Episode 246: The Root of Anxiety, Migraines, and Intestinal Issues with Tamara Castelo

Hello everyone, this is Rebecca Green for the Winey Palooza podcast, and I am over the moon excited today to have Tamara Costello here with us. Tamara, thank you so much for doing this with me today.

Thank you, I'm so excited to be here.

Um, I didn't get a chance to tell you this yet, my parents have a health food store. I was raised very holistic, so this topic I like— you are my woman. I am so excited to talk to you. I want to tell everyone about you because you're a specialist in Chinese traditional medicine, and she's the CEO of Tamara Costello Clinic, TMC Health, TMC Holistic, TMC Jewelry. I love jewelry too. And at her clinic, Tamara treats sleep disorders, thyroid disorders, intestinal diseases, anxiety, migraines, hormonal problems with a holistic approach to healing, which I absolutely love. She is the author of Gourmand Award-winning books, Healing Without Medicine, Eating Without Guilt, Full Balance. And she's coming to us from Lisbon, which is absolutely amazing. I just asked her what time it is. It is noon in Buffalo, New York, and it is 5:00 where Tamara is. So I appreciate her working out our schedules to make this happen.

Thank you.

So let's jump in because I have so much to talk to you about.

Let's go.

Let's go. And let's start with— I would love to know how you got into Chinese medicine and holistic healing. How did that happen?

Well, I have a thyroid problem since I was an adolescent. And a lot of bowel diseases, actually. Ah, interesting. Yes. And I think I started by that because my mom was completely tired of going to the doctors and corticoids and all of that medicine, which is important. And it's interesting in terms of emergency. But in terms of preventing and dealing with health, it's a bit difficult because they're dealing in— it's the different dealing experience. They deal in disease and traditional Chinese medicine deal in health and businesses. And my mom was kind of want my— to be my health coach, not my disease coach. So she decided that I had to promote my health, not just giving me pills to, to keep my disease better. So, and that's why I, I got into it. And then, yeah, it's been 16 years.

So it sounds like you found answers for your own health.

I did. And, uh, and then of course in medical school I did. It's, it's, uh, the 5 years, it's really important. And I've been in China for a lot of time, and then I did a post-graduation in homeopathy. And, uh, and then a master on integrative oncology. And, um, I think it's good. And I don't treat the people alone in my clinic. We are 33 at this point.

Wow, that is amazing.

Yeah, I don't do that all by myself. I'm not a superwoman. I just, I have a big crew and they, they, they are amazing to me and they allow me to, to improve and to be better every day. Without them, I couldn't do that.

Well, I mean, you've built something amazing, and I can't thank you how much I love— I love what you're doing. And, you know, I know that you are into effective, simple rituals. You talk about—

yes, I love it.

Okay, so we can do this to reduce stress in our daily lives. Can you talk about effective, simple rituals and what we can start doing?

I think it's, uh, when we deal with sick people, no matter what disease, even if you're not sick, if you just have a bit of stress or anxiety, I think the problem at this moment, and I see a lot of patients and I'm the director of two big clinics, and I think the problem is that people have trouble connecting with themselves, with what they want, with their needs, effective needs. Not I need a dress, not this kind of need. They don't even tell the difference between hunger or thirst sometimes.

True.

They confuse, they are so confused they don't even understand the body, their body, the body they're in. So, you know, the level of connection is so low at this moment of life. So this is a big part of the beginning of all diseases, because if you're not listening to your body and to the symptoms, because the body is smooth, it's not loud. When it's loud, you have a problem, Houston, really big one. So normally it gives you subtle, subtle symptoms, subtle things, difference on the movement, a little pain, a little discomfort. And you're not listening because you just confuse yourself with everything, you know. You, you confuse anxiety with fear, you confuse pain with the contract, and you, you confuse a bowel with the uterus. You're just not, not in, you know, you don't know yourself. So interesting. It's, it's really terrible.

Yeah.

You know, some, some people come to my— big people, like 40 years old, and, and I they are saying, oh, I have a pain in my liver, and they point to the left side. And I said, that's not the liver. You're 40, man, Google it, you know. Yeah, come on, you know, that you don't know your biology.

Yeah, yeah, no, I don't. I couldn't tell you where my liver is, if I'm honest, you know.

So it's— this is like one-on-one, you have to, you have to know your organs.

Yeah, you're right.

You see?

Yes.

Like, where this is hurting? Where? Which, which part? You know, which is telling me what? What? It's like, why is it important?

The message. What's the message? Yeah.

So if you just keep ignoring it, it leads you to disease. It's impossible because it's telling you and you're just not listening because you don't know what to listen. You don't understand the language. So I think the rituals are the beginning of that kind of bridge that I keep telling my crew and my clinical doctors that they have to do with the patients. So for the patients to have knowledge and connection with themselves, to understand, to feel their bodies, their emotions, their physical movements, which are so important. Their bowel movements, their menstruation moments, their hair, their eyes, their skin, their tongue, their everything, you know. So the conscience about ourselves in our body, in the world, in our minds is so important. And rituals are that, are the bridge to connections. Just that.

You're talking to me because I'm talking to you. You're talking to me because I'm a busy, I'm a busy I'm a busy mom, a busy working mom as well.

I have 2 kids.

Listen, I'm not proud of what I'm going to tell you, but I love what you're saying because I'm ignoring my body. And if my body's talking to me, I'm moving on to what I have to do in my day, and I'm not even taking a moment to think about what's going on. So this is good for me. I'm glad you're saying this. I'm embarrassed, but I hear you.

Yeah, but you are the majority. No worries.

I totally hear you. I love what you're saying. I'm going to start to pay attention more to my body. I just keep moving in my day. It's like, what's next? What's next? What's next?

If you cannot, just let me tell you. If you don't have time for health, you will find time for disease. No worries.

Yeah, no, no, no. We want time for health. Health. We're going to focus on health.

Disease is like, you have to have time, man. Oh, boy.

We're going to focus on health. Let's all focus on our body and health. I'm with you. Please.

And the mind. And the mind. Because the mind is polluted, too. It's not only the body.

I focus on my mind. I'm very good about that.

Good.

I'm very good about what I'm thinking. And how to— I'm so good at that. I'm gonna move to the body. I'm gonna work on that one next.

It's important.

So physical touch, you say physical touch is so important, specifically the embrace.

Yeah. You're not going to like this part.

Tell me, tell me why this is important because I wanna learn. Teach me.

Yeah. Okay. So, well, I will, I will teach you. You're not going to like it, but okay, let's do it. So normally people are in this century and ever since COVID since we, since 2010, something like this, we are completely focused in the power of our minds. I'm talking to you, actually. This is for you.

I'm listening.

And the power of thoughts and the shadow work. And it is really important. And the ego work. And it's super, super important. But it's something that we are lacking and missing, which is so, so important. It's our Not only our physical, mental health and emotions were completely traumatized with our life experience, because it's traumatizing in a good and a bad way. Childhood is difficult for everybody and everything is, it gets in our heads and our masks and all of our construction of the persona that we are. And our fears and our desires. And this is really important. And, uh, but it's really important to understand that all of our cells were there too. Yeah, we have the same liver and the same stomach. It's not— we are not the Barbie. They don't change it. So, and our liver and our stomach and our bowels and our skin which are not the same because clean, clean, but the identity and the trauma and the reaction to the environment, towards environment and all. If you're not treat— if it's not treated the same way you deal with your mind, you have to deal with your body because the trauma is everywhere. It's not only in your mind, because when you're, you're feeling, you're, you're experiencing an emotion you experience with your mind and definitely with your body. Nobody experiences only with the mind. Fear is a body movement. Love is a body movement. Excitement is a body movement. Everything is body and physical, and you feel it in your bones and in your mind, and it's expressing in your cells and in your blood and in your chemicals that's running through your blood. So It's completely impossible to understand and to think and to imagine that if you treat something, even if it's a pattern of behavior, behavior, if you treat it in your mind, if you don't treat it in your body, it's not treated because it's not in the root. It's just treated half because you're composed by two parts.

Yes, I agree.

Which is so important. So the physical touch is important in the way that yourself when you're in process of healing trauma, and it's not like huge trauma drama trauma, no, I'm talking about little issues you have with your father, with your mother, wounds of a little abandoned or a little rejection or a little low self-esteem, and you're thinking and you're feeling this, and your cells know this and they are feeling it too. And one way you can cool it down is by physical touch, because it releases a lot of chemicals like oxytocin, which is really important to lower cortisol and to give you the sense of safety and to give you the sense of I'm safe, this is a safe space. Because if you, if you tell it your mind, you can tell your, your cells every day you're safe. They will not listen. Your mind would listen because your brain is stupid. My brain is stupid too. So you can tell it everything, it will believe it. You can program it like a computer. It's easy. But your, your, your body, it remembers. It's terrible.

It's interesting because my daughter, my youngest, was hugging me for so long yesterday.

Oh.

And I, and I remember thinking, this is a really long hug, but I'm just gonna hug her because she needs this really long hug.

Or you need it.

Or I needed it. It was for me.

Kids, kids are good.

Kids are good.

She knew I needed it. You know, if you, if you push a hug for 20 seconds, you release so much oxytocin. That can give you the perfect good night's sleep. Hmm.

Oh, I love this advice. Yeah, you got me all emotional over here.

Yeah, that's good. Emotionally good. You're feeling it in your body.

Yeah, my, my family would tell you I'm one of the most emotional people.

Me too, I'm a Cancer. In my— oh, I'm Yes, yes, I know, no worries. That's awesome.

Oh my gosh, so tell us about your master's in oncology.

Oh, so in the TCM, Traditional Chinese Medicine master's in integrative oncology. So we have a lot of cancer. I do make— well, I, we do all of non-surgical medicine, of course, um, but I myself, I, I do normally autoimmune diseases and oncology. That's my specialty. But we have a lot of doctors doing a lot of things and psychologists and physiotherapists and osteopathy and a lot of things. It's cool. And I've seen a lot of cancers. So 3 years ago I decided to start the master because so many new drugs in Europe to treat cancer in conventional medicine, that we have to understand how to, how to deal with it with herbs and with all of the other things that we can do to improve the blood cells, the, the, the white cells count, the comfort of the patient, the energy, anxiety, pain, everything. So that's why I did a master's to understand How can I help more? And how can I help my crew? And how can I help the patients to survive more and more in an efficient way, not in the deficient way, which is important.

So how did that move your work? Like, how did that influence you?

I think when you open a door, more things happen. It's a problem with energy, you know. I think I did that before COVID and I didn't know that it will be so massive, the amount of cancer we eventually get after COVID. Here in Europe, it's like a virus. It's amazing in a bad way. I think because people didn't go to the hospital to do the scans they're supposed to do every other 6 months, every one time a year, they just miss it for 2 years. And it was, it was a disaster. It is a disaster.

That's terrible.

Yeah, it is. But I think it's all over the place here. It's just cancer, cancer, cancer, cancer, cancer. It's like crazy.

Well, you need to get rid of all this cancer is what I have to say.

Yeah, we are trying, but I think it's the health system. I think that it doesn't work anywhere because it's collapsing. We have to do something else other than this. This is not working. I think it's obvious. Agree.

Agree.

Yeah. So we have to do something else. We have the ideas. We just have to just move it on because this, this is not working, you know, it's not, it's not, it's not sustainable.

Well, I'm hopeful. I'm hopeful for—

Me too. Me too. Change.

We, you and I were laughing about your concept called Tamarindo. You got to say it for me.

Yeah, Tamarindo.

Tell me, tell me what that is. That's an awesome term.

That's a— well, that's a joke with my name. You understand that? So I do.

I do.

It was the beginning of a joke, and now it's a huge thing.

I love it.

Yeah. So yeah, so I don't know. I was 32, I think. My friends— I eat strange from since forever. And I'm really strict with my patients with food. I'm really, really— I'm terrible. Yeah, I'm terrible.

Oh, good. I want to hear about this.

Yeah, I'm so terrible. So it's okay. I am. And my friends are always laughing, you know? So when I did 32, I think they all got to my house with shirts and they said that I was a religion called the Tamarismo. They just laughed at me. But like, you are crazy. I don't— and in the front is like, Tamarismo, and in the back say, I don't eat kiwis because I hate kiwis. And it's kiwis. They are crazy. They all— they were in the stairs at my house. I just look at them all dressed the same. I was like, how are you joking? Are you kidding me?

That's awesome.

Yeah. So, and then we just keep on saying it. And one time I just say it in an interview in the television. And it's ticked.

It's a great— it's great.

And at this moment, it's a movement, and, uh, it, it will be actually a nonprofit association at this point. Yeah, it's really— it's huge at this moment.

Oh my gosh, that's awesome.

That's cool. Yeah, we just, uh, yeah, we do, uh, 5 challenges per year, which is really cool, with food and in rituals and with live streaming Zooms. And normally in each, um, challenge we have 500 people with us for 2 weeks. Yeah, it's really cool.

Okay, so you have to tell me, we gotta talk about food. Yeah, so you're really, so you're really strict about food?

Me and all my crew, we are terrible.

Well, because, because We're feeding our bodies and we want to feed our bodies good fuel.

Bodies and minds.

And mind. So tell me, tell me a little bit of your strictness. Like, what are you strict about with food?

It's not general because I like to keep it subjective to each patient, which is important. We do a subjective kind of medicine. Traditional Chinese medicine is that you have a big, big diagnose, and then you have to be really subjective to the people, which is why it works.

I think that makes sense.

Yeah, it's not like a paper which is for everybody.

So you can't tell us we all need to do the same thing because it's subjective?

I can tell you a little bit of things that you can—

Tell me it, tell me.

Yeah, you have some guidelines.

I'm scared, but let's go.

Let's go. So I think you have to, you have to think of the food in terms of 80%, 80% good, 20%, I don't want to know. So this is important to understand, but the 80%, they should be real. You're not only putting your body right. You have to understand that all of your emotions are ruled by your hormones. All that you feel— motivation, libido, tiredness, focus, uh, creativity, uh, happiness— all of that comes from your brain. Your brain is fed by your gut, so it defines what you feel.

I'm following, I'm following. This is awesome.

This is important. It's not just your body, it's much, so much more than that. So there are things you, you shouldn't in the 80%, like dairy. Why? There's no need for it. You can have calcium from greens. You can have probiotics from 3,000 other things.

Yeah.

So it's just, yeah.

So dairy is a no-no.

Come on.

Yeah.

21st century. It's like, you know, there's a lot of study on this. This is, yeah.

Yeah.

This is just, this is, this is, well, you have to Google in PubMed the studies and you will see. Um, oh, this is a huge no.

It's huge.

Yeah. The second huge no is sugar. Oh yeah. It's just terrible.

Terrible. Yeah.

It's drug. I know it's essentially drug. It's like, so more addictive than cocaine, and it's really difficult to get rid of, and, uh, much more difficult than, than cigarettes, much more difficult. It's so terrible, and it lowers your energy and gives you addiction and gives you, um, unbalanced mood and and gives you ups and downs, and it's terrible. And it's like a creep, you know, it's just taking your life force. It's terrible. And I think the processed foods, you have to just not touch it. Everything that has a date of 2 years, it's dead. So you have to other than rice, because rice is a good food, is a normal food. But you know, you have to eat food that come off the land because the other food are dead. Yeah, the shelves, you know, the, the things that comes in, in the cans. What is that, 5 years there? Well, you're eating them 5 years in a can. Are you sure? You wanna, you wanna put that in your mouth? I don't know, man. You have to, you have to think of it. It's important, you know, because it's, ah, if you really think of it, it's, it's, you have to give yourself food that exists, that gives you nutrients. It's not calories that you want. You want nutrients. Otherwise you get Alzheimer's disease, Parkinson's disease. Dementia and lobo-frontal dementia. And this is crazy.

Yeah. Really good advice. I'm listening to every word you say. So, you know that I want to talk about some of the stuff that you treat in your clinic, like intestinal, like intestinal issues. Can we start there?

Yeah. I have a bad one. Myself.

So how, so tell us some key components, like how can someone with intestinal issues start to make a difference in their lives?

First of all, and the first advice they hate the most. Yeah, I'm terrible. They hate me, but then love me. So people with about bowels are 9 meters long, roughly. Yeah. 2 tennis courts if you put it on. Yeah, so it's trillions of cells. Other thing that is important, that you have 100,000 millions— oh no, 100 millions of neurons, like in the brain. So it's a strange organ because have a lot of capabilities. Not only absorption, it's like so regulative, so regulative of hormones, so regulative of mood, so regulated of energy. It's super center in your body. It's like the main factory of all the bricks that you use to construct all of your body. So you have a problem in your gut, you have the problem on your main factory. So the first thing you have to do is you have to sleep for 9 hours a day, and they don't like it.

9 hours?

Really? People don't like it. Yeah.

Wow, I didn't think you were gonna say that.

Yeah, I really— I'm sorry, I'm not that emotional. I'm not, I'm not a perfect person, but 9 hours is important.

No, I want you to— I want your honesty. It's just not what I thought you were going to say. Okay, so 9 hours of sleep.

If you, if you skip this, everything— this is like the— if you have 100% of tools, this is the half of what you can do. Wow.

9 hours. I don't, I don't think anybody is sleeping.

Oh, my patient— my patients are sleeping because I'm so stubborn. Yeah, they are.

They are. Oh my gosh, I love that.

Okay. They are. They are at least 8 and a half. Anything that it's less than that, you don't have the time to de— disinflammate the bowel. It's impossible.

So, okay, okay.

You just keep getting And you, you can get stable, but it's always uncomfortable.

So interesting.

So sleep, main huge thing. Second thing, manage stress and anxiety, which is another beautiful thing. And thirdly, in this order, food. Foods for bowels are difficult. Yeah. So I think the main thing you have to take, of course, dairy. There is no, no, no.

I do see that. Yeah. Yeah.

No, but it's not lactose-free, please.

Yeah.

Because lactose-free is worse because has more sugar, which will increase the diabetes. Which is a no-go. So no lactose-free, nothing of dairy. Don't touch it. Actually, don't eat anything that say free, diet, co, light, nothing like that because it's worse. So dairy completely off. Wheat completely off. 100%. Some people with bowel disease cannot tolerate corn as well.

Right.

Completely off. And the problem with fruits and vegetables is the high FODMAP, which everybody talks about. And that depends on the person. But in terms, in general terms, I can tell you that apples are super terrible. Pears, not so good. The best are blueberries, the most amazing thing for bowels. Blueberries are perfect. You can do raspberries, which is really, really good. You can do cantaloupe, melon. I don't know if you know the yellow one. Yeah, really good. You can do a little bit of strawberries. Which are really, which are good. And if you do banana, it cannot have, it cannot be like mature. It has to be a bit green. Okay. These are the fruits that are good for you.

I'm surprised about apples.

Apples, it's a no-go.

Okay.

It's really not good for digestion.

Okay.

Like lettuce. Lettuce is the same.

Really?

Like horrible. Terrible. Wow.

Okay.

Terrible. Terrible.

Because we're all eating salads thinking we're doing a good thing.

No, no, no, no. If women, I can tell you women that has problems in the legs, like swollen legs during the day, like the, the, the, the belly in the end of the day is a bit bloated, salad is the worst thing you can eat. It makes you worst.

Okay.

Worse. Not making you better. Lettuce is a no-go for bowel issues. It's terrible. Really bad for digestion. Yeah. So good things are carrots, squash, pumpkin, um, which is good. Sweet potato. Really good. Normal potatoes, good too. Rice, it's okay. Um, fish, okay. Beef, if it's good quality, good. With pork, you should avoid it totally. Chicken, even only if you have completely sure what you, what you're buying, because of the hormones.

Okay.

It's a difficult subject. If it's a good chicken, it's perfect. If it's a normal chicken feed, by— yeah, you shouldn't. But normally fish is good. Meat, red meat, they tolerate if it's a good meat, but not grilled, because grilled is not a good way of cooking. With the fire, it's really not good. And the burnt parts, you should never eat. It's really, really terrible for your health. And from greens, you, you have to be a lot of, a lot of careful because the, the fibers in the bowel must be a little quantity. So anything that has that texture that is really heavy, like, you should avoid it.

So like, um, you know, like I'm thinking I'll cut up a tray of food and it's carrots and peppers and cucumbers and celery, and I mean, it's all really crunchy food.

Yeah, and it's raw.

So is that bad?

Yeah, you don't have— you don't— if you— if the organ is sick, the function is not perfect, so you have to help it a bit. Cooking is a good way of helping it.

This is interesting.

So if you cook it, you're just pre-digesting it. You just— you don't overcook it, not to take off all the minerals, but you just give it a cook, a small, like You know, like a little bit. And it will help a lot because you will absorb all the minerals and you will predigest it a bit. So it's, it's, it's easier on your system, on your stomach and your bowel. It's easier for your gut. Don't give it raw because the function is not perfect.

It's just interesting to me because in talking to so many people every day, I feel like digestion and intestinal issues, I feel like it's become so much more common.

I think the food is worse.

Yeah, I knew you were gonna say that.

It's shit, actually. Sorry.

No, you can go ahead. Go ahead.

Everything is completely pesticides and shit.

Oh, fabulous.

So we are completely overwhelmed with the— we are in ourselves, we are a fabric of pesticides. We are all completely radioactive at this point. So, you know, so.

Oh my gosh. Well, maybe that's going to answer my next questions because, you know, I want to touch on the other things that you treat, you know, anxiety, sleep issues. Can we start with anxiety? Because I feel like everyone I talk to is suffering from anxiety.

But anxiety is a big word. What is anxiety to you? Tell me.

Someone who is, who is suffering from anxiety is having it interfere. We all have anxieties. We all have a little bit of it, but I feel like when it becomes a serious issue, it's interfering with their daily life and they're consumed by their anxious repetitive thoughts throughout the day.

Okay. So anxiety for you is thoughts. That's okay. Anxiety for a lot of people is different. Anxiety is a big, big word. Yeah, it is. But anxiety is actually a good feeling. It's a good emotion. It's the emotion that keeps you in moving. So if it's, if it's in balance, it's good because it gives you movement, it gives you motion, it gives you ability to do it. The problem is that you don't know when to stop. And, uh, yeah, that's the problem.

Oh boy.

Yeah, you just put your feet in the accelerator and you go. And then when you want to stop, you don't know the brakes. And then you'd say, oh, I'm with anxiety. Or should you say, oh, I don't— I never take care of my body, I never listen, I never go to bed when I'm asleep, I just ignore it, I never put myself to rest because I just ignore myself every time, I just eat shit because I have things to do, and, uh, yeah, I have anxiety because my body is completely overloaded with anything, with everything. So yeah, that makes a lot of sense. So people have anxiety. I think it's not anxiety. I think it's anxiety, but actually is they don't treat themselves. They have, they, they, if they yawn at 9:00 PM, they ignore it. They keep pushing. And when they are really bad to themselves, they drink coffee. That's like, cha-cha, give it to myself, give it, give it. Man, if you're yawning, go to bed.

Yeah.

What's the deal? What is that treatment? That's terrible. So if you treat yourself bad for a long time and then you have anxiety, okay. So yeah, did you, you do, do you eat well? Do you go, do you poop every day? Your menses are good? You sleep 8 hours at least? No, no, no, no. So how do you want your body to respond? It's giving you symptoms for 3 years, 4 years, 10 years. You did nothing.

Yeah.

It has to give you something big.

Wow.

I mean, what do you expect?

Does this apply to the people who are telling me they're getting migraines? Because I'm hearing this a lot.

Yeah.

So this is the same. This is— these are the same reasons why people are getting migraines.

People don't listen. The body says, I'm tired. And they say, okay, I'm taking another coffee. Oh, boy. This is what you get from tiredness or eating chocolate or eating cookies to write a paper. This is what you get from tiredness. You don't respect yourself. You're just breaking the boundaries of your body all the time. And then you're anxious and you have migraines and your bowels suddenly go sick. Oh, wow. That's, that's a genius. I mean, come on, man. It's just, I tell my patients and then when I tell them, they say, oh, it's been like 10 years that I'm doing that. And I said, oh, good. So your body actually is really resilient. It endured 10 years of abuse.

Wow.

And they say to me, okay, if I did it right, I'm getting better. I said, yeah. Now I have to give you prescriptions because I need to put you to sleep. And I need to tell your body that you're not going to mistreat it because now you're in fight and flight response. Because every time your body told you to go to bed, you just push it. You just push it and you're just traumatizing yourself. And now when you want to go to bed, the body stays awake. Oh no, I cannot go to bed. I cannot go to bed, otherwise he's going to give me coffee or something else. Yeah, you're laughing.

You're not fun.

Don't laugh.

It's not funny. It's not funny. We do crazy things. We do. I know we do.

Terrible.

Terrible. Terrible.

And then what you want? That we don't respond? Of course we are going to respond. I'm not talking, of course, about anxiety due to severe trauma. This is another thing. Absolutely. I'm talking about anxiety of daily living and a lot of anxiety for overwork, for overtime. And I said, of course, but did you respect it? No. Okay. Then I will, of course, we give breathing exercise, we give herbs, we put you to sleep, we do acupuncture, we do all the things that help, but you have to change your behavior.

Yes.

Because it's a, it's a lot of, uh, and you have to have change of your mentality, understand Why did you do that to yourself? Why are you such a perfectionist? Why are you treating everybody else better and putting yourself last? What is the trauma in that? What is your side of the story? Why are you doing that? So this is the important thing about yourself. You have to know yourself. That is the connection I was talking about. Why are you doing that? You treat everybody, you give the food perfect to everybody, Everybody is on time for everything. Everybody is perfect and everybody is well dressed and you're just shit. You eat something, you go and you—

why?

What's happening? This is the question.

This is, this is most women.

Yeah, of course. I treat women. 95% of women.

And I, and something, and we need to change. We all need to change.

Please. Because what's happening? We want to teach this to our kids. I have two daughters.

I know, I know.

I don't want to teach that because this is bad behavior. You know, this is bad behavior. You have to understand and respect your body first because it's the only one you got.

I know.

And then they are with disease and they say, oh, my body breaks. Yeah, good for you. Now you have the— now, now you can treat yourself. Good for you. It's an opportunity. And anxiety, it's always, always, always, always, always a sign of a secondary effect. Never, never a primary problem. It's never a disease. It's always a side effect. Only in trauma, only in big traumas, of course, as we speak, that's not the case that we are talking, but it's always a side effect of exhaustion, of pushing yourself both mentally and physically in some way, or to mistreat yourself in some way. And that is the thing that you have to address, not give something to lower the anxiety. That won't do shit. In long term. Because you, if you don't change the behavior, you will do it again and again and again and again and again. That's why people don't get off the antidepressants.

Yes.

They don't change the behavior.

You're amazing. No, no, you are absolutely amazing. I knew you would be. I read about you and I'm like, sign me up to talk to this. Thank you. Oh my gosh. Um, you know my belief system. You know that I'm very into everything that you're talking about, and I could talk to you all day, but yeah, me too. You have another appointment. Yeah, I can't talk to you all day, but is there anything else that you feel is important to share before I let you move on with your day?

No, I just say sugar, dairy, sleep, mind, body, respect, limits. Yeah.

Oh, I love this.

I love this. I, I just, I, I didn't talk about pleasure. Oh, that's important to finish.

Okay.

So the energy of creativity and motivation and life, it's, it's the same energy of libido. Sex drive. And if you don't find pleasure every day, not in sex but in everything, your motivation and pursuit of dreams in your life will go away as well. So this is important. Your body is— you have a lot of, of sensations textures. Your skin has the ability of feel, you have the ability of smell, you have the eyes to see. So it's supposed to feel pleasure, pleasure with the bath, with the oil in your, your body, with the oil in your face and the massage. You have to feel pleasure every day and you have to be connected to that, to be connected to life and to yourself. Because without that, the lack of motivation, especially in women, goes away, and we do perfectly well sexual absence. If you're not connected to that pleasure, and we just disconnect from that, which is so important to hormone regulation.

Such good advice. You are a wise wonderful lady.

That's the laugh.

Tell everyone where they can go find you.

Oh, so Instagram, Tamara double underscore Castello, and online, Tamara-Castello.com.

I cannot thank you enough for your time today. Thank you. This was absolutely wonderful.

Thank you so much.

This is Rebecca Green reminding everyone to spend every day laughing, learning, and loving. Thank you for tuning in to the Winey Palooza podcast. If you like what you heard, please be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. While you are there, leave a review. I love to hear your feedback. Thank you so much for listening. Until next time.

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