Episode 218: BOSS MOVES Three Ways to Harmonize Marriage and Being a Leader with Maxine Johnson
In this episode of the Whiny Palooza Podcast, host Rebecca Greene introduces guest Maxine Johnson, a certified life coach, author, and CEO of Wife Boss Academy. Maxine shares her personal journey as a wife, mother of five, and longtime HR leader, highlighting the challenges women in leadership face, including higher divorce rates for women CEOs. Drawing on research and her own experiences, she presents four practical "boss moves" for women to harmonize marriage and leadership: (1) Listen with intent – practice empathetic listening to understand rather than react; (2) Be vulnerable – share feelings and needs openly to foster deeper connection; (3) Show appreciation – regularly acknowledge and thank partners and family members; and (4) Have fun – prioritize joy and playfulness in the relationship. Maxine backs each move with anecdotes, such as a sink‑repair conflict and a late‑night call from her son, and ties them to leadership principles she uses at work. The episode concludes with a call to action, inviting listeners to book a free coaching call via meetwithmaxine.com and follow her on social media.
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No need to whine, it's Whiny Palooza! Have some wine and join us on the Whiny Palooza Podcast with Rebecca Green.
Welcome to the Whiny Palooza Podcast. I'm your host, Rebecca Green. I'm a wife, mother of 3, and licensed clinical social worker. I also have 3 fur babies at home too. My passion has always been to help children and their families. I always dreamed of being a wife and a mother. Parents are always learning through their struggles, failures, and successes and joys. I am no stranger to this wild ride of parenting, and I know behind every great parent lies a team of supportive friends and family. I want to be part of your support system. I want you to know that you are not alone. We are in this parenting world together. Join me every week for insightful discussions with experts on parenting and marriage, as well as other parents who have found the secret to successes in parenthood. You'll learn tips and tricks to make life with your family better than ever. I hope you will follow along with me while we dive into what it takes to achieve a happy family.
Hello everyone, this is Rebecca Green for the first Winey Palooza Parenting and Marriage Summit, and we are moving on to our fabulous our fourth presenter, Maxine. Um, okay, Maxine, let me do your title: Harmonize Marriage and Being a Female Leader. We have Maxine Johnson with us, and she is an author, co-author, certified life coach, and a transformation specialist for women who are ready to take their lives to the next level. She is the CEO and founder of Wife Boss Academy, where she helps women who are in a position of power obtain clarity, confidence, and influence in both areas. She is passionate about encouraging and inspiring women to be their best selves. She has shared her message to thousands of women worldwide and has enlightened women, helping them realize that they can achieve anything. Maxine loves to share her personal life experiences in the form of heartwarming stories. Maxine has over 19 years experience as a human resource professional and 12 years of faith-based service. She is the author of a life-changing guide titled Helping a Sister. Maxine, I am so happy to have you here, and I'm so excited to hear all about your amazing topic.
Thank you so much, Rebecca, and thank you, Seth, and everyone that's attending this summit. I am super excited to be here. And what I wanted to share with you all is boss moves. We're going to talk about boss moves, and we're going to utilize the chat quite a bit. So I know you all have been very interactive, and so I'm going to try my best to keep up with what I see, but I want you to just engage in the chat. But boss moves, what are we talking about? I want to provide you with 3 ways to harmonize marriage and being a female leader. 3 ways of harmonizing being married and a female leader. So here's a question. I read this somewhere and it said, what are— there are so— what are some reasons why women who are in a position of power, their chances of divorce increases? Why do you think that is? Please put it in the chat. Why do you think that is? Men don't like— yes, Tina. Independence. Yes. Husband insecure, emasculated. Yes. Inferiority. Bruised egos. Bang, bang, bang. Here it comes. Power comes with more responsibility. Habits. Yes. Lack of balance at home. That's good. No respect. You are on it. Absolutely. Men like to be the breadwinner. Lack of control. Absolutely. Values. Equality. That can be— let me see. Oh, poor self-esteem. Yes, that could be it. Yes. Intimidation. You are on it. Men may not see us that way. Lack of support from every— everything a woman has done. Absolutely. Avoiding conflict. Different way— way they're raised. That could be it. Absolutely. Exhausted, disengaged. Absolutely great. Affecting relationships all the way around. Being the odd couple. Absolutely. You are so on point. You are so on point because many women— my thought is many women may be feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, challenged, angry. There's a lot of conflict that could be going on. Um, balancing it all is challenging. So even if we talk about the word balance, I like to change that word to harmonize— harmonizing. Because balance, really, if you think about a balance beam, meaning that everything has to be equal, is that really truly Achievable. When we think about carrying so many different things, think about harmonizing opposed to balance. I am not opposed to saying balance, but what I found is that harmonizing is a better way of using it. Why do I say that? Because there are some things that we have to put in the forefront and some things are in the back. If I can make it really simple, If we look at a band, if we think about a choir, if we think about our favorite singing group or band, everyone doesn't always sing the lead. There's always someone taking the forefront at some given time. All parts are important, but at certain things, something will stand in front of it all. So here's— let me just tell you a little bit about my story. Let me— and this is where the thing is about the story. So I, as you know, and I thank Rebecca for reading my bio, I'm a wife, I'm a mother. My husband and I have 5 children. They are all adults and 2 grandchildren. I am also an author, co-author. I'm a pastor. I'm an HR leader, been in HR over 20 years. I'm a— I have leadership positions in a couple of community organizations. And I say all that to say is that I wear a lot of leadership hats, a lot of leadership hats. And what I was finding was, as I'm going out making decisions for organizations, making decisions around budgets, having all the weight put on me, making decisions and life-changing decisions for organizations, when I came home, I did the exact same thing. I was making the decisions. My husband was taking too long. If he asks, Maxine, we need our sink fixed, when are you going to get the sink fixed? He is going to take time. He's taking too long. So let me tell you a real life story. He took too long to get the sink fixed. I let 1 week go by, then it was 7 days, then it was 10 days, then it was 15 days. So I called somebody, hey, can you come over and take a look at my sink? My husband comes home. Who is this man under the sink? Hey, listen, I asked you to fix the sink and you didn't call anybody, so I did it. Yes, Sarah, I took charge. But what was happening was this was causing so many, uh, so much conflict. This was causing a lot of arguments. This was causing some discontent between my husband and I. And mind you, at the time when we were married, we were a blended family, so there was a lot friction happening, going on, even with my children. Because with our children, I was— no, you need to do this, you need to do that, you're going to football practice, you're coming home. It was— I had to get things done, but it was causing a lot of conflict. And I said to myself, this doesn't feel right. I didn't want to live in a house that's not a home. I wanted to live in a place that had harmony. I wanted to live in a place that was peaceful. How do I do that? I just didn't know. Of course, being a pastor, of course I prayed, I meditated. What, what is it that I'm missing? I can't change him, but I have the ability to change myself. I have the ability to act and react. I can do that. I have power over that. But how do I do this? So my turning point was this. My youngest son was in his second year in college, and he called me probably around 2 AM in the morning. And I'm sure, moms, you could imagine to get a phone call in the middle of the night is jarring. It's jarring. So I get up and I say to my son, yes, what's wrong? He says nothing. He said, mom, me and my girlfriend broke up. Oh my goodness. I was livid. I was mad. I was outright mad. And I said, don't you ever call me in the middle of the night. And I'm going in, and I'm fussing at him. And I know some of my colleagues on this panelist, probably I need to take some of those hints that they shared earlier. But I was livid. I did all but cuss him out. All but cuss him out. All but. But this is what my son said that changed me forever. He said to me, Mom, if I was one of— if someone in your church, if I was someone on your team at work, you would take my call. And when I tell you that that stuck me hard, that was a punch in the gut. I said, you know what, to myself, He was absolutely right. And so we did talk from about 2-something to almost 3 o'clock because his heart was broken. And what do we do in leadership when we know that we have people on our team, when we know that they are in need of something? We do take time out for them, don't we not? What's interesting is I read this article a couple of years ago, the BBC— in the BBC. It was entitled, Why Promoted People, Women, Are More Likely to Divorce. And what they said is promotion to a top job in politics increases the divorce rate of women, but not for men. Isn't that something? And it says women who become CEOs divorce faster than men who become CEOs. And this was written by Johanna Rickney. She also goes on to say in this paper is that heterosexual men and women working for private companies with 100 employees or more found that married women were twice as likely to be divorced 3 years after their promotion to a CEO level compared to their male counterparts. Now, what they did was utilize 3 decades' worth of records. And I said to myself, I did not want to be in that number. I did not want to be in a percentile because you see, you see everyone, this is my second and my last marriage. I'm not doing this again. But I wanted to work daggone hard to get it right. And so when we understand that, what can I do differently? What I learned from my son, what I learned from others is is that I had— it made me think about what did I do as a leader in the faith-based world? What did I do as an HR leader? What were some of the skills that I've utilized that I was able— that I'm able to engage them, my team, the congregation, that I'm not doing at home? So what I did, I thought about it, was it is a lot to juggle, and it did seem overwhelming. And I know that there is a way. That we can harmonize all of this. If I just think about how do I do it in the organization? Because they seem engaged. They come and talk to me. They have the same— I have confidence in that. I have clarity in that. I have influence in that. But could I do that at home? So with the goal of being a better mom, a better wife, and a better leader. So what did I do? Well, for me, trying to juggle it all, I was scrambling. So what I did, I got someone to help me. I got a mentor and a coach. But what we did, we really honed in on what my leadership skills was. So here's the first thing. Here's the first boss move. And this is not rocket science. It's— it isn't. It's just something that I want us to just awaken that something that's already in us. The first thing is, is that we must listen with intent. Empathetic listening is very important. Empathetic listening is very important. We have to understand their needs, understand what they want. I want to listen to understand, not listen to react. Sometimes we— when we have a conversation, the first thing I do, especially with my husband— can I tell you the truth? If he's saying something, I'm already answering it. I already got the answer because he's doing— he's taking too long, because he's not meeting me where I want him to go, because I always had to be right. But when I realized not being right— am I like that in the organization? Am I like that in the church? Am I like that in the community? I didn't have to be right. So why is it that I'm trying to be right and not listen to my spouse? It caused more conflict. So I needed to change that. So just like I have an empathetic ear I also wanted to have that with my spouse and my children. I do it at work. Why is it that we give so much to other people and we neglect the ones that we love? Why was it that I was able to listen to what my staff had, my team had to say? Why was it that I had to listen to? Because I wanted to. We all had, we had goals. We had the same thing. And so when I think about with my husband, when I think about with my children, what is the end result we're looking for? So I'm listening with intent. The second thing is, is that I learned is being vulnerable is powerful. Being vulnerable is powerful. How do I know this? Well, the thing is, is that when I'm at work, or I'm serving, or whatever I'm doing in the leadership capacity, capacity, it was easy for me to say, I don't know. It was easy for me to share certain things. Because what I found is that when you are vulnerable, you're sharing your story. When you are doing that, it allows people to open up a little bit more. It also— when you're being vulnerable, we've all been there when you had to sit in the chair and your boss had to tell you and give you some constructive feedback. And you take the constructive feedback, and then you go on and share why this is this and that is that. And also, we have to think about being just emotional. Sometimes we could be emotionally wounded. Where we might not want to be vulnerable, but yet and still we are vulnerable even outside of the home, but not in the home. So when I say being vulnerable is powerful is sharing our feelings, our needs, and also hearing their feelings and their needs. Of course, it may not be what we want to hear, but if we know the truth, As they say in the good book, the truth will set you free. So being vulnerable is very powerful. The other thing is, is that you want to show appreciation. Of course, being an HR leader for many, many years, one of the biggest things that we do in most organizations is that we look at employee engagement. We look at like, how do we keep you engaged? How do we show appreciation at home? If I'm doing something for my husband or he's doing something for me, it goes back to when we were in kindergarten. Thank you. Yes, please. I appreciate that. Ask questions. Ask questions. There's influence that you can have by showing appreciation. I'm sorry, I just saw that in the chat and it just said that my children send me love notes. Oh, I love that. I love that. Because you know what? Even though my children are adults, they send love through the text messages. If it's a heart emoji or whatever it is, but showing appreciation for our spouse, showing appreciation for our children. How do you show appreciation for your spouse, for your partner? Back to basics. Indeed, Ruth. Here's one, fourth one. I'm gonna give you a bonus, really simple. Have fun. Have fun. We come home from a hard day's work and everything is a— have fun. Because I'm here to tell you, my husband and I are empty nesters, and when the children are gone, all we have is each other. Yeah, the kids could keep coming back, they do. But really, when you have 20-something-year-olds and in their early 30s, they come back when they want some grown-up advice. But when we have fun together— and one thing that I've learned in a pandemic is that we had to have fun. We laughed about what was funny. We act so silly. I mean, we were— we really, truly, truly act like we were 14-year-olds all over again. That's the other thing I didn't tell you. My husband and I went to high school together. Isn't that amazing? And how we just came back. So what I wanted to share with you is that there are some really simplistic boss moves that you can make to harmonize being a leader as well as being a wife or a spouse. Listen with intent. Being vulnerable is powerful. Show appreciation. And lastly, the bonus is to have fun. Why is this so important? Well, it's so important because I want women, I want men, I want families to be successful. I want families to be successful. I want relationships to be successful, and even being successful in your career. The one important thing is when I show appreciation to my spouse and what he does, and he supports me, there is support on both sides, and I make sure that I have time for him. So the results that happens to this is that, yes, we have a successful marriage. Does he get on my nerves sometimes? Yes, he does. And I know I get on his too. But when we look at the Boss Move and we see that what we can do to shift things and change things and to see women having great relationships with their spouse and partner, harmonizing their career— wouldn't it be great? Wouldn't it be great? Just one little tip if you took with you today, what would it be? One thing that you know you can change today, what will it be? Will it be to listen more intently to your spouse or partner? Will it be, let's just simply have fun? Will it be, I couldn't be a little bit more vulnerable? Or will it be showing appreciation? Think about it. Before I go, I do want to thank everyone for the opportunity for me to come and share with all of you. And many of you might be thinking, you know what, Maxine, this is really good. I wanna learn more. I wanna talk about more. Well, if you do, I would love to speak to you. Let's book a call. It's absolutely free. No pressure. It's free. A free call to talk about how we can, how the, how on doing this and how you do it. Go to Maxine Book. I'm sorry, what? Meet with Maxine. When you have some websites, meetwithmaxine.com. Meetwithmaxine.com and book a call so we can talk about it today. meetwithmaxine.com and book your call today. I have some slots open today and tomorrow specifically for everyone that has joined this summit. And if you cannot get in a slot today or tomorrow, um, you can all follow me on Instagram at maxineljohnson.com Or you can email me at info@maxineljohnson.com.
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