Episode 228: Key Tips For Mindful Parenting with Kerry Tepedino

This is Rebecca Green for the first Winey Palooza Parenting and Marriage Summit, and I am super excited to introduce our awesome presenter number 5, Carrie Teppadino. And Carrie's going to give us tips for mindful parenting. Let me tell you a little bit about Carrie. She has made her mark as a top leader in the personal development space for women. Carrie came from a hard background of low self-esteem, not believing in herself, being 45 to 50 lbs. heavier than she is today and desperate for change. She came to a defining moment in her life where she got to make a decision to continue being unhappy and burned out or find the freedom that her soul was craving. She has influenced over 150,000 people worldwide in mindset mastery, emotional mastery, loving themselves, and believing that with the proper mentorship, community, and strategies, anything is possible. Thank you so much, Carrie, for being here with us.

Oh my gosh, I am so excited. I love your Community. I love being here engaging with you, Rebecca. You and I have had so much fun in the past. And, and here we are, we get to do it again, which is so cool. And I love that we have so many friends here that are live with us. And one thing that I will say is, you guys, engage with me in the comments. I love having the engagement piece and really like having that back and forth with you guys. So that's super fun. Rebecca, am I just taking the floor? Are you gonna— are you going— are you gonna stay here with me, or is this How do you want to—

So I'm here with you. I turn my camera off so they're focused on you, if you're okay with that, but I'm sitting here taking notes with you. So do you want my camera on?

No, no, it's up to you. I just wasn't sure because I saw your, your tile come up. So that's perfect. I am here.

Okay, take over. I'm here if you need me. I'm watching.

Awesome. And Cindy, thank you for that. I hear Amanda says, Carrie, your background story tells me that this is the exact talk that I needed to hear today. Yeah, cool. Well, so here's one thing that I will say, uh, to everybody here, all of our friends here, is there is no mistake why you're here, right? And so what I say is just always trust the process. Like, you're here for a reason. There was some reason, there was something inside of you on a very soul level that found Rebecca Seth and Winey Palooza. Like, there's something that was inside of you that was made for more, and then that also then led you here to this very conversation today. So the cool thing about this is that we get to really just ground ourselves in this moment right here together. Let's ground ourselves and, and really just, you know, when we take this moment to just ground ourselves and center ourselves, and what gets to happen from this place is that you get to create what I call a defining moment. A defining moment in your life, right? Like what brought you here to this very conversation today is perfect, but what was demanded of you to get to this very moment is not what's going to be demanded of you to get to that next moment of where you want to go with your parenting, because we're talking about 7 Mindful Tips for Mindful Parenting. And so, so everything that brought you here to this very moment is exactly how it needed to be, right? So, if you hear something that is like, oh, like with the mindful tips that we will go over, you hear something like, oh, why didn't I do that with my kids all along? Or why didn't I think about that before? So, what we are going to do right now, you guys, is we are going to just check the blame game at the door. The blame game, the shame game, the guilty game, like all of that has no right to be in this space with us today. It didn't earn its space. It didn't earn the right to be in this space with us today. So whatever you learn today, just know that you're learning it right now because you're now ready for it, right? Like there's something about you that is now ready to take on the information that you get to get from this very, from this very moment, this very training, this conversation. Let's just have a great conversation. And so the other thing that I just want to really center everybody to is when you come into this conversation with me today and each other. You guys are on fire. I'm seeing the chat just like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. So this is so fun. I love this. Way to go, you guys. First of all, Selena, Lena, Tina, Jean. My goodness. Cindy, of course. Ruth, you guys are awesome. Amanda, Adina, Sadia. Awesome. You guys keep going. Keep showing up here. Keep giving yourself keep giving yourself this platform to have a voice and be visible, because the more you're visible, the less you're hiding, the less secrecy that, that you're hiding, and the lies that you're telling yourself about not being a good parent or not being a woman of integrity, of whatever that is, or a gentleman of integrity. So we get to expose all the lies. OK, but I'll get to that in a minute. Let me just make a quick note, because I do think that that's a really important piece. So here's the thing, though, that I wanted to complete this thought. So you get to come to this moment today with an open heart and an open mind. Okay, so when you come into this conversation today with an open heart and an open mind, what gets to happen for you is that you get to hear whatever it is that you were lined up on a soul level, on a divine level you get to actually hear whatever that piece of information, that nugget is that you're ready to hear. And so it might be something that's totally new, and you're like, boom, like, I didn't even think of that before, right? And that might be the piece that you really came to get today, or it could be something that you've heard before, but all of a sudden it's just landing differently, right? Like maybe stronger or deeper. It's just landing differently for you. And so, um, the way that we get to receive that information is when we show up open to it coming, right? So if, if we come in with a closed mind or a closed heart, or if we're, if we're in our old conversations of, oh, nothing's ever going to work for me, or I've tried to be a mindful parent in the past, or I've worked on my relationships in the past and it didn't really work, or it was temporary, or, you know, it might have worked for a little while and I got a quick hit relief, but then, you know, the transformation didn't stick. Then what we get to do is we just get to— we get to, um, see that that was how maybe it showed up for you in the past. But then we get to be the witness of that. We get to say, huh, isn't that interesting that I'm still having these thoughts about myself or this, this conversation? I'm going to mute that person if possible. I'm going to mute Judy really quickly, have a clean recording. So everybody make sure you're muted. Okay. So if, you know, we get to look at whatever that story is that's coming into your present day relationships, maybe your marriage or your dating or with your children, which is what I really wanna focus on with you today. And you get to get curious and interested about that. Hmm, why do I feel like I'm not a good enough parent? Why do I feel like I can never get it right? Why do I feel like, ah, why bother? If I am not going to get it right, why bother at all? Or why come in with a perfectionist mindset that then most likely, and I know this is super hard to hear, you guys, but whatever that story is that we are holding on to for ourselves from our childhood, right? If we are not healing that, then what is happening is we are most likely passing it on. I just know that you guys are not here because you want to pass on and continue a legacy that isn't doesn't serve you and certainly isn't going to serve your kids or your grandkids or your great-grandkids or great-great-grandkids, right? And so I truly believe, I truly believe, you guys, when you come in and you do the personal development work on yourself first and foremost, on yourself, and you get to do it for yourself, right? You get to do it for yourself first and foremost. And your kids, your grandkids, your, uh, you know, the other people in your life, your relationships They win when you choose to do the work on yourself. And doing the work on yourself is your greatest ROI. It's your greatest return on investment, is investing your time and your energy, your resources, resources, and skilling up yourself. Because when you skill up yourself, all the different areas in your life organically get to go to the next level. And that includes, you know, your health, your wealth, love, your parenting, all of that, your mission in the world, your life purpose in the world, all of that naturally gets to go to the next level because you're the common denominator. And so when we come into this conversation together and you commit like crazy, ladies, who's committed? Put it in. Oh my goodness, 22 new messages in the chat. You guys are on fire. Go ahead and post into— post in the chat right now if you are committed to transforming yourself so that then you can transform your relationship with your children and your relationship in all your relationships, right? How you're showing up. Yeah, you guys, good. I love this. That Sanya says yes. Lena, two thumbs up. Ruth, so committed. Adina, committed. Tina, yes, good. Non, Andrea, sorry if I'm not getting your guys' names correctly. Good, you guys. Jen Kinney, I'm committed to being a better person to be a better parent. Great, you great. Carla, yes. OK, you guys, I'm seeing tons. I'm seeing big time committed from Janine. Awesome, you guys. So here's the deal. When you show up and you do the work, I— and when I say the work, what I mean is your personal development work on yourself. What I honestly believe is that you now have an influence and an impact on 7 generations behind you and 7 generations in front of you. Okay, let me explain this. So we come in with a lot of story and ideas and labels and conditioning about ourselves and our capabilities and who we are and who we aren't. We come in with a lot of ideas around this based on how we were raised. And doesn't mean our parents did a bad job. They did the best they could with the skills that they had. So that's a whole nother talk that maybe we can do another day. But then what gets to happen here is as you commit to doing your own work, you get to change the stories that you came in with. And then you're also very much shifting and rewriting the stories that then you're passing down. And, you know, they are getting passed down or not. Because when you think about it, the way you're showing up in front of your children, the way you're speaking to them or speaking to other people in front of your children, you want to model, you want to be a role model for your children because they are watching. They are watching all of the time, right? And just so you guys know, because you might be like, well, If this is your first introduction to me, you might be like, well, why is Carrie? Why is Carrie even qualified to have this conversation? I don't even know if she's a mom. So I have 3 children. I just turned 50 last Monday, you guys. I have 3 children, but I have 2 1-year-olds. They're twins. It's a boy-girl twin and they're about to turn 2 in February. And then I have a 7-year-old as well. So I had my first child at 42. I actually had him on my own. I went to a sperm clinic. Because I hadn't met my king yet, hadn't met my husband. And family is the number one important thing to me. I've always wanted a family, always knew I was meant to be a mama. And so I wasn't willing to lose that opportunity or that dream. And so I went to a sperm clinic, had my son on my own, my first son, and then had him at 42, even though I was told by the most, the number one fertility doctor in all of San Diego, you will never get pregnant. He told me that at 39. Messed with my head. I allowed it to mess with my head. And then I said, wait a minute, nobody gets to tell me what I can and cannot do with my body, right? I got pregnant 2 weeks later. Whole other story for another day. But I just share this with you because I want you to know every— you can absolutely create any dream in your life. You absolutely can create it no matter what if you allow yourself to work on yourself and you allow yourself to scale up. And that's going to impact your parenting. So then met my husband. Met and married in 10 months, went on a 3-year fertility journey. Lots of ups and downs, lots of pain around that. Ended up in a celebration with boy-girl twins, Chloe and Phoenix, and they are 1. I had them at 48 years old, an hour and 7 minutes apart. So 2 full deliveries. For those of you— and I'm just sharing with this crowd because I know you guys get it right. 2 full deliveries back to back, still breastfeeding them at 50 years old. And, um, and I share this with you because I have a lot of qualifications for this conversation. And I work with my son, my 7-year-old son. I work with him every single day, you guys. Every single day I work with him on his mindset mastery and his emotional mastery. And, and we pray together every single day on the way to school. I just dropped him off this morning. I prayed over him in the car every single day over school. He gets to add in anything anything that he wants to add in, which usually is amen, right? And he puts on his essential oils on the way to school, which we call bully repellent. And, and I work with his mindset. We read every single night together around mindset and my— in children's books. So children's language. Language. Yeah, we work, we read about mindset mastery and stories that include mindset mastery and emotional mastery. And so you guys, it's never too late to start with your kids. It's never too late. Okay? There's a lot of children's books out there that you can get that can, that speak in their language for their age group. I do think that it makes a difference to, to be an active parent around these conversations with your kids. Become active starting today. Okay? Become active starting today. So let's jump into these tips because I could talk and talk and talk, and I don't want you to miss these tips. They're super important. But the first tip that I wanna go over with you to really become a mindful parent is be mindful of what is actually triggering you as well. So that's where you get to do your own personal development work because it's important for you to decipher and determine what's mine What is my work that I've yet to heal that I am, I am putting on my child when it's really not about them at all, right? So number one is do your own personal development work to become, to, uh, become the best version of you possible. Notice I didn't say the perfect version of you possible. You're human. You're not gonna be perfect, but you can be the best version of you possible. And that is a dance. You're gonna go in and out of that dance. As long as you stay a student of your personal development work, then you're doing a great job. Do the best you can. Always stay a student of your personal development work. And Cindy will tell you, Cindy's one of my clients. We do women's group coaching program and she's one of my clients. She will tell you that is, that has definitely impacted her parenting, right? So know what is your own stuff. Know what is your triggers. And so you can clearly see this isn't actually about my children at all, right? And so you can course correct, you can take the focus and pressure off of them that you might be putting on them, course correct, reground yourself, re-anchor yourself in a peaceful mind, a peaceful heart, do what you need to do to reground yourself before you go back into that conversation. And mindful tip number 2 is apologize for where you got messy with them that really wasn't about them at all. So when— it's okay, you guys, to not be perfect. Your kids already know you're not perfect. Trust me, they already can tell you how you're not perfect. But what we get to do is we get to own our own mistakes, right? Let's not keep letting our kids think that they did something wrong or they're bad or whatever that is when it really wasn't their stuff in the first place, right? So it really is, and this comes to tip number 3, it really is, you know, so powerful for us to be that role model for them. Be the role model for them of the behavior that you would really like to see them how you would like to see them act. Be the, be the role model for, of that level of human being that you are desiring that they also get to grow into, right? So powerful because they're watching and they're listening, right? And I'm not saying I'm a perfect parent, right? My kids— well, my twins can't talk yet, but my 7-year-old He knows that I'm not a perfect parent. But you know what? We have conversations every single day. Like even this morning, I just shared that. I said, I love you no matter what. You know, I love you no matter what, right? You know, your dad loves you no matter what. You know that, you know, God loves you no matter what. No matter what, you are loved. And I'll tell you what that's created for him. He is rooted in confidence. He is rooted in self-confidence. Like, that kid is confident. He can go anywhere and make a friend. He is social. He is outgoing. He is amazing. And let me also share with you, he's gotten bullied at school. He's only in 2nd grade. In 1st grade, he got bullied in school a lot just by this one per— one kid, right? And his little co— co-star, that one kid who, who was bullying, and then his little friend that the two of them. And so my son got bullied a lot. And so he, he— so that is one reason I doubled down when he was in first grade when this started happening. I doubled down on working with my son every single day on his personal development work. And it's never too early to start with our kids, you guys. It's never too early. I know it was sad. It breaks my— it broke my heart too. I never expected it to happen so early. He was only in first grade. First grade, you know, in kindergarten he was pandemic, and so he was online. He was homeschooled for kindergarten, went to school, and there, there was a bully already in first grade. I was shocked. And so, um, but when we teach our kids that they when we teach our kids skills and they grow confidence in themselves and, you know, they feel comfortable coming home to you after school and sharing those difficult moments that were hard. You know, my son will share those moments with me. Thank goodness he's not holding into it. He's not hiding it. He's not suppressing his feelings. We talk it out. And so You get to be that role model for them about how communication gets to look, right? You get to also share with them and teach them it's okay to have feelings. It's okay to feel sad. It's okay to feel scared. It's okay to feel all the spectrum of feelings because we're humans and God put us on this planet to feel all the spectrum of, you know, the whole spectrum of feelings. So my encouragement is that you're really having conversations like this, like real conversations, not just superficial conversations, but you're having real conversations with your kids and you're teaching them skills, right? And I'll, I say to all of my clients, all the women I work with, I always say to them, pass this forward. You know, everything you're learning here with me, Teach this to your children at the level that they're at, you know, whether they're first grade, kindergarten, first grade, whether they're teenagers in high school, college, pass it forward. This gets to be really the work that not only you get to do as speaking to my clients, the matriarch and the, in the matriarch of your family, but you then get to, your whole family gets to win because you're doing this work and you get to pass it forward. Super, super powerful. So I just actually went over the 4th tip, which is let them know it's okay to be human. Let your kids know that you don't expect them to be perfect. Let your kids know that none of the kids in their class are gonna be perfect, and their siblings aren't gonna be perfect, and mom and dad and grandma and grandpa and aunties, and nobody's gonna be perfect. But what we get to do is we get to continue to show up, and what they get to do is get to continue to show up being the best version that they can in that moment and helping them understand that their day is made up of moments. And in every moment they get an opportunity to choose again. In every moment they get an opportunity to course correct outta negative thinking into positive thinking. Uh, they get a course correct into, um, you know, not, uh, feeling good about themselves, to course correct, to really feeling good about themselves. Like every moment is a moment that they get to decide. And so I'm the founder and CEO of the One Thought Away Project, where we really, really lock in. You're one thought away from being happy today or not, from being healthy today or not, from being connected today or not, from being in good communication with those you love today or not, right? And so you can easily teach that same concept to your kids to help them start to understand the power of their thinking. Most people are not leveraging their mind as one of the most powerful tools that they have. And it really is the— our mind is the most powerful tool that we have because you're one thought away from being super on fire and excited about your life today. Which is gonna impact how you're feeling. And that's gonna, you know, how you're feeling is gonna impact how you're thinking, how you're thinking's gonna impact how you're feeling. Around and around and around that goes. That's impacting the actions that you take. And it can, the repetitive actions that you take day in and day out become your habits. And your habits are directly impacting the re— all the results that you have in your life right now. And all the results that you don't have in your life right now. Right. And so this is super, super important that you get this one thought away concept for yourself and pass it forward to your children, because then they get to pass it down to their children, 7 generations ahead of them. Right. And you're, you're creating an entirely new legacy and it all gets to start with you. So the next tip, mindful tip for you is create a learning moment for your kids. Create a learning experience from the tough moments. It's just like the bullying that my 7-year-old went through. Um, so it started when he was in first grade, so it was probably, I guess he must have been 5 at the beginning of first grade, 6, he's 7 now, right? And so he got to grow stronger from that experience, and we're still in it, right? He gets to grow stronger from that experience. We created a learning experience for him. He's learned, he's learned so much about himself. My goodness, he's learned so much about himself because of the experience, but he's learned about himself because we stopped to have these conversations, because I stopped to teach him skills that get to take him to the next level. Okay, so the next thing that I have done with my son is I've taught him breathwork. And so he knows that when he starts to feel stressed or anxious or, you know, he's upset because of the kid at school, he knows that he can turn back to himself and take a few deep breaths. He can connect to his breath. We say take 3 deep breaths, right? He gets to connect back to himself that's gonna put him back into a position of feeling empowered. That puts him back into a position of feeling like he's doing something proactive that's gonna help him in tough moments, right? And kids of pretty almost every age, I mean, my twins, my twins might just start to be getting it cuz I do say take a deep breath and they might go, right? But they're not totally working the exercise yet. But at a pretty young age, kids can understand how to use their breath if you slow down and you teach them. Okay, so it's a really powerful skill for them. And then that last tip that I really want to give you, that's so important. And then we'll go into— I can look at the chat, I can answer some questions. I see we have two hands raised. I'm not sure if that's for me. So once I'm done a little bit further, Rebecca, you can let me know, or you could drop into the chat. But The last tip that I want to share with you is know to be a mindful parent. Know that it's okay for you to understand when you're reaching your limit and you get to have a little bit of space. You get to take a little bit of space for yourself and reground yourself. Okay, so being a mindful parent is it includes you understanding that, you understanding what your limits are and your triggers are, and you understanding when you get to that point where if you don't re-anchor yourself and reground yourself, you might start taking this out on your kids, right? You might start yelling at them or whatever that, you know, yelling at them or getting upset or getting impatient with your kids. And so it's really important for us as parents to to understand our own limits and to allow ourselves some space to course correct, to course correct and reground ourselves, and then go back into that conversation with them. And you can own your mistakes like we talked before. You can own your mistakes and, uh, and, um, have that authentic conversation with them. So let me— I see what was— was it 5 tips? Let me quickly go over the tips again, very quickly. I just want to make sure everybody got them, and I skipped around a little bit, so they might be in different orders, just so you know. But be mindful. Number 1, be mindful of your own triggers. Do your own personal development work is what's going to really create an experience for you, the best experience. Give you the— you know, that's what's going to give you tools to be a mindful parent. The most important thing is do your own personal development work. Number 2 is model the behavior that you want your children to have. 3 is when you, when you haven't acted in a way or spoken in a way that you're proud of, own your mistakes and apologize. Have a vulnerable conversation with your child. Own it. And again, model for them how they can also own when maybe they haven't acted quite as well as they would have liked to have acted or spoken or whatever that is. And so modeling that again, but speak to them and own that mistake. Don't just sweep it under the rug and pretend it didn't happen. It happened, right? 4, let them know it's okay to be human. And that's part of that apology process. It really does show them that, hey, mom's not perfect either, dad's not perfect either. And it's okay that I'm not perfect and I continue to do the best I can. 5 is when you have those tough moments, create learning experiences out of them, just like my son and the bullying. And 6, teach them breathwork so they have a tool when they hit those hard moments and they can put themselves back into a position of empowerment. And 7, let them know, uh, let— I'm letting you know, 7 is it's okay for you to take a break and know your limit and, you know, maybe change your environment so you can reground yourself, re-anchor yourself, put— plug yourself back into, hey, I want— I'm choosing to be a mindful parent. Plug yourself back into that, and then, um, and then you can go back in and have that conversation again. So I see women really having a tough time also when they get really stressed, anxious, overwhelmed. Overwhelm is a huge one for a lot of people. A lot of parents, they feel really overwhelmed with all the responsibilities. It starts to build up in them, you can easily explode or, you know, check out, escape, and numb out with food, an extra glass of wine, social media, overworking. Like, there's a lot of vices that women have. So if overwhelm is one of your things, and stress and anxiety, um, we do have an overwhelm guide. It's a free guide on overwhelm, and happy to gift it to everybody. It's just at the onethoughtawayproject.com. Uh, I think it's onethoughtawayproject.com/overwhelm. And that can really be a great starting point to start to work on your own personal development and, um, and really help you start to feel more in control of yourself, more in control of your thought processes, and more in control of your feelings so that you're proud. You feel really proud of yourself and who you are as a parent. Awesome. Thank you so much, Carrie.

Thank you for tuning in to the Whiny Palooza podcast. If you like what you heard, Please be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. While you are there, leave a review. I love to hear your feedback. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time.

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