Episode 222: Ella Turns 14

No need to whine, it's Whiny Palooza! Have some wine and join us on the Whiny Palooza Podcast with Rebecca Green.

Welcome to the Whiny Palooza Podcast. I'm your host, Rebecca Green. I'm a wife, mother of 3, and licensed clinical social worker. I also have 3 fur babies at home too. My passion has always been to help children and their families. I always dreamed of being a wife and a mother. Parents are always learning through their struggles, failures, and successes and joys. I am no stranger to this wild ride of parenting, and I know behind every great parent lies a team of supportive friends and family. I want to be part of your support system. I want you to know that you are not alone. We are in this parenting world together. Join me every week for insightful discussions with experts on parenting and marriage, as well as other parents who have found the secret to successes in parenthood. You'll learn tips and tricks to make life with your family better than ever. I hope you will follow along with me while we dive into what it takes to achieve a happy family.

Hello everyone, this is Rebecca Green for the Whiny Palooza podcast, and this is very exciting for me because my daughter Ella Green is here with us today. Ella, thank you so much for giving me your time today. I appreciate you doing this.

Of course, it's my pleasure.

Well, you are a sweetheart. Ella is— this is going to be aired on Ella's 14th birthday. I cannot believe that my sweetheart is turning 14. So this is going to be on your birthday, so happy birthday, honey.

Thank you.

When we are done with this, we need to book your birthday party because I, I cannot believe how soon it is approaching, and we have to get everybody invited and get the show on the road. So that's next after this. Okay, so I couldn't have a Friday podcast on March 3rd go by without talking to my birthday girl. So I'm going to ask you a bunch of questions, and hopefully I will cover important topics, and you can always tell me if I don't cover something. Okay, so let's start with, um, what— how was your day and what happened that was good today?

So As far as today goes, it was a pretty good day. I'm happy that my sister has been feeling better because she's been dehydrated, and I got to go to lunch with my mom's best friend who I call Aunt Liz, and it was really fun to see her again, and we made a new inside joke. Um, so yeah, my day was pretty good.

Was it a good day? Are you enjoying your week off?

Definitely, definitely needed this week off.

I know, it's like a reset, right?

Yep. Especially since I have no days off in March.

You work so hard.

Thank you.

You work so hard, and I appreciate how hard you work. Ella gets amazing grades and does lots of extracurricular activities that we will talk about. So, um, if you could live anywhere, where would you want to live?

New York City.

Do you want to tell everyone why?

Um, well, it's always been a big dream of mine to be on Broadway, and to just be near that much theater would be like a dream come true to me. And I also love the hustle and bustle of it all, and I just love all the experiences that New York City would give me, and just the amount of people there and the atmosphere I think really align with who I am as a person.

Oh wow, that was a good answer.

Thank you.

So, so you want to be on Broadway one day, that's your dream.

Yeah.

So tell everyone how you're kind of living out that dream right now. What are you doing today to help you reach that goal?

Well, I am very involved in musical theater opportunities. I do an after-school program where I'm Amanda in Matilda. And at school I play Mabel Washington in Fame, so always getting more musical theater training.

Well, I love that and I'm very excited for the school musical. Ella got— Ella auditioned and got a really good role in the school musical and I cannot wait to see it. So exciting stuff. And your sister's in it, so this will be the first musical that you're both in.

I know, it'll be so fun.

It's gonna be so much fun. Um, is that what you're most excited about right now?

It's kind of hard to say what I'm most excited about right now, but I am really excited to see what my birthday is like, and yes, I am very excited to perform with my sister.

Are you excited to turn 14?

Yes, I am.

What is exciting about that?

I don't know, it's just getting another year older. I guess that's all I can say. I mean, I'm going to start high school at 14.

I know, that's what I thought you were going to say that you were excited about. Ella is so— it's so funny, my friends text me like they're nervous for their kids to start high school next year, and it's so funny, Ella, I don't feel nerves, I just feel excitement for you. I don't know how you feel, but I am so excited for you.

I am too. I think I'm a little bit nervousided just because it's a bigger school to get around and there's more people, but I think overall it'll be a positive change. I get to take more classes I'm interested, and who knows, my new best friend might be in high school.

Well, and I loved high school so much, so I think that's why I'm excited for you. I think it's a lot better than middle school.

Oh, sure.

And there's so many extracurricular activities to join, and you're already talking about like, like 2 of them at least that you want to join.

Right. Right.

I think you're gonna love it. So you're, so you're, so you're nervous about getting around and—

Yeah, and all the people that are gonna be there. But I think it'll be okay.

I think you're gonna learn how to get around really quickly.

Yeah, I don't think it'll be that big of an issue past the first maybe 2 weeks.

I, I would agree with that. I think I learned the school after 1 or 2 times walking around.

Yeah.

So if I can do it, you can do it. Right?

Yep.

What does your perfect day look like?

Am I allowed to say I have no clue?

Yeah, you don't know.

So many things that would make such a good day that I don't even—

what is there one thing? Is there one thing that you like to do in your days?

Um, well, I like to go to rehearsal. I like rehearsing for things. Um, you know, I like a lot of chill-out time. I like being with my family.

It's really nice when your kid joins something and they're sad if they don't have it that day. Like, I picked Ella up on a Thursday recently and she was like, oh, I don't have drama class. That made me so happy. Like, you want your kid to want to go to something, right? Yes. Okay, um, so you've got the week of break this week. Is there anything that you want to do this week before the week is over?

I think I'm pretty satisfied with how break has gone. Um, I mean, we're gonna go roller skating tomorrow, which is really fun. I mean, I'd love to maybe get my birthday party booked. Maybe invite a friend over depending on how tomorrow goes.

Um, what was I going to say about this week? We have to get you new sneakers. Don't let me forget. Don't let me forget. Max needs a haircut. Ella needs new sneakers.

Hey, I would also like a haircut as well. Oh boy.

Okay.

Um, one of my earplugs fell out.

What would you do if you were president?

If I was president? Yeah.

You can say you don't know.

I haven't really thought about that.

Okay, well, if you think of something, let us know.

I will.

I'll let you know. You could be the first shoish.

Go ahead. I would make a make all the Jewish holidays federal holidays so that Jewish people get off for their holidays.

Oh my God, wouldn't that be nice? I know, I would like that, but I think a lot of religions would like that.

Yeah, right, not just give it to everybody, but definitely the major ones.

If we give it to every religion, we have a day off.

We have so many days.

I wonder how many days off that would equal to.

And I would also like to change the school the school system a bit. I don't really have like a concrete plan for that, but I would change the school system a little bit.

You want to tell them more about that?

I would probably make the days shorter. I think I would make it more personalized so that you're learning things that you're actually going to use in real life. And I'd also, um, I think that's about it.

What would you say your favorite subject is right now?

Probably social studies, but I also really like what we're studying in ELA.

What are you doing in ELA right now?

Romeo and Juliet. Oh, you know what, I wanted to read Shakespeare stuff.

Are you reading Romeo and Juliet?

Yeah, we read the prologue. We have to actually get into it when we get back from break though.

Do you have the book?

Yes, I do.

Because I read that book.

Everybody does in English 9. At least where we live.

Yeah, you're reading all the same books that I probably read.

Probably.

What makes you feel cared for?

Probably verbally expressing that you care about me. Listening. I also really do like acts of service. That definitely is one of my love languages.

I love that you've learned that.

Yeah, and I also like spending time with people and knowing that they're enjoying the time they're spending with me. That makes me feel really cared about as well.

Aww, so you like quality time?

Yes, I do like quality time as well.

I know you mentioned boba tea. Maybe we could get boba tea before school starts.

Yes, please.

You like your boba tea?

I do. One time I actually Witsmailed my mom from school asking for boba tea.

And, and did your mom bring it to you?

Yes, you did, because you're amazing.

I have to remember to check my email.

Oh, it's gonna be so much worse when I can text you next year.

When you could text me next year, it's gonna be like, hey mom, do you have time to bring me some Starbucks to school? Do you know that parents drop off stuff to high school for their kids?

Yep, I knew that.

Um, what would you do if you could do anything you wanted?

If I could do anything I wanted, I'd probably perform in a Broadway show. Oh!

Interesting. What Broadway show do you want to be in?

Oh God, there are so many.

Is there a— there— is there one or two top?

The biggest one is probably Les Mis. Oh my goodness.

Okay, what else?

Um, I'd also really love to do Wicked, Legally Blonde.

Nice.

Those are the three biggest.

What would you say you're afraid of?

I'm afraid of being forgotten eventually, and I'm also just afraid that the people that I think care about me actually don't. I guess those are my two biggest fears.

You're afraid of being forgotten by whom?

Just by the general population when I'm eventually gone. I don't want to be forgotten.

Oh my goodness, how could anyone forget you? I think you're going to leave a lasting impact.

That's the goal.

And you're afraid of people who you think care about you don't care about you? You're not talking about family?

No, I know you guys care about me. I think more about like the friend world of things.

I think there's a lot more friends that care about you than you think.

Hopefully you're right and I'm wrong.

And I also think that when you go into high school, um, you're going to be even happier in the friend department. Yeah, yeah. I think drama club is a good way for you to be around your people.

Yep, I think so too, right?

I would agree. Um, what do you need from me?

Just endless love and support.

Oh, I can do that.

That's it.

That's— that sounds pretty easy.

I just want love and support. That's all I need from you.

What, what makes you smile? What makes you happy?

My family, getting to do things with my friends, theater, and watching the people I love succeed. That's some of the stuff that makes me smile.

Good stuff, good stuff. What have you been thinking about lately?

Lately I've been thinking a lot about school. I'm thinking a lot about school. A lot about, and a lot about theater. And also my birthday plans. I know. I need to decide on something.

I feel so bad. It's, I don't know why your birthday creeps up. I need to start planning your birthday. Like early February, we need to start planning your birthday.

Yeah.

Right? Next year we'll do better.

Alright, write it down. I will.

Maybe I need an alert on my phone on February 1st next year. Plan Ella's birthday.

I know.

We've, we've been talking about it. We just need to book something.

Right. We've been, we've tossed a couple of things up in the air. We definitely need to book something though.

Okay. What else do I got? How would you describe me?

How would I describe you?

Yeah.

Um, Loving, supportive. I would say you're pretty passionate. Um, expressive, bubbly, and warm.

Really good, really good reframes. Good reframes. Passionate in a lot of good ways.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. Expressive in a lot of passionate about like psychology and stuff.

I'm— yeah, yes, I think that yes.

Um, sometimes everything I was saying was in a good way.

I know I'm teasing you that, okay, expressive, expressive is not always a great thing, but most of the time it's a great thing.

Yes, most of the time it's awesome. Yes.

Uh, what makes you angry?

That's really hard to answer because there's I don't really get angry. I get sad. Oh baby, I get sad.

Oh honey, I know, I know. Well, anger is really a just a cover-up for sadness. So you go— so like if I'm angry, then I'm covering up my sadness, right?

And you know, I guess Go ahead. Sometimes my sister is one of the biggest things that makes me angry.

I knew you were gonna say that.

Also just some of the stuff I see on social media.

Yeah, yeah, there's stuff on social media that makes you angry. Yeah, like injustice type stuff or people not being nice.

Both. Yeah.

Yeah, people need to be nice on social media. You're living in a world of social media, and I think you have realized that I didn't have any at your age. Do you know that?

Yes, I do know that.

In fact, I don't think I had any social media until Max was like 1 years old.

Wow.

I know. Where do you want to travel?

There's so many places. Um, well, I'd love to see somewhere in the Caribbean. I'd love to see an island. I'd also really like to see what Japan is like. Hang on, I'm thinking. I'd like to go to the Galápagos just to see the penguins.

You love penguins!

I do, it's literally my phone case. Um, trying to think of— the Maldives, uh, and that's about it that I can think of right now that isn't— yeah.

Well, maybe we should be going to an island instead of Florida.

Hey, Florida is awesome. I do want to— oh, I forgot one. Super Nintendo World when it opens in Orlando.

I wish it was opened for you for spring break.

I know it's open in California though.

Well, maybe we're gonna have to get you to California.

No rush.

What is your fondest memory?

That's really hard.

You got it. It doesn't have to be your fondest memory. What is a fond memory? Something you remember.

Um, probably memories from theater camp. That one day that we went to the, um, Chez 710 Theater, the junior theater festival, um, performing specifically SpongeBob.

Oh, you liked that?

Yes.

Awesome. I loved when you were Chip.

I know, I was being Chip too.

And you were a good Pinocchio.

Thank you.

Oh my God, and a good Wicked Witch. You've been some Some of my fondest memories are of watching you on the stage.

Oh, awesome!

And I think that you come alive on stage. What do you think?

I agree.

What is super important to you?

Family is really important to me. Kindness is really important to me. Um, fairness. Is important to me. Mm-hmm. Those are just some values.

What makes you feel better when you're feeling down?

When I'm feeling down?

Yeah, what makes you feel better?

Usually, usually just going up to my room and just letting all my emotions out and crying really makes me feel better. Um, sometimes watching things makes me feel better. What it is depends.

What have you been watching lately?

Well, right now I'm on hiatus for my favorite show, so nothing much lately.

What's your favorite show?

The Owl House. We're waiting for the last episode.

Hmm. I'm trying to think what else you've been watching that's been good. Did you watch Wednesday with me?

Yes, I did. I did love Wednesday, and I believe it's confirmed that it's getting a second season.

Well, I wonder if we can find another show together because I liked watching that with you.

All right, I love that.

If you have Netflix, the series Wednesday was really good, right?

Most people have watched it already.

I'm sure most people have Netflix and have watched it. I agree. I'm just mentioning it because I liked watching it with you. I like when we have a show.

Yeah, I—

you don't really like to watch movies. You seem to like shows better.

Yeah, I'm not a huge movie girl.

Is it just because they're shorter?

Yeah, they're easier to focus.

For the record, she sat in like a 3-hour, uh, performance to see Into the Woods, but she doesn't like movies. But you could sit there for 3 hours for Into the Woods.

Yep.

That was impressive.

It was actually 2 and a half hours. She's just counting intermission and getting out of the theater.

Right, but, but I'm saying that you can sit for a long time when you want to.

I can.

When you're into, when you're into something. And I bet you, you sit still for social studies because you really like that class.

I sit still for most classes.

I bet.

I know, most of the time my legs are swinging, but I'm paying attention.

You like to, you like to be moved, in movement. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you think I like most about you?

My heart, how kind I am.

Hmm, that was good. I like so many, I like so many things about you. Do you know that? Thank you, yes. I hope, I hope that you like feel loved on a daily basis.

I do.

You do? Well, we did this, we did this when you were 13. Do you remember?

What?

You remember me interviewing you?

Yes, I do. Okay. And I remember you mentioning that my bat mitzvah was in 2 days and I was freaking—

Oh my God, yes, good memory.

The 1-year anniversary of my bat mitzvah is coming up.

And you did such a good job. Are you proud of yourself?

Yes.

Ella did such a good job at her bat mitzvah. It was a wonderful day. That was— see, that was one of our most fond memories.

This memory, it was just escaped my brain.

Well, yeah, that was a really great memory.

That's definitely my fondest memory is my bat mitzvah.

So, so we talked to you, we inter— I interviewed you when you were 13. Now I'm interviewing you and you're about to turn 14. How do you think that you have changed in this last year?

Oh, in a ton of ways. Oh, I'm more mature both mentally and physically. I think I understand a lot of things better and I'm more open about what I'm interested in.

Interesting.

And I also have more fun.

You're— and you're— yeah, yeah, I think you've changed a lot for sure. And I think you're learning more about yourself and what makes you tick and what makes you happy. And hopefully, my hope is that each year you, um, get more comfortable in your own skin. Because what I was remembering, because your brother just turned 16, and And I remember being 14, I remember being 16, and I remember not being so comfortable in my own skin. So I'm hoping— I am now, but I'm hoping that you get there quicker than I did.

I'm getting there. I'm not quite there yet, but I'm getting there.

And realize how amazing you are, because I don't think you or your brother or your sister realize how wonderful you are. What do you think?

Yeah, I would agree with you, but thank you.

Well, so how can I help you gain more confidence?

I, I just don't think you can. I just think it's being a teenage girl.

Well, So anything in particular your parents could do for this next year? You said love and support.

Yeah, it's the same thing. Just like be there.

Yeah, just be there. And the last time I interviewed you, you said talk less, listen more. How am I doing with that?

You're doing pretty good. You're getting better.

Okay, so that was really good advice. So, so to the parents listening and to your own mom and your own parents, why don't you give us some more advice to be effective parents for teenagers? Because that was really good advice. Last year she said talk less, listen more. Okay, so how about some more if you have any?

Understand you're not gonna understand. Um, I'm trying to think of more. Know when it's time to like step in and do something and when it's time to just stand back and let your child handle it.

That's good. Well, and there's been times that you have said you're going to make it worse, don't do anything.

Exactly. Exactly.

Oh my goodness. Well, so next year when we do this, you'll be turning 15.

Okay.

So what are you most excited for in this next year?

Uh, starting high school.

And go ahead. Is there more?

What were you saying?

Well, I was going to say you've changed a lot from 13 to 14. You think you're going to change a lot from 14 to 15?

Definitely.

Are you looking forward to more positive changes?

Yes and no. Okay. Because in some ways change is good and change needs to happen and it'll most likely be good change. But part of me, but then another part of me is like, I don't like change.

So you've said that couple times, and you're so interesting, so please don't take my yawning personally. I did not sleep last night.

I know you're just tired.

I'm like so interested in everything you're saying, so I feel bad when I yawn.

Totally okay.

It's 8 o'clock at night and I could like go to sleep right now, so I'm sorry, Ella.

Totally fine.

Um, so okay, so you've said a few times today It's your turn. I made you, um, you've said a few times today that you don't like change. So what don't you like about it?

How uncertain it is.

So, okay, so I totally agree, and I was totally— I mean, I'm probably still like that. I was a lot like that at your age. Every time I started a new school, I did, I did not ever want to start new schools. I didn't want to leave elementary school. I didn't want to leave middle school.

Like, how does someone not want to leave middle school?

Well, I was leaving middle school and we won't get into that. It's a whole story, but I didn't want to leave middle school. I didn't want to leave high school. I didn't like change. So I do understand. I think now I see that change can bring me really good things. So I'm hoping that you're starting to learn that. No, I think I lost your sound. Hello? Okay. All right. I just didn't hear you laughing. That's all. Ella was laughing.

Okay.

And I'm upstairs, so I can hear her laughing downstairs, but I couldn't hear you on the speaker. So what else do you think I should ask you before we wrap up? What did I forget?

Really think you forgot anything?

How do you think, how do you think you're able to get such good grades? Any advice for parents and kids? Because you get some amazing grades.

Well, I have a decent memory with that type of stuff, and I study a lot.

So, so your advice is to study?

Study, do all your homework, write down your homework, um, be in class.

So have good attendance?

Yeah.

Well, Ella has excellent grades, she joins extracurricular activities, She's super responsible. She's so hardworking. She has the kindest heart that I've ever met, and she just oozes goodness. I mean, I, I can't tell you how lucky I feel to be your mom. When they told me that you were a girl, I remember I didn't believe them.

I was destroyed, right?

I, you know, you've heard this story, but it was— you are, you're a dream come true. We dreamed you up. We dreamt you up. Is that how you say it? We dreamt you up?

Yeah, I think it's dreamt.

So your dad and I had a dream and we put it together and it equaled Ella Green.

Thank you.

So, so thank you for being my daughter. Thank you for humoring me and letting me interview you.

Of course.

Is there anything you want to say before I wrap up?

Um, thank you so much, and if any other teenagers are watching, some advice I want to give, give to you is that everything is temporary.

Oh, that's really good advice. Really good advice from the wise Ella Green. Well, thank you, Ella. This was so much fun.

Of course, I had a lot of fun.

I love you so much. I hope you know a little bit how much I love you.

I do, and I love you so much. Best mom ever.

Best, best daughter ever. Shh, don't tell Lily.

I won't.

This is Rebecca Green reminding everyone to spend every day laughing, learning, and loving.

Thank you for tuning in to the Winey Palooza podcast. If you like what you heard, Please be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. While you are there, leave a review. I love to hear your feedback. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time.

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