Episode 143 Stress Free College Admissions with Anne Marie Comaratta

No need to whine, it's Whiny Palooza! Have some wine and join us on the Whiny Palooza podcast with Rebecca Green. Welcome to the Whiny Palooza podcast. I'm your host, Rebecca Green. I'm a wife, mother of 3, and licensed clinical social worker. I also have 3 fur babies at home too. My passion has always been to help children and their families. I always dreamed of being a wife and a mother. Parents are always learning through their struggles, failures, and successes and joys. I am no stranger to this wild ride of parenting, and I know behind every great parent lies a team of supportive friends and family. I want to be part of your support system. I want you to know that you are not alone. We are in this parenting world together. Join me every week for insightful discussions with experts on parenting and marriage, as well as as other parents who have found the secret to successes in parenthood. You'll learn tips and tricks to make life with your family better than ever. I hope you will follow along with me while we dive into what it takes to achieve a happy family. This is Rebecca Green for the Whiny Palooza podcast, and I am seriously over the moon excited for my guest today. I have Anne Marie Camarata with me today. Anne Marie, thank you so much for being here.

Oh my gosh, Rebecca, thank you. It's my pleasure. I'm just as excited.

Anne-Marie has an amazing business and I'm going to introduce you to her, but first I want to tell you that I met her 30 years ago. Can you believe it? And I can't believe it.

How are we that old?

I was going to say, I don't want to make either of us feel old, but we met 30 years ago. So anyways, Anne-Marie is Absolutely fabulous. She is a mother of 2, a strong widow, a longtime educator, and a founder of Stress-Free Admissions. As an independent college consultant, she works with high school students and their families as they navigate college admissions. From helping students choose schools to creating dialogue between parents and kids about finances, from polishing kids' essays college essays, to helping students select teacher recommendations. Annemarie's services are intended to take the stress and anxiety out of the college admission process. We all need this. Every single one of us needs this, no matter how old your child is. Annemarie is going to help us and teach us. And this is perfect for me. So I am so excited.

Oh, great. I'm excited too.

So I'm going to start at the beginning because I'm so curious what inspired you to open a college admissions consulting firm? How did you land there?

So I was— I've been a long-time educator. As you said in my bio, I taught in a variety of capacities at the middle school level, at the high school level, mostly as an English teacher in both independent schools and private schools in New York, like New York City, Annapolis, Maryland, and then here in Buffalo. And what I really love best about my work as an English teacher was really the one-on-one time working with students through the writing process. This is where I just felt like the opportunity to make a connection with a student, to hear the student's story, and to help that student kind of develop their voice, just to me, that was like the epitome of what I loved in the practice of teaching. So that's kind of what sparked my interest in really working on college essays. So that really kind of led to me just in kind of like an informal way, helping people in my life, whether it was family members. My husband had like, you know, 20 nieces and nephews. So all of those nieces and nephews I helped, and then it started to be other family friends. So I had another really great friend from high school, Allison Newman, who's my year— are you friends with the Newmans?

I swear I know that name. Now I'm gonna have to look her up.

Yeah. So Allison did graduate work in school counseling. So we had both moved back to Buffalo from— she from New York, me from Baltimore— and we reconnected. And it was actually with her that we kind of came up with this idea. And this is like now about 12 years ago, um, really seeing that there was a market for people who needed guidance in selecting schools and then really kind of be having, um, you know, just some support through the entire process from school choice through creation of Common App through essay writing through determining what school might be the best fit once those admissions offers came in. So we kind of built the business together and then eventually she decided to, um, you know, just kind of pursue another, another career. She worked for S&S Buffalo. She now works for Gateway Longview. And then I— the business became my own. So I mean, as a person who, you know, when I was in college, I had a double major in studio art and philosophy. Like, never in a million years did I think I would be a small business owner, right? But here I am, and it's turned out to be such a perfect fit for me as a career. And it's something that I kind of I like to share this anecdote with my students that sometimes you really don't know where your path's going to lead. And the job that you, you might have, it might not even exist yet. I didn't know that this was an option, right? I like built this job for myself. So I feel like there's a sort of parallel in my path and in the way that I try to approach guiding my own students.

Makes so much sense. And I love that you were an English teacher because how perfect to help with essays. I mean, it's like absolute perfection. And no, nobody knew that this career existed. And it's such a needed career.

It is, I think, especially with the shifting culture surrounding college admissions, things have really changed since the time, say, you or I were applying to college. It's a really different landscape. And for better or worse, I do think students and families really benefit from the support and guidance through the process in a way that, you know, you know, my parents were like, oh, what colleges do you want to apply to? I sat down with a typewriter, a typewriter, and did this myself, and a lot of whiteout. Typewriter and a lot of whiteout.

Yes, I remember that.

I remember. It's, I think the changing nature of college admissions really has opened up a lot more opportunities for people who do the kind of work that I do.

Well, and you know, my oldest is a freshman, and I speak for most parents that the process sounds so stressful. I mean, why do you think that families find this process so stressful?

So I have a lot of thoughts about this. I think on one level it represents this shift from childhood to adulthood, which is anxiety-producing for both child and parents. You know, you're really thinking about, okay, all of the work that I've done from age 0 to 17 or 18 is now being put to the test to see, will my kid be able to fly out of the nest and exist on his own? Um, is he— so there's, there's that anxiety, like, which I actually think is unfounded, right? Because I, I think that it's an unfair amount of anxiety for parents to, to put on themselves. And if a child decided to not go to college or take a gap year or do a year at community college, those are really valid and good choices. But I think that a lot of families put this pressure on them themselves. They make it representative of something that it isn't necessarily. Then I think there's also a layer of— I don't know what I would call it— a kind of prestige or external validation that comes from if my student gets into School X, it's clearly an indication that I've succeeded as a— oh my gosh, I work as a photographer and content— I'm sorry, I just like had a weird ad come on. Sorry, I don't know what that was. So I think that there's a kind of external validation piece. So if my child gets into Cornell or if my child gets into an Ivy League school, obviously I have succeeded as a parent. And this guarantee is success for him as an adult, which you and I both know as adults, and any adult listening to this, when you think about who's the most quote-unquote successful adult that you know, and I think the definition of successful is, is something that's, you know, could be debated. Yeah, it's not necessarily the person who went to the most selective school. It's not. So I think that, but, but nonetheless, that realization, I, I don't think translates to when you're helping your own kid do college applications. There is this, I think, desire for the, the validation or prestige that comes with your child getting into a highly selective school. So I think that's a piece of it. I think for parents, obviously, the money piece of it is extremely, extremely anxiety-producing when you look at the price tag of, of college, of 4 years of college. And then I think for students, And this is where, like, my heart really aches for a lot of students. Their workload is shockingly high. Like, it's— and even in my, you know, 10, 12 years of doing this work, especially so in the last 5 years, and of course the last 2 years have been unprecedented, right? The level of anxiety related to academic performance, um, peer, uh, perception of peers, all of it is like cranked up to 12 on a 1 to 10 scale. So then when you add on top of that, oh, you're going to do a set of college applications that could potentially determine your future. And by the way, you need to write the most important essay of your life. And maybe a couple more for schools. It's enough to like send kids off the edge. Oh my gosh, so I think there's so many reasons that this is a stressful situation, but again, I, I don't feel like it needs to be, right? Um, no, I always say to students, no decisions need to be made right now. All we need to do is keep putting one step one foot in front of the other, completing the tasks, the short-term tasks that need to be completed to get to this long-term goal of having college applications to submit. And that's all we really need to focus on. We don't need to be thinking about how is what I do right now in this moment going to affect who I am 10 years from now, because as you and I both know, so many things can happen in between.

Well, and you just— I think you just answered my question because I was going to say, how do you come in and ease the stress? But I think what you're describing is that we come in, parents and child, and we think about like where we have to get to, and we're not thinking— we don't know all the steps and how to take it step by step. Would you agree with that?

Exactly, exactly. And I think turning the process from something that's kind of like theoretical or philosophical into something that's very practical feels grounding. Like, I'm a person who really loves a to-do list. Like, here's just what I have to do and I'm just gonna get it done. So that's really how I try to approach it when I meet a family for the first time. We create a to-do list and say, here are the tasks that we need to take care of in, you know, say the next week or the next month or the next 6 months. And then we just have a checklist to complete, and then when we reconvene for a subsequent meeting, we start by going through the checklist. So depending on the age of the student, that checklist, you know, if I'm meeting with a student who's a 9th grader, it's going to look very different than if I'm meeting with a student who, you know, every now and then I'll meet with a senior in, you know, September, and that checklist looks real different.

Okay, so back up because you said 9th grade. So tell us when we can start meeting with you.

So I, um, I would say the majority of the students I meet with are juniors, um, and I think that really any time junior year is a good time to meet. I would say preferably it would be in the fall of junior year or like early winter so we can really think about senior year courses. So before that course selection happens, which is typically going to be January, February, we can really talk about what courses are going to be chosen for senior year. So then you don't have to go— because I'm meeting with some juniors right now, we've revised some of the course choices, so now they have to go back to guidance and redo the course list. So the majority of my students are juniors, but I meet with many sophomores. I love meeting with a sophomore. I actually think that's the ideal time to meet. Because it's becoming a little bit more real for them, but they, they have so much time and flexibility. So especially if a student, say, is a year ahead in math, like started, like did Algebra 1 in 8th grade, I think that meeting sophomore year is the perfect time because typically I would want that student to be taking an SAT or ACT during junior year, maybe the fall, maybe the spring. And just like I said, working on that step-by-step process of like, all right, where are we going to fit in some test prep? Let's look at what sports you do, what other clubs and activities you have. Where is it most realistic and feasible to fit in 6 to 8 weeks of test prep?

My, my eyes started touching.

Totally. And we can talk more about— we can talk more about tests too, because a lot of schools are going to remain test optional. But I really think for a year ahead in math student meeting, sophomore year is the right time to meet. I definitely meet with freshmen as well. I, I'll be honest between you and me, I think when I meet with freshmen, it is more helpful for the parents than for the kid. And, um, the kids are either a little too, like, overwhelmed or spaced out, or they're actually so already keyed up and anxious about the college admissions process that my advice to them is honestly to chill out for the kid. Like, it's gonna be okay, you know? So I really think sophomore year, that's a really good time to meet.

Now SATs, I believe, are optional, correct?

Yeah, so during COVID right, the first COVID year, schools had to become test optional because it was actually impossible to sit for an SAT. So, you know, kids who had registered— I think it was kind of half and half— that March 2020 SAT, some states held it, some states didn't. That was like literally as COVID was hitting, it was mid-March. Everything else was canceled. Things started to They started to try to reschedule some things, but then test centers would sometimes have to cancel tests. It was a complete hot mess. So because of that, really the majority of schools had to become test optional. They continued that test optional policy for last year. And I think really looking ahead, certainly for class of 2023, the majority of schools will continue to be test optional. Class of 2024, it's hard to say. When I'm meeting with sophomores now, I'm actually advocating, go ahead, let's actually do test prep because I'd rather play it safe in case you do apply to a school that might require a test. So for example, the state schools in Florida, Florida State, FSU, University of Central Florida, they're test mandatory. You have to send them something. Um, so there's like little schools here and there that definitely require a test still. Um, you know, the Ivies, I think they'll remain test optional. It's to their advantage. I actually think it gives them some flexibility. In terms of admissions. And strong students are probably still going to take the test, and they're probably going to still send test scores in. But there are some systems like the University of California— and I don't know if this policy will change, I'll have to look for next year— but, um, the past 2 years they've actually been like, you can't send the test. Like, it's not like test optional, it's no tests. Like, do not send us one, we are not considering scores. Yeah, so it's a changing landscape for sure, but I would say if you have a kid who's historically done pretty well on tests, like has done well on the New York State tests, um, I, I was gonna say has done well on Regents except we haven't had Regents. This year is going to be the first time, right? So, but if you have a kid who's historically done well, um, I probably would err on the side of doing the SAT or ACT prep just to kind of play it safe. Um, anecdotally, like, I mean, I don't— this is not like based on scientific evidence, this is just based on the cohort of students that I worked with this year, my current seniors. I would say generally speaking, my students who had a test score and submitted it, a test score that was high and submitted it, did better this year in admissions.

I would think— I mean, I know nothing, but my, my guesstimate as a parent would be to take the test. That's what I— right, that's what I would tell my kid.

I think it's worth it. I think it's not a bad idea. I definitely also advocate for students, um, I, I would, I would do a test prep course is what I'm trying to say. I think it's This material isn't intuitive, and even really smart kids I think sometimes struggle to figure out strategy and timing on these tests. So I think the investment of whatever, $500, $700 in a prep course with real buy-in from your kid that they're gonna do the work, it's definitely, definitely worth every dollar. So I agree.

I totally agree with you. I did not enjoy those tests, by the way.

Oh God, me neither. I really didn't, you know, and it's funny because I don't know for you, I randomly took the ACT. I felt like it was kind of a newer test. I was like, I guess I'll take this too. And I ended up doing much better on the ACT than the SAT. And I felt like my SAT scores were like nothing special. But the ACT was a much better test for me. So that's a question that a lot of families have for me. Do 'Do I do ACT or do I do SAT?' All schools will equally accept either test, so you would submit the score that your child's done better on, and there's concordance charts you can see how the scores translate. But a lot of test prep companies will let you, um, your child do like a mini diagnostic test, so, um, to see what— I don't know what, what test they kind of click with a little bit better.

That makes sense. And I totally was the same as you. I did better on the ACT. Not surprised, not surprised.

Yeah.

Well, and you've talked about some of the mistakes. I mean, what are common mistakes that you see parents making in this process?

Um, so I think on one level, one mistake I see parents make is like stoking the drama, you know, like being on their kids about, you need to do this, you need to do that. Like It's so funny when I have families come to me, I can tell like sometimes there's so much tension in the room, like the parent and kid can't even talk to each other. I feel like I'm a therapist. Yes. And like, again, because like I said before, because it's such an anxiety-producing process, everybody's nerves are like frayed surrounding this and everybody's ready to snap. So I think, and I mean, it's easy for me to say, I guess, because I haven't had a kid go through this. Myself. Luca's only— he'll be 13. Um, but this is just based on my observations of the students with whom I've worked, is that the parents who let their kids have some autonomy in this process, the kids, I think they do better with their applications, and I think they do better on their transition to college because they have ownership of the process and they have ownership of the choice. Of the school. Now, working with somebody like me, I'll still tell you on the back end as a parent, between parent and me, what's happened. So I think that's a nice option almost to kind of outsource the telling your kid what to do. I'll tell your kid what to do, and the kid's definitely gonna listen to me in the way that he or she listens to the teacher. And they don't listen to you. I mean, that I can say in my own experience, I've definitely dealt with, with my own child. You know, I could say the same thing that the teacher says, but when the teacher says it, it has a lot more authority. So I think working with a consultant can kind of diffuse that. So I think that's a long way of saying I see parents really, really push kids in ways that back— that they backfire.

Well, and even the guidance counselor said some things to Max that he listened to, and And I didn't say to him, well, I told you that already. I didn't say that. I just know that adults like you would probably do better with him than him listening to me.

Right. It's just like that one of those odd paradoxes that like, for whatever reason, our kids listen to other adults better than us.

Yes.

You know, and I think it's normal. I think it's probably, I mean, I'm not a psychologist, but part of the detachment that's appropriate for adolescents, right? They, they don't want to be fully aligned with their parents. They're trying so much to have their own identity. They don't think that their parents understand them, you know. So I think that that's, that's definitely something I see for sure.

So, well, and in this process and in so many other processes, I find that I'm underestimating my children. And I think that, you know, I'm thinking of myself in this process. I'm not there yet. But I'm, I'm so controlling that I would have to back myself up and remind myself how capable my kids are.

Yes, exactly. And I, I'm with you on this because I have these tendencies with my own children as well. Um, but like I said, it's almost like this kind of training ground for what's going to happen in college. Like, you're not going to be there anymore. I'm not going to be able to like check my son's backpack, make sure that he packs his baseball shoes. Like, he's got to have some responsibility. So I think that, yeah, kind of having not a completely laissez-faire approach, but to really let your kid have a little bit of ownership of the process is really beneficial for sure.

I love that advice.

Yeah, um, in terms of other mistakes that parents make, I mean, I think one big thing that I do see with students is the inappropriate school list. Where there are so many highly selectives that it's just going to lead to an incredible amount of disappointment. Um, like, admissions has been really tough lately. Like, when you look at the data, there's a massive increase in just number of applications at many schools, especially the more competitive schools. And there's— I mean, there's a lot of potential reasons why that's the case. Part of it, I think, is with Common App, it's just easier to apply to more schools. And because schools have been test optional, students are able to apply to schools that they wouldn't have been able to apply to if they had to submit that SAT or ACT score. So times have been tough. We're looking at like sub-10% acceptance rates at Ivy League schools, right? Like, just nuts. So if you've got a list, you've got 10 schools and 6 of those schools are super highly selective, you might not get into any of those 6 schools. But if we build a list that is appropriate where you're definitely going to get some yeses, and that's also appropriate in terms of the fin— like the financial piece, then everybody's happy all around. So I really encourage the, um, a really mindful selection of schools and to be really very realistic. Like, every parent thinks that their kid is— well, not every parent, but many parents think that their kid is like absolutely amazing and exceptional. And they are, they are amazing and exceptional to you, you know, which is how it's supposed to be. But when you've got 20,000 applications, you know, um, it, it's really difficult sometimes to, to determine who's getting in and who's not getting in. And I think it can just lead to a lot of disappointment. So really taking a look at those schools that you know your kid's going to get into, and that's great for the kid too, you know, just to have that. I like to have a rolling admission or a non-binding early action at a school that I know that kid's going to get into. So boom, right away you have a yes. That does a world of good for everybody's peace of mind and confidence in this.

That is really, really good advice. And these last 2 years, this is what I wanted to ask you. I feel like so many kids put off going to college that I wonder if admissions applications are even higher right now because the people who held off the last 2 years are now applying.

Yeah, I definitely think that that's one of the factors too, in the, some of the issues with admissions right now. You have kids who took gap years, you have kids who are accepted and then deferred. So you've got some schools where if you have a class of 1,000 students, maybe already 15 of those or 50 possibly are going to be filled by kids who did a deferral, did a gap year, etc., who wouldn't have been part of that particular kind of demographic class year. So I kind of feel like for a little while, we might see the effects of, of that, of just COVID's impact on college admissions.

Yes, I'm hoping that dies off by the time Max gets to this point.

I think so too. I hope so. I really do. For my students who are that age, I'm really hoping it's going to feel a little bit more, a little bit more normal, you know, whatever normal is.

Yeah, whatever. If we remember what normal is.

I know, guy. Exactly.

So I know every parent is thinking this question. I know I'm thinking this question. Does a 17-year-old have to have everything figured out?

Oh my goodness, no. Right? Let's think about ourselves at 17. Right? Yeah, so that is— I will say that is like one of my greatest like pet peeves. It's more than a pet peeve, that's not a strong enough word with the current state of whether it's college admissions or just the culture of high school. And again, I think that it's a couple things. I think that because there is this large financial commitment that you make to sending your child to college, you want your child to graduate and have an actual job, right? Um, so I think there is this push or desire to have your kid know what he wants to study. So these 4 years of college seem like they've been a good value for that reason, good return on investment, my kid's going to graduate, and this is what he's going to do. So, but I think that, and I get that, I get that, that, that tendency and that desire. But I do think it puts a inappropriate level of pressure on the kid to know, right? Kids who've taken literally 1 year of bio and maybe a year of AP bio, and they're like, oh, I want to be a doctor. Like, really? Do you really know that? You know, that, that ability to explore or figure things out or to entertain the idea that you don't know what you don't know. Part of going to college is going to be figuring some of that out. Out. There's not a whole lot of space for that right now in the American education system, and everybody's being pushed so almost like, like involuntarily through this type of system. So I— a lot of schools now, I mean, the majority of schools have, and it's usually a student-run Instagram, so you can't blame the school, but I think it's really indicative of the culture they'll do a seniors page. So I love following the seniors pages for all the high schools. And they'll say what college the kid's going to, and then what they're studying. So it'll be like, so, and they'll use the language of a kind of sports recruiting for it. They'll say, so-and-so's committed to Duquesne to study early childhood education. Like, okay, like, you could go ahead and say the school, but then I think it puts tons of pressure to be like, Oh, well, what school have I chosen? What if you're on a waitlist and you're waiting to see, like, what's going to happen? You might not come off that waitlist until June. Who knows? And then, but the part that I think is especially absurd is to say, like, this is what I'm going to study. I don't know about you, I changed my major 2 times when I was in college, you know. So I, I think it's definitely, um, and I don't know how to push against that, or how to encourage kids to accept this idea that there's still a little bit more time to explore, and this pressure to figure out exactly who you are and what you're going to do is actually unhealthy.

I think that I fell hard senior year for psychology. And I think that I went into college, took as many psychology classes as I could, and found my place. But I don't think I am the norm. I think it's more common to really go to college and not know what the heck you want to do.

Uh, absolutely. Or like, I've got a lot of students who are at like the private schools, so they've never taken, say, a business business class, right? They've never taken accounting, they've never taken finance. And, you know, they're saying like, I either A, want to study business but don't have a lot of familiarity with what that actually looks like, or I want to do engineering, but they actually might love finance. Like they might just have a mind for, for those kinds of numbers. They don't know until they really get into college and they're able to do a little bit of that like exploratory coursework. So it's tough though, because for some schools you do have to apply into a particular undergraduate college. So you, you do have to— at some schools you do have to have somewhat of an idea, though not exactly. But you know, you could be like undecided business or undecided arts and sciences. But you do have to be in a particular undergraduate division. So it's tough. I really feel for these kids, you know.

Oh my gosh. Well, and to have someone like you through the process, I mean, I was reading through your testimonials. People just love you and find you so helpful. I mean, what do you think are the keys to that, to people finding you so helpful?

Um, I don't know. I mean, I think just really being like a couple things, willing and focus on connecting with the student, having the student feel like heard, safe, empowered, all of it. Like we all remember what it's like to have a teacher really love you and hear you. That's so important to me. And I really want to do that for each of my students to really like have fun and get to know them. Like we definitely laugh, like, and I try to be accessible to them. Like, you know, I'll have students definitely text me like with quick questions, like I, I try to be available as much as possible for those like panic moments of like, oh wait, like remind me again what I need to do, you know, and to have really open lines of communication with student and parents. So again, those unique situations where I might have a family where the kids and the parents are really struggling and they're not getting along that well, and they need me to kind of like work around and let, you know, update the parents on what's going on. I have lots of families with divorced parents, so I need to just kind of do the communicating with parents individually or just trying to meet families where they are and, you know, just walk them through the process in a way that's appropriate for them.

I just feel like all, even all of my stress just like went way down listening to you. I love that you're walking people through this. You didn't know you were going to become a therapist, did you?

No, I, I didn't. It's so funny, like I said, it does feel a little bit like therapy sometimes. You know, I think that people are so nervous about making an irrevocable mistake, and that's what I try to say to parents and kids all the time. Like, there actually are no mistakes in this process. There are no mistakes, right? It's just choices and learning. So I think when we take off that— when we take off the table this idea that there's this like make-or-break aspect to this, that, that gets rid of, I think, some of, some of the tension and some of the anxiety.

That's really, really good advice. And you've had your own journey and you've talked a little bit about that. How has your own journey made you even better at this?

I think that it has just, you know, so as you know, my husband was very sick. He was sick for 2 years. He had leukemia. He died at age 39. My kids were very young at the time. It was a brutal experience to have You know, I thought that my life, the idea, like, so in a way, I guess now when I think about it, I had my life kind of planned. I'm like, oh, you know, my husband's a banker. Like, I'm going to teach and do a little bit of this on the side. My kids are going to, you know, go to this school and that school and that school. I had this idea of my life and it was very set, right? I had committed to this and was majoring in that. Yes. And it was completely upended. Completely upended. And I think that kind of seismic, kind of catastrophic shift had the effect of just deepening my capacity for empathy in a way that I didn't know was possible. And I feel like I'm really better able to see kids and families and where they are because of that and just like really feel in my heart some of the fear, stress, anxiety that, you know, these kids or families might be going through, you know. And of course, the irony is kids will say to me all the time, I don't have a good story to write about in an essay. Like, nobody ever died except like my grandma.

Oh my God.

And I'm like, you don't have to write it. Like, you don't have to have a dramatic story, you know, like my story. It's, it's just a process of, I think, more getting to know who you are and what's real and true for you. And I think going through what I went through, in addition to increasing empathy, really was a process of me getting to know who I am authentically in a way that honestly, I probably wouldn't have had to have done had my life stayed on the course that I thought it was going to. You know. So, um, and I think for me, writing has been— I've always loved to write, and writing has been incredibly important and therapeutic, sharing my own story. And I think that that really informs my approach to helping students tell their own stories. Like, I actually think the college essay, rather than being a chore, can can almost be this kind of capstone sort of activity, and it's a type of writing that kids haven't been doing for a while. They've been doing DBQs in, you know, AP US History. They've been doing, you know, these kind of like expository essays. They've been doing lab reports, but they haven't been doing a piece of personal narrative writing in a really long time. So I think that kind of self-examination and the process of telling one's own story. I think, yeah, it's happening in the context of college admissions, but I think it can be like centering, oddly enough, for a lot of kids.

So it sounds like a therapeutic process to me.

Yeah, I don't know if there's some of my students who would probably say no, but I think a lot of students would say yes.

They—

I, I love when a kid just feels feels so proud and so good about their essay. That makes me feel really happy.

Well, going on that line, what is your favorite part about what you're doing?

Oh gosh, there's a lot of favorite parts. I knew you were gonna say that. Yeah, um, I think like, I just like love meeting— I love meeting people. I love meeting new people, and I love of hearing about their lives and hearing their stories. I love that. I love it. And I just like really genuinely like teenagers as like humans. Like I think it's an— I may change my mind once my own child is like 15 or 16, but I think it's just incredible time of people's lives. That, that transition from childhood to adulthood, that process of starting to figure out who you are in the world. I love getting to be a witness to that. I love getting to be present for that. I just really like, like being with, with people that age. So I love my students. They're hilarious. They teach me a lot of things that I don't know. Just of like cultural things, um, and they're funny, you know, um, so I just— that, that piece I really love. I really do. So I also love the flexibility of this job too. After being a classroom teacher for many, many years, which I also loved, um, there's a flexibility here that is— it's absolutely amazing, um, in terms of being like a solo working mother, um, it's ideal. Um, so, you know, and I just love that the one-on-one, which that you can't do as a classroom teacher, that you want to do all the time but your classes are too big, there's not enough, there's not enough time in the day, you know, you can do it but maybe you can do it for 5 minutes, but here I get to do it for an hour, you know, anytime I meet an individual student and that's That's amazing.

So that, that is absolutely amazing. And I hope that my mother listens to this because what I want to say is that I wanted to be a kindergarten teacher my whole life. And one day she said to me, you know, I really want you to find something that you can do part-time around children. She's like, I feel like that's what you need to do. And it was the best advice. And I would love being a kindergarten teacher. You know, I would. You'd be amazing. I mean, that, that would have been so much fun, but I get to work when I want to work around my children, and I think there's something to be said for a flexible job.

Oh, absolutely. And like I said, I didn't know that this was a thing that existed, you know, a process of really developing. And, and I think that that really is going to be like big picture, and I'll sometimes have conversations with some students about this, that you know, this job that you're working toward either might not exist, or another type of job might exist that doesn't exist yet. And part of what you're doing is potentially creating that. Yeah, so it's a very, very changing world. 10 years ago, I didn't think that I would be meeting students via Zoom. That's a huge part of my business now. And it's really allowed me to broaden it to other states. Like I had a couple students from Florida this year, I had a a couple students from Massachusetts this year. And that's been really amazing.

That's awesome. Well, and let me ask you this. If dad's at work and mom's at home, and like, can they all join you from different places on Zoom?

That happens all the time. All the time.

That's amazing. Yeah. I love, I love Zoom.

I kind of do too. I mean, honestly, I feel like this shift has actually overall been a good thing for me and my, my clients who are teenagers. Their fluency with this type of medium is quite high. They've been able to make that pivot so easily. It feels very normal for them. And a lot of what we do, like let's say we're working in Common App, or we're working in Google Docs on an essay, we'll have the screen share up. So I'll be able to see what type of text they're inputting. Or, you know, Google Docs, we've always been able to work together, but sometimes It's nice to just see each other's faces where I'm like, okay, go back to that paragraph. Why don't you do a draft of that sentence? Okay. Here's my thought or suggestion. Let's try it again. It— the, this kind of format is really so good for those types of meetings.

It sounds perfect. It sounds like it's working so well. So tell everyone all the services that you offer.

So, um, okay, I'll start with like for like a 9th or 10th grader or even 11th grader. I usually do an initial consultation, so that's usually about an hour to an hour and a half. So I have families bring in, um, report cards or like an unofficial transcript. So end-of-year report cards, unofficial transcripts, whatever works. I just want to see courses and grades. So that's the first thing we look at. Then any test data like PSAT, or if a child does have an SAT or ACT, they'll bring that in. Then usually an informal list of activities. It doesn't have to be a fancy resume, just like, here's what I like to do when I'm not sitting in a classroom. And then I have parents do a pretty extensive parent questionnaire ahead of time, and then usually I most times end up having a conversation with a parent ahead of time, usually on the phone. Phone. So we all kind of know what the goals are. If there's anything I need to know about the child in particular, I really like to get that information first from the parent. Then during the meeting, we just kind of work through those 3 areas: setting goals, creating the to-do list, talking about next steps. So we'll really talk about course selection. So if it's a 9th grader, we're talking about 10th, 11th, 11th and 12th. If it's an 11th grader, then we're just going to say like, what are you taking right now? And like, what have we chosen for next year? Because really that piece of it, the transcript, the courses that have been chosen, that's really in many ways the most important part of the entire college application, way more important than the tests. But then we'll talk about tests too. Like I said earlier, I try to create just kind of like a schedule or a plan if we're going to do some test prep Where would we fit that in, in the context of your other academic commitments and extracurricular commitments? Then we'll talk about extracurriculars, you know, where we might want to add a little bit more, where it's appropriate to subtract a little bit more, whatever works. And then I like to talk about summer plans, like what are your summers going to look like, you know? Is there something that you'd really love to do? I love encouraging kids to create something of their own. So like last year, I had two girls do their own mini summer camp in their backyard for neighborhood kids.

Love that.

It was awesome. And they did like an Instagram page for it, documented the whole thing. I thought it was great. So like kind of fun activities like that. It doesn't have to be like, let me apply for this highly selective internship, right? Just meet you where you are. And what is fun and meaningful for you. So, and then we talk kind of very loosely about schools. So some students have a list of schools, will come to, you know, to the meeting with a list of schools. Some kids have absolutely no idea. And again, depending on the age of the student, we'll put together a school list where families could either start doing some online research Another benefit of COVID has been schools really have much more detailed and robust online tours, information sessions, etc. So I really encourage families to take advantage of those. And then now schools are starting to do more on-campus visits just to kind of— I, I like to call it gathering information. Let's gather information, see what you like and don't like, and then we'll build the school list from there. And then we'll do a little bit of discussion about the financial piece. I personally don't do the FAFSA. I have two people who that is their specialty. They are, you know, kind of financial planners who specialize in FAFSA completion, financial aid appeal letters, etc. So I generally refer that business out. But I'm still— I still kind of coordinate with them. So we have a diversity of choices in terms of what the college costs might look like for families. So that's like the main service. That's the first service is that consultation. And then for, you know, if I've started working with a student early on as a freshman or sophomore, we'll usually do maybe another check-in, maybe 6 months later. Just to kind of check in, see how things are going. But where the real work starts is right at the end of junior year. And then that's when I'll start working with my juniors actually doing the work of the college application. So I really do every single piece of it, everything, every single part of Common Application. If a school's not using Common Application, that's really the minority of schools, but if a school is not using Common Application, then we will also do that school-specific application. Um, so every piece of writing associated with it, from the kind of resume activity section to the main essay, and then any other additional essays. So some schools have their own school-specific supplemental essays, for example, like, you know, why do you want to go to Michigan, a question like that. So we'll also work on those essays as well. So I help them, um, uh, decide which teachers to ask as recommenders, help them send the recommendation requests, coordinate with the guidance counselor, and if a school uses Naviance, like the Williamsville Schools use Naviance, or not all of them but many of them do, then we would link Naviance and Common App, do kind of all that back-end sort of like logistical work as well. So yeah, really all components of Common App, and then actually help them submit the application submissions as well, like actually hit submit. And then a lot of what I'm doing right now with my current seniors are meetings where we've seen what schools they've gotten into. And we're almost kind of doing like pro and con charts. We're looking at, say, maybe 4 or 5 schools, you know, what's the cost, campus life, academics, what did you think about on your visit or campus tour, whatever. And then and helping them kind of come to the decision about which school to put the deposit down on.

That's a lot of services.

So I will say this, sometimes I do have students come to me and they've already done a college essay, say like in their AP language course. I always encourage them to bring whatever pieces of writing they have, and some of them will love those essays. If so, we'll use it. Some of them don't, they're like, I just had to do this for an assignment, I'm not married to this. So then sometimes we'll take chunks of that essay and develop it a little bit more. I go through a brainstorm process, like we do some writing exercises and activities beforehand, just to kind of try to pull out what might be the best essay topic. So a lot of the work that I do is really spent in that writing process. So again, as a, a former English teacher and a writer, this writing piece to me is really important, and I think some people who are also kind of in this space don't do that same intensive writing-focused work that I like to do with my students.

So I mean, I absolutely love what you're doing, and I think it is so needed. So, so needed. I'm so happy you're doing this. I'm so happy we're putting this out there into the world for people to come and find you. So tell everybody where to go find you.

So my website is just stressfreeadmissions.com, um, and I have a contact form so you can fill out your information. My number is also on there. So you can call or text. And that's probably the easiest way to get in touch with me. I'm definitely scheduling appointments, you know, right now for my juniors and sophomores. So yeah, just head to stressfreeadmissions.com.

Well, I can't thank you enough for your time. This is such valuable information.

Oh, thank you, Rebecca. It's so great to be able to share this. I Amazing to be able to talk with you, and I'm so glad that I got the opportunity to, to share.

Thank you so much. This is Rebecca Green reminding everyone to spend every day laughing, learning, and loving. Thank you for tuning in to the Whiny Palooza podcast. If you like what you heard, please be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. While you are there, leave a review. I love to hear your feedback. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time.

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