woman who's just really impressive. And I think it's really cool to be like, oh, I made you.

I totally know that is true. And, uh, I can imagine where he gets his, uh, comedic talents from.

Totally not my engineer MIT husband.

Yeah, no, no. Okay, what about the least? What do you, what do you like least about parenting?

One of my best friends once, when our kids were still really little, called me and said, "I didn't realize there would be so much unhappiness." And I think, yeah, the, the relentlessness, the exhaustion, the crankiness, the fighting, the battles over just, you know, last night my son said, why are you so cranky? And I said, I have asked you to get into the shower like 17 times. I don't want to have to keep repeating myself.

I know. And they wonder. And it's like the 17th time. Yes.

Well, I don't know if you saw my, it's a very short 30-second video and it's called Why Moms Yell. And it is one of my biggest videos. I think it has gotten tens of millions of views, but all it is, is me asking nicely for my daughter to get her shoes on. Nicely, a little less nicely, a little less nicely, and then losing my mind and then her going, oh my God, like, why are you always yelling?

It is like, it floors me. It is like, did you hear me? How nice I was the first time.

I was so nice the first time. I'm so nice like the first 400 times.

Oh my goodness. What is the best advice you have ever gotten?

Regarding parenting or life or—

Life, life, parenting, whatever you think.

I think, and this is resonating with me right now where I am in my life, An old boyfriend's mother, when I was in college, told him that life is a marathon, not a sprint. And that advice has been really important in my life because I didn't— I wanted to be an actress. It didn't work out. I then had children. I came to kind of getting any kind of career success kind of later. In my 30s. And I think realizing that there are so many things you can do in your life and you don't have to do it all at once. And you don't— when I was in LA trying to be an actress and I was 22 and I wasn't getting any parts and I felt like a total failure, right? You can realize life is a marathon. There is time for everything. And Right now I'm kind of trying— I'm calling this year the year of the re, like rejuvenation, recovery.

I like that.

And I'm trying to give myself time and a breath and a break and realize life's a marathon. Like, I can continue creating, you know, when I'm ready. You don't have to do it all at once. You can pause and focus and do the laundry for a little while and your career will still be possible.

It's such good advice. That's such good advice. I can still see you like being hysterical on the movie screen. Like, I feel like the movie deals are coming.

Come on, baby, bring them, bring them.

I see it in the future.

My only bummer is the part of Moira on Schitt's Creek is already taken because—

Totally, totally. You— I don't know, I could see you making everybody laugh on screen. So that's still might be coming. And speaking of which, what do you have coming up that you're excited about?

Well, speaking of which, I did write a television pilot. Oh yeah, so that's exciting.

And that's amazing.

Yeah, trying to figure out, you know, how, how would I make that possible? I am so used to creating my own content and not having anyone standing in the way of me being able to do what I want to do. So there's a very big part of me that just wants to produce it myself.

Yeah.

Um, so I'm kind of, yeah, figuring that out. And I also started writing a book. I feel like this year of COVID has been a kind of more internal year for me, and, um, been working on that as well. And so, um, yeah, I kind of feel like I, I started my career— well, started, started as an actress a failed actress, and then—

yes, it's okay—

and then was a writer for a long time, and then a performer for about a decade, and now I feel like I'm sliding back into the writing.

So awesome. Well, I'm excited to see what's to come. That would be awesome to have My Life Suckers as a sitcom. So totally, come on, let's do it. What else would you like to share that I didn't ask you? Anything I missed?

Hmm, I don't think so. I loved your questions there. I feel like I'm just talking to a girlfriend. It's really nice to meet you.

It's so nice to meet you too. I was so excited. It's so funny, you feel when you find people online, you feel like you're getting to know them, but you're really not getting to know them. And I was like, oh my gosh, I get to actually meet her. Yeah, so fun. So much fun. Can you tell everyone where to go find you?

Absolutely. No, well, this is breaking news. I just launched and haven't even shared it yet, davadalporto.com, and yeah, you can find everything— my social media, my writing, my blog, my videos, of course.

That's awesome. So you put it all in one place.

I put it all in one place. It was very exciting to kind of collate it and bring it all together. But also, you know, Facebook, My Life Suckers by Deva Dalporto, Instagram @mylifesuckers, the TikTok, as I called it the other day in the car, and my kids were like, oh my God.

My daughter is begging me and I'm like, come on, really? You want me to? She's like, please get a TikTok account. I'm like, you don't want me to have a TikTok.

You would be great on TikTok. I support your daughter in this. I agree.

Okay, maybe I'll do it for you.

Yes.

Oh my gosh. Well, thank you for taking time out of your crazy day with children home today. I really appreciate it.

Oh, thank you. It was so nice to meet you.

So nice to meet you. This is Rebecca Green reminding everyone to spend every day laughing, learning, and loving.

Thank you for tuning in to the Winey Palooza podcast. If you like what you heard, please be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. While you are there, leave a review. I love to hear your feedback. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time. This show has been produced by Market Domination LLC.

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