Episode 166 Giving Children Resilience

22 Jul 2022 · 33 min
32:55

In this episode of the Whiny Palooza podcast, host Rebecca Greene, a licensed clinical social worker and mother of three, interviews Dr. Robin Hanley Defoe, a resiliency researcher, educator, and author of Calm Within the Storm: A Pathway to Everyday Resiliency. The conversation begins with Dr. Defoe’s personal back‑story—a tumultuous adolescence marked by school dropout, mental‑health crises, addiction, and a life‑changing accident at age 16—that sparked her curiosity about why some people bounce back while others stay stuck. She describes resilience as the set of traits, behaviors, and mind‑sets that enable people to recover from hardship and keep moving forward. The bulk of the interview offers concrete, parent‑focused strategies: (1) consistently tell children they can “do hard things” and nurture stick‑to‑it‑ness; (2) normalize all emotions and avoid labeling feelings as good or bad; (3) create psychological safety by avoiding perfectionism, allowing children to pursue activities that match their interests, and exposing them to varied experiences without over‑committing; (4) model resilience by verbalizing problem‑solving processes instead of silently fixing things; (5) adopt daily coping habits such as a purposeful morning routine and gentle self‑compassion in the evening; (6) differentiate between support (listening, advising, intervening) and rescue, using a three‑question check‑in with teens. Dr. Defoe also shares the most impactful advice she’s received—knowing one’s worth and recognizing life’s seasonal nature. The episode concludes with a brief promotion of her book and where listeners can find her resources online.

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